californiabro Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) In a relationship with a girl for 1 year and 9 months now. I'm 23 and she's 20. First 2 months was fine... though she kept talking to guys in fb, adding them, and telling me she tells then she has a bf already. We argued about it that time more than once. Worse is, she does not want to put she's in a relationship with me in her profile, her excuse is that she wants to protect us from other people. After those two months was harsh. We kept on arguing, mostly why she is hiding me from everyone. Only two of her former friends know about it. Even now that's all. The relationship went really murky. She gets really angry or annoyed when she does not like what I said or do. Time went on, and relationship went bad to the point she tried to broke up with me saying "There's no more spark anymore." And next tried to broke up with me because I did not followed what she wants me to behave in the relationship, like asking why she still hides me from everyone still for so long. I begged both times for her to stay. And the darkness continues. I noticed she is losing interest on even talking to me on 5th - 6th month I guess. Then out of stupid desperation I finally told her how much I earn and what I really do at work. Well, I have a pharmaceutical business and it generates 76k us dollars every month, I have a 101 hectares of land in a tropical country, I also have an island in the same country, I have 4 houses, 6 cars, and a restaurant, and also studying double degrees in engineering, computer and electronics and going to take law soon. Reason why I have not told her about it is because she is my first gf and I only thought of love. And I am a conservative type. And yes a virgin, by choice. Also it might help that girls find me attractive, I'm tall I guess, 6'0" height. I was approached by girls many times but I was busy with work and school. I am also a singer in a rock band and I play sports a lot like basketball. Anyways after I told her about this all. She was speechless. Then she changed. She was being SO NICE... and now she cries... especially when she feels I'm going to break up with her because I am too busy. And now does everything I ask her to do. But I never took advantage of her and always respected her. And waiting to have sex in marriage only. So guys/girls... does she "loves" me because of... you know... me having all these things? I asked her and she said no. Well that's why I'm still with her. But I want to hear others' opinion. I just don't want to waste my time not knowing the truth of "our" love. Edited August 31, 2015 by californiabro
Maggie4 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 How do you manage to hide all that stuff? You would need to hide the 6 cars and also hide your business dealings, like go into a different room so she can't hear you on the phone running your business. You'll also have to hide all the paperwork, and hide your smart phone. I assume you live in one of your houses, and it wouldn't be shabby if you make that much money, so you never let her see where you live? You did that to her for a year and 9 months, and you wonder why she didn't like you? She probably found your behavior extremely suspicious! 5
nyah Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 How do you manage to hide all that stuff? You would need to hide the 6 cars and also hide your business dealings, like go into a different room so she can't hear you on the phone running your business. You'll also have to hide all the paperwork, and hide your smart phone. I assume you live in one of your houses, and it wouldn't be shabby if you make that much money, so you never let her see where you live? You did that to her for a year and 9 months, and you wonder why she didn't like you? She probably found your behavior extremely suspicious! 100% agreed on above post! Sorry if you're legit mate, but it sounds shady..... 2
stillafool Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 If what you said is true she clearly only wants your possessions. She barely had any interest in you at all before you mentioned all of your stuff. Why do you feel the need to use your possessions in order to get a girlfriend?
Lansing Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Pharmaceutical business... ie, you are a drug dealer? 76k a month and you are only 23?? Wow... Personally, I have a bit of money and always worried that girls might be attracted for the wrong reason so I hide it as well (i.e. I don't have a fancy car, fancy place, don't spend a lot of money, etc) but you are on a different level there.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 She probably doesn't totally buy you're story. I wouldn't. Unless it's family money and a family business, I would have a very hard time believing it. Again, as another poster said, my apologies if this is all true. But if some 23-year-old claimed to have this much independent wealth and managed to hide all of it, I would be questioning it in a major way. 2
Clarence_Boddicker Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Prenup. Don't discuss what you're worth. Hopefully your name doesn't bring all that up if you search. Not all girls are gold-diggers. The problem is the ones that expect a cut once in a relationship or after a break up, even if they didn't contribute. Sounds like your assets are self sufficient & don't need your care.
