crazychick Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 So last week I sent the ex an email. I told him I was having a hard time with the breakup and that maybe it was better if he didn't contact me. That I cared about him but hearing his voice right now just gets me all worked up. I wished him well and then assumed that was the end of it. And it was, until last night. Last night he calls me and says he wants to talk about everything. We talked for a while about the relationship, what went wrong, how I feel about him and then he told me that he wanted to go out and that he'd call me back. I hung up with him and thought, "I can't go out with him. I can't be around him right now." He calls me back but I missed the call. So I called him back, only his voicemail isn't working on his phone. So I call him like 3 times, he doesn't answer his cell. So I leave him a message on his home phone just saying sorry I missed your call talk to you later. A little while later I get a call from some girl. I assume its the wrong number because I don't recognize her voice, but then I hear him in the background. She hangs up. So I call him back and he says something like, I'm in Italy right now, can't talk. and hangs up. I was like, um, huh? So then he calls back. Only its not him. Its this girl. And she says to me, "I'm his girlfriend. We got in a fight and for some reason when we are fighting, he likes to lead you on." I was stunned. In all this time since we broke up there was no mention of a girlfriend. Nothing. Not even a hint. I said, "ok. i'm sorry, i didn't know." she asked me if I want to talk to him, and I say no and hang up. Then I threw up. Then he calls and says he's sorry and hangs up on me before I can say anything. I go to bed. Then I get up and send him a message that says, how could he use me like that, like a pawn for his new relationship when he knows how I feel about him? How could he be that cruel? Then I asked him to let me let go of him. and that I was disgusted and hurt. Then it dawns on me, how he acted when we broke up, they were all signs that he was interested in someone else and I was just so devestated I didn't see them. He called me again, I didn't answer. Says I have no clue how sorry he is and that he was dating her from the beginning on a message, which I already figured out. Now I just feel like crap. When we broke up I told him that I was interested in someone else and he gave me a hard time about it. Made me feel bad. But he was already seeing this person. How stupid am I? I cannot believe this.
Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Wow...that's hard. Put your head up, look at the bulls*** she's going through...why would you want to go through that again?? He has no idea what he's doing and the reason he gave you such a hard time about you being with someone else is because he had a guilty conscious and wanted to give you the ultimate line..."you found someone else so did I"!! Be happy he's out of your life now you have time to find someone who's going to treat you good and love you the way you need to be loved...Good luck...OH and Do NOT contact him...NO Way!!
Author crazychick Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Ok here is a weird thing. Even though I am really hurt I feel oddly calm. A while ago I cooked him dinner and brought it to him in this beautiful picnic basket which I love and was given to me as a gift. I want it back. I was hesitant about it in the past because I kept thinking I would have to see him to get it back and that I didn't want to go thru that. Plus I didn't want to add insult to injury by asking for it back. But now, I just want it back. Would it be ok just to send him a message asking him to ship it to me? I don't want to see him or talk to him or anything. I just want the basket back.
Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 But now, I just want it back. Would it be ok just to send him a message asking him to ship it to me? I don't want to see him or talk to him or anything. I just want the basket back. Don't even bother...Get a new one. You can't contact him because he'll think it's an excuse in your part to call him. Let it go...it's just a basket you can find a better one and one that doesn't have memories of him.
Author crazychick Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Ok. I can deal with that. He sent me an email saying how sorry he was and how bad he feels. I just responded and told him not to call or contact me anymore. I hate this.
alphamale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by crazychick Then I asked him to let me let go of him. please read the above excerpt, CRAZYCHICK, and tell me what is wrong with it.
Author crazychick Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 I asked him to let me let him go. Since it is too hard, everytime he would call me I would slip into this stupid sprial of I miss you crap. I need to get out of that pattern. And he needs to stop calling me. Know what I mean?
alphamale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by crazychick I need to get out of that pattern. And he needs to stop calling me. Know what I mean? it someone putting a loaded gun to your head forcing u to answer when he calls? or is someone threatening to break your neck if you don't respond to emails or text msg?? think about it for a while.
westernxer Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I agree with Alpha. Stop torturing yourself. And stop the contact NOW. Your ex has got it made.
