Would love to ask my ex-girlfriend out on a date again 9 months post-break up

[colby5]

How do we get a second shot at this? How do I go to her and ask her to consider the possibilities. All I want is a date…just to see. I’ve changed dramatically, and I’ve changed for the better. I truly feel as though I can give her everything she felt deprived of. I’m stronger. I’m happier. I’m climbing out of the deep, dark hole I fell into. I want to live life with her…and not just “live”, but truly LIVE.

 

I want to experience it all. I want to give it to her, and no one else, because she’s worth it. She’s worth the effort and the wait. Persistance is one of my most prominent traits. I'm steadfast and unyielding, and when I locate a target I keep going for it until I hit it. That's just the way I've always been. I can’t get over the fact that we failed as a couple. I’ve gotten past it to an extent, but I’ll never be "over it". It’ll always be a sore spot…one of the most damaging life events I’ve endured (and I’ve endured MANY). I feel as though I'll always wonder "what if". And I never want to have to wonder.

 

She was literally my dream girl. She's extraordinary and beautiful and, to this day, she's loved by everyone in my life. I was so incredibly blessed to have ever even crossed paths with her. We never should've crashed and burned. Our entire story is like something out of some novel….the way we met, the way we ended up dating, our lives together and the absolutely incredible accomplishments we made, our tragic break up, and the way that, no matter how broken our relationship might be, we still care for one another and fate just seems to push us together during every major life event we’ve faced since the break up. It’s insane.

 

I’d just like to take her hand and ask her out once more…to make an attempt to start somewhere fresh. And if it doesn’t work out, I just want to know for sure that it wasn’t meant to be. I need to know for sure. I would’ve stopped a long time ago if I didn’t truly love her. I might not know what's best for her, but I want what's best for her. And I think I can give her the world. I know I'll love her with my whole heart...for sure. Knowing what we both know now, I don’t see how we could make the same mistakes twice. I don’t see how we could fail again, unless we’re both absolute fools.

 

Extra Read:

 

The reasons behind our break up are super complicated.

I ended up quickly moving up the ranks and towards a significant position for someone of my age to be in. She worked alongside me and I really credit her with having helped me to reach all of my goals and dreams. We were partners (she even made a comment last week about how we'd still make awesome business partners one day). Before we knew it, I'd become somewhat of a local "celebrity", having gained a lot of local attention for my accomplishments.

To all of the outsiders looking in, we were the perfect couple. And I really feel as though we were a near perfect couple. I did have some hidden issues that I was dealing with (family issues, personal issues, depression), and my extremely busy schedule, coupled with my status as a full time college student at a prestigious university, didn't make my life any easier...so the stress was a lot to handle at 19, 20, 21 years old.

She was always proud of my accomplishments, but I think she kind of felt as though she was pushed to the side at times. I was overwhelmed for sure. Well, all hell broke loose. I was caught in the midst of a web of lies and accusations. I lost everything I'd accomplished. I became terrified, bitter, and severely depressed, and for months we had to endure constant battering. Our lives turned upside down. Nothing was the same.

I spent a long time in a dark place, both before and after the break up. I literally clawed my way out of it though, got help, and haven't stopped pushing towards something better, even though I'm still entangled in a giant mess. I've just learned SO much about how to handle (and how not to handle) situations. And I realize how she felt, and I realize how she cared so much about me that it must have killed her to see me in such pain. And I absolutely love her for that. Part of me understands why she left me in the dust, and the other part is trying to mend from the heartbreak that's stemmed from not understanding how someone who loved you the way she did could just do that.

We're both the same people at our cores. I think we've both learned A LOT from our experiences, and the way I look at it is that these experiences will only benefit us in the future. I mean, we've gone through things that most 40 year olds haven't even had to handle.

[theredpill]

Phone and ask her out, stop with the approval seeking, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone but the face you see in the mirror.

 

If you can get the courage to do this, why not all the girls you see everyday?

 

Surely starting anew is better than revisiting previous failures?

[Simon Phoenix]

Nowhere in there do you even mention if she's remotely interested in maintaining contact, much less giving a second chance.

[Satu]

The Second Chance is usually the one that follows immediately after the Last Chance.

 

I would never ask anyone for a second chance.

 

It's demeaning and self-belittling.