ManyDissapoint Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Hello All, You can read the history of my relationship / breakup here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/514046-my-breakup-story And the one breadcrumb I received here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/523791-my-first-breadcrumb Well unfortunately I broke and responded to my ex's breadcrumb after sitting on it for two months. To be fair, most of that period I had put it out of my mind. But at one point it was just eating at me and I wanted to explore that 1% chance. Result was just about as expected. However what was unexpected was that she found a new avenue to upset me. I believe it was all a big manipulative smokescreen, but essentially she told me that even after she cut contact off with me, she was half hoping / half expecting me to show up (across the globe) in a Grand Romantic Gesture. She insists that she still loved me even after she broke up with me, and still says that to this day. Thing is that she gave me zero hints that there was any chance between us. So basically my question to the fellow LSers, how possible is it in this day and age that someone actually believes in that stuff. She basically pooped all over me, telling me its definitely over, to leave her alone, that I needed to see other people, with a big dash of coldness, aloofness and generally alienation. To me it's just another manipulation tactic, essentially now that that period is over, she's found another thing to claim that I did wrong. Is she just evil? Just immature. It boggles the mind. People who love each other should open doors for each other, not set them down in a minefield and start taking notes. Thoughts? 1
WomenWubber Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 She tought it would work on you. Maybe it has before.
Happines Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Well from what I red she broke up with u for no real reason so no I would not do much to get back with her However if there is something you did to hurt her then I guess you should actually show her you are sorry and that you want the relationship back It very much depends how much u want her back and if she really deserves it...from what I red I would not run after her because u didn't do anything wrong and it was her choice to leave 1
Author ManyDissapoint Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Well from what I red she broke up with u for no real reason so no I would not do much to get back with her However if there is something you did to hurt her then I guess you should actually show her you are sorry and that you want the relationship back It very much depends how much u want her back and if she really deserves it...from what I red I would not run after her because u didn't do anything wrong and it was her choice to leave I was not a good communicator, and did avoid dealing with and talking about the hard issues. I figured that when she had a problem or a need, she would come out with it in a straight forward manner to discuss it with me. We had agreed to stay here for 2 more years, but she left after one. She lost trust in me because I didn't take steps to leave, but in my reckoning it was not yet time and I would have taken steps in the coming months. With regard to running after her...well she's been a completely silly person and doesn't deserve it in my logical brain, but I do love 'her' and I would do anything to be with the person who I thought she was. The question is that...I don't know who she really is anymore. At any rate she said very clearly that she's not interested in romantic reconciliation at all. But then again, she also said that before and yet supposedly expected a Grand Romantic Gesture. I just feel so jerked around.
Happines Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Well you two had a massive problem coz you were not able to communicate with each other properly and talk about ur issues Look when I left my ex I left him for a very good reason However even then I told him that if I see some changes I am willing to work on us...the only change I saw was few useless messages and nothing else so I asked him to completely leave me alone and stop confusing me In regards to her well it sounds that she is kind of playing games and expects you to do all the work which I don't think is fair in this situation as u didn't cheat neither u did any other nasty things...I believe in your case should b you two sitting down and trying to find a way to make it work...if she says she is not bothered then leave it...my guy lied to me and kissed a other girl and many many other things and even then I agreed to work on things coz I loved him but he still continued being same ass When u love someone u wat to make it work 1
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 So basically my question to the fellow LSers, how possible is it in this day and age that someone actually believes in that stuff. Many women have been brainwashed by bookies, TV & movies into thinking the grand romantic gesture fixes everything. You are better off dating somebody who doesn't live in fantasy land. 1
mightycpa Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 However what was unexpected was that she found a new avenue to upset me. I believe it was all a big manipulative smokescreen, but essentially she told me that even after she cut contact off with me, she was half hoping / half expecting me to show up (across the globe) in a Grand Romantic Gesture. Of course she wanted that! Who wouldn't? It has to be very ego-boosting, very validating to have someone go to all that effort for you. The real question is what would have come of it, had you done that? Read on...She insists that she still loved me even after she broke up with me, and still says that to this day. Thing is that she gave me zero hints that there was any chance between us. So basically my question to the fellow LSers, how possible is it in this day and age that someone actually believes in that stuff. She basically pooped all over me, telling me its definitely over, to leave her alone, that I needed to see other people, with a big dash of coldness, aloofness and generally alienation. Nothing would have come of it. She wanted you to feed her ego. That wish was all about her, not about you. I'm shocked she'd admit it.To me it's just another manipulation tactic, essentially now that that period is over, she's found another thing to claim that I did wrong. Is she just evil? Just immature. It boggles the mind. People who love each other should open doors for each other, not set them down in a minefield and start taking notes. Thoughts?I'll bet she is a dramatic personality. Anyway, don't beat yourself up over it. She's just sharing what a shallow person she is with you, that's all. I have to believe that as a dumper, you either want that, or you want to be left alone. No in between. 1
Author ManyDissapoint Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Of course she wanted that! Who wouldn't? It has to be very ego-boosting, very validating to have someone go to all that effort for you. The real question is what would have come of it, had you done that? Read on...Nothing would have come of it. She wanted you to feed her ego. That wish was all about her, not about you. I'm shocked she'd admit it.I'll bet she is a dramatic personality. Anyway, don't beat yourself up over it. She's just sharing what a shallow person she is with you, that's all. I have to believe that as a dumper, you either want that, or you want to be left alone. No in between. This was my conclusion as well. In fact I told her as much. Of course she denied and said that she had held out some 'strange hope' for me. She does have a history of fantasyland outlook. Why do we fall in love with such dangerous people?
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