Author crazychick Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Youre right, I dont have to answer his calls. I dont know why I do. I don't call him or contact him at all. I just take the calls from him. I let this happen. So does that mean I deserve this?
alphamale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by crazychick I let this happen. So does that mean I deserve this? basically, yes. if u answer the phone or reply to emails you will get what u deserve.
Author crazychick Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Wow. So the fact that I loved him, that we were together for a long time and we just recently broke up - and that I still have feeling for him doesn't matter. That gave him the right to not tell me about this relationship that he was in and to use me. Because I cared about him and wanted to talk to him. Before I knew all of this. Not now. Now I don't want anything to do with him. Don't you think you are being a little harsh?
westernxer Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Doesn't matter that you still have feelings for him and shared what you felt was special. People will hurt you regardless, because life is cruel. You have every right not to put up with it, just as he (arguably) has every right to be a bastard about it. Just find someone better... and strive to get over him ASAP.
Merin Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 WTF! How old is this Guy, like 13? What an A**hole! Not to mention his new GF... Whaatttt the hell? She calls you and says that? My God could we get a little more immature here? Don't contact his dumb a** anymore, don't accept any phone calls from him, don't respond to his text messages or emails.. Honey when someone cares about you (Jeez even as a friend for Godsake!) they DON'T do things like this with the intent to hurt you.. you can't even say he didn't mean to hurt you, he set out to do it and that isn't okay. Take back control of your life here sister!
alphamale Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by crazychick Don't you think you are being a little harsh? Nope! You cannot force someone to be with you and if he wants someone else there aint much u can do.
Author crazychick Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Never once have I tried to force him to be with me. Remember I never called him. I just answered the phone when he called. So that was my problem. I think that yes, he acted like a 12 yr old. And no matter how he apologizes, it doesn't matter. I don't even want to hear it. What's done is done. As far as she's concerned, that was a pretty immature thing to do as well. She was mad at him and took it out on me - when I had nothing to do with it. I don't want to be in the middle of his new relationship. If I had known that there was a new relationship, I wouldn't have felt this way. Like I said, I had told him about this person in my life that I was interested in and he totally freaked out and made me feel bad about it. Good for him that he has someone, but I am so done being the poor little ex-girlfriend who he can call on whenever he needs to. That's crap. I am better than that. I don't even want to here his freaking voice again. I'll get over him. Starting today. I don't want anything else to do with that freaking immature idiot. Good luck to her in dealing with that crap. At least I am not her, knowing he has been calling me, that he didn't tell me about her, and that he is/was trying to lead me on. How nice for her to be dating someone like that. And whos to say he wasnt doing the same thing to me that he is doing to her at some point and I just didn't know. I am taking control back. He doesn't and never did deserve it to begin with.
Merin Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by crazychick Never once have I tried to force him to be with me. Remember I never called him. I just answered the phone when he called. So that was my problem. I think that yes, he acted like a 12 yr old. And no matter how he apologizes, it doesn't matter. I don't even want to hear it. What's done is done. As far as she's concerned, that was a pretty immature thing to do as well. She was mad at him and took it out on me - when I had nothing to do with it. I don't want to be in the middle of his new relationship. If I had known that there was a new relationship, I wouldn't have felt this way. Like I said, I had told him about this person in my life that I was interested in and he totally freaked out and made me feel bad about it. Good for him that he has someone, but I am so done being the poor little ex-girlfriend who he can call on whenever he needs to. That's crap. I am better than that. I don't even want to here his freaking voice again. I'll get over him. Starting today. I don't want anything else to do with that freaking immature idiot. Good luck to her in dealing with that crap. At least I am not her, knowing he has been calling me, that he didn't tell me about her, and that he is/was trying to lead me on. How nice for her to be dating someone like that. And whos to say he wasnt doing the same thing to me that he is doing to her at some point and I just didn't know. I am taking control back. He doesn't and never did deserve it to begin with. Amen Sister!
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