Celeste.Carol Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Hello Loveshack! I would appreciate some wisdom and insight. I met a man online and we hit it off right away. We were both surprised at the ease and great intensity and how well we took to one another. You would have thought soul mates if you are into that type of thing. This was with just phone calls texts, and emails. We met and instantaneously it was if we knew each other forever. We laughed and hit it off. We did drink a little more than normal and did sleep together. It was fantastic. He emailed me first thing in morning that he had a Great Time. We texted some more about things here and there and how he liked everything. I had to go and he told me to call later. I was busy but sent a text later that early evening and did not hear back until the next day. Well the texts were not coming un like usual so of course I worried he was pulling away. He wrote that "We are both heading into uncharted territories and please do not lose trust in me." He continued to be distant. He told me to call him the next night. Everything felt fine but then he sent a text that he was not interested! I of course have always lived with passion and enthusiasm so I do not play games or hot/cold. When he texted he was not interested I told him to 'Foff" which is not normal of my vocab. I felt terrible so I tried to call and he hung up on me. Backstory was he got out of a long relationship in which they fought and then made up, fought and then made up...that maddening stuff you see other couples do. He told me before we met that they had a huge blowup at Christmas and broke it off and he tried dating but was never interested until he met me. He almost called her. I now wonder if he did call her and was juggling their talks and this. He knew I came out of a bad relationship and I had not dated for a long while and was taking a big chance with this. I am hurt. I know I acted the part of crazy when broke up with BUT I do not believe in presuming that of people because they have feeling and get upset. My question if what the heck was he talking about uncharted territory, he felt he was entering uncharted territory with me when he has been casually dating for 8 months prior. I will move on but a little shell shocked at the moment and will wait a small while before jumping into the dating game again. I try to protect my heart. Thanks!
Redhead14 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 I am sorry to be harsh, but the title of this thread makes me question the credibility of it. It doesnt make sense. Nevertheless, the bottomline is don't spend another minute thinking about this guy. Date men who are truly available, emotionally. The guy was dealing with a recent ex, Id say and not really emotionally prepared to date.
Author Celeste.Carol Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Not harsh, it was just what you thought and not being harsh myself, but you did not answer the question. He has been dating other women for awhile. It was fast and furious and fun. My question was why show the interest after and say we were both in uncharted territories and to please trust him, only to dump me soon after. It is weird to me.
Author Celeste.Carol Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 To clear things up so it does not seem like a fake post, I meant barbarous in that it was raw and real, a lot of intensity. I might have been duped but it seemed different to that. Thanks if anyone has any insight!
Redhead14 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Not harsh, it was just what you thought and not being harsh myself, but you did not answer the question. He has been dating other women for awhile. It was fast and furious and fun. My question was why show the interest after and say we were both in uncharted territories and to please trust him, only to dump me soon after. It is weird to me. Celeste, this happens all the time. Its just part of dating. The guy was on the rebound and simply not emotionally prepared to move forward with you. Uncharted territory may have simply mean't that you two were dating and he didn't know where it would go. He may have liked you, moved too quickly and then got scared or realized he wasn't really over the ex. It doesn't really matter. You didn't do anything wrong to scare him off or anything. It was him, not you 1
Author Celeste.Carol Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Thanks Red, I told the guy to f'off! Omg! I am really scared to put my heart back out there. I live an amazing life, am told I am beautiful by many, huge house, all the luxuries...BUT lonely as can be. It sucks really and I am not afraid to admit that, lonely and it sucks!
Redhead14 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Thanks Red, I told the guy to f'off! Omg! I am really scared to put my heart back out there. I live an amazing life, am told I am beautiful by many, huge house, all the luxuries...BUT lonely as can be. It sucks really and I am not afraid to admit that, lonely and it sucks! Don't worry about it. He'll get over it . If he doesn't he's got bigger problems than all this. Loneliness is a powerful thing to deal with. You have nothing to fear but fear itself. Just date and manage your emotions and expectations in the very early stages of dating a new guy. Enjoy each date as they come. Pay attention to men who come on too hard and fast or who are too slow in their pursuit. Too slow usually indicates emotional unavailability as well. Men who communicate consistently and respectfully, not too sexual, schedule proper dates are the ones to give attention to. Dont believe everything they say. Let them show you. 1
Author Celeste.Carol Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 That is great advice. I really did not need this type of distasteful experience in my life right now. I am going to apply the thought stop process to this situation, if I attempt to rehash it. it is not worth it and neither is he. Thank you for your thoughts.
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