CarrieT Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Pharmaceutical business... ie, you are a drug dealer? 76k a month and you are only 23?? I'm guessing "medical marijuana." I've got friends and business contacts in the ACTUAL pharmaceutical (i.e., medical) business. They all have advanced degrees in chemistry and business which means they are all older than 23.
joseb Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Sorry this story is too far-fetched and full of cliches to be believable. 2
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Well, maybe an explanation would clear it all? Family business handed down by my parents. I wonder why it's hard to believe, just I know some of my friends do better than me. Also I forgot to mention we had a time when we were long distanced because of my work. Yes I did hide it deliberately because my parents said especially my mom, to be careful of women who might want me because of material things, so. But of course not all women even men. I guess it's not important to talk about it too much to her because it's not important to me. Important to me is finding the right person who will truly love me. Also, I never do bad business. I pay my tax well, donate to orphans, donate to schools, and I love helping people. If it's hard to believe... believe first in God... and all will make sense. Trust me. Thank you for your replies but sad that some of you maybe right about her but I don't know just I love her really tsk.
nescafe1982 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Why be with a girl who spent months chatting up other boys and was acting shady towards you? I don't see how your assets come into play here. She was acting poorly towards you before you told her you're rich. My guess is that no matter how 'nice' she is now, there are still signs of trouble now. OP, why do you love her? Can you reflect on that? What attributes drew you to her?
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Why do I love her? Because I love her.
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 And also I did not use my possessions to get her, never did. First 5 months only about us being silly on simple things like playing games on our phones, making funny faces, etc, no "I have this, let me show you this." Nothing. I tried to make her stay after 5th or 6th month when she is really breaking up with me and I don't want. So like I said in my original post "out of stupid desperation" I repeat... stupid... desperation. We all do crazy things when in love even breaking our rules. And that's what happened to me. And to be honest, sometimes I regret doing it. Now I think it's better for her to leave me that time than for her to stay because of reasons not of true love. For all of you who might think this is not true, it is true. It is not cliche, maybe I'm naive but it is true.
nescafe1982 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Why do I love her? Because I love her. That's not a great answer. What do you love about her? She's a person full of complexities, quirks, desires. Not a plate of nachos. I'm being a bit sarcastic/snarky here... but seriously, OP, what qualities does she have that you admire, are attracted to, that you love? Reflecting on these is not an empty exercise. It can help you think about your priorities as you move forward with her... or not. 1
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Should there be a reason why? I'll be honest... I don't have a reason. Just everytime I see her it makes me happiest. And when she's sad... it burns me. And I want to always make her happy. Well... I can't think straight when I'm with her, I feel really happy, that's all. And in our first months... she really did an effort, even more than me, to make me happy too. I really don't know... I'm confused. Oh and she is my first so. That might help.
aussietigerwolf Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 She was horrible to you before she found out your stuff and now she's acting like the perfect gf? Umm... Yeah... Sounds like its your stuff she likes sorry to say.
h0000 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Why do I love her? Because I love her. Should there be a reason why? I'll be honest... I don't have a reason. Just everytime I see her it makes me happiest. And when she's sad... it burns me. And I want to always make her happy. Well... I can't think straight when I'm with her, I feel really happy, that's all. And in our first months... she really did an effort, even more than me, to make me happy too. I really don't know... I'm confused. Oh and she is my first so. That might help. Why am I stupid? Because I am stupid. Should there be a reason why? I'll be honest... I don't have a reason. When Im stupid and don't face the fact, it makes me happiest. And when I see the truth... it burns me.. Well I don't want to go on OP and to make it concise yes she is in it for your things, assuming you are not trolling
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 How I hide? Most of my property are in another country. And I didn't behaved suspiciously. Maybe hide is a bit of a strong word, maybe avoid talking about it from her part and my part contributed to her not knowing everything. And when if the topic brought up, I just say a few words about it. I met her and we became friends and I told her before that I am aware of women wanting things, etc. Just a casual talk. And maybe because of that, early in the relationship, she did not talk about more of what I do and etc. And plus I avoid to talk about it too. But she knows I work with medicines and I study engineering, early months but that is all. Mostly we talk about how much we love each other, about life, our future as a couple, faith, my family and hers, dreams, etc. And she does not let me break up with her, and I can't leave without her permission because it is rude for me. Sighs... this is getting a long story. I just needed an advice and most I get is not believe... I don't get it, it's not my problem if you don't believe, I know myself, maybe it's best to just keep it to myself than post. But thank you for everyone who did contribute. I will consider.
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 Why am I stupid? Because I am stupid. Should there be a reason why? I'll be honest... I don't have a reason. When Im stupid and don't face the fact, it makes me happiest. And when I see the truth... it burns me.. Well I don't want to go on OP and to make it concise yes she is in it for your things, assuming you are not trolling I don't get this. Don't compare two different things. Trolling? I don't even have time to know how to do it. I went here to get advice, that's all. Okay... maybe she is like that, I'll keep that in mind just in case.
h0000 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 I don't get this. Don't compare two different things. Trolling? I don't even have time to know how to do it. I went here to get advice, that's all. Okay... maybe she is like that, I'll keep that in mind just in case. "Maybe" she's like that? The fact that you made it sound so obvious that she is in it for your money and everyone else here is also telling you she is in it for your money yet you keep denying she is in it for your money makes me thing this has got to be trolling. 1
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 I read all replies. And I am really naive because I have no relationship experiences before her and I don't know what is best for me. Everyone here made a point. And I apologize for being immature. I guess it's time to go reflect it well. Thank you everyone. I needed this.
Author californiabro Posted September 1, 2015 Author Posted September 1, 2015 "Maybe" she's like that? The fact that you made it sound so obvious that she is in it for your money and everyone else here is also telling you she is in it for your money yet you keep denying she is in it for your money makes me thing this has got to be trolling. I am not trolling. Sorry, maybe I kept denying that made it sound as if I'm trolling. No I'm not. It is fine to keep this topic closed, it is enough. I guess my problem is I kept denying the fact she does not really truly love me. Maybe I don't know what love truly looks like because she is my first. Maybe I don't know if I truly love her because based from one who replied here that I should reflect on what I love about her and about your comparison on stupidity and my idea of love. Maybe you're right... I will talk to her about it soon. All this replies really helped. Topic closed. 1
Maggie4 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Cal-bro it's not that I don't believe, actually I HAVE hidden my assets and it was not easy! But I'm much older so I am supposed to have "stuff". I would totally believe you got all that stuff from your family, parents. If you got that rich on your own starting with nothing, then your gf should be able to google your name and find an article about you, complete with a photo of the tall handsome young man. So sooner or later, she'd know anyway.
Maggie4 Posted September 1, 2015 Posted September 1, 2015 Sorry I replied after you tried to close topic. I'll tell you a lot of girls are gold diggers in some cultures. They chase after young men from rich families, instead of old men with money. So yes, maybe your suspicion is correct. I've seen a lot of that.
Author californiabro Posted September 2, 2015 Author Posted September 2, 2015 (edited) Update Had a very serious talk with her about both of our concerns. We gave a whole day for this in a calm and private setting. Because we both know there are deep problems that needed to be cleared. I was very understanding, patient, gentle, civil, and respectful all the time and as best as I could and never over react. Well, I found out she cheated on me in those two early months because she said she was not sure of me and she thought I would leave her like all the guys she had in the past. Her reasons were not enough and I believe never will be. It was a blow to the heart. I can't expain it more. It is so painful. Two things made me more upset than her cheated on me. One is losing the one I love, her. And two, I feel sad for her. It was painful to watch her cry so much and tell me she is so sorry and explained that she never done it again, that she completely stopped when she realized I am the love of her life. I want to believe it but it is hard to trust her, even I want to. And also I can't let this easily pass, she needs to learn her lesson for her own sake and others who will have a relationship with her. Oh and I asked her about if she got more interested because of money, etc I have and she said no everytime. Well, true or not, my trust I gave her is broken. As I was always faithful to her in mind and heart and in my actions, but she didn't. Ending is I asked her if I can just be a friend and nothing more. Or me leave her completely. She really begged for me to stay in a relationship with her. But I don't know I need time. So she agreed on just friends. Well it's what I secretly want her to pick because I still love her. I forgave her but best to follow what's right when one cheated. So we're friends now. And easy for me to move on because I am so busy now. Anyways, I'm single and cleaning myself emotionally, spiritually, and mentally to be fair for the right girl for me in the future, a year of this should be enough. I still check on her to make sure she does not do anything stupid and tell her to focus on making herself happy without me and be careful and avoid on bad men who just wants to use her body, etc. Anyways, I think it went well... but we're both still very upset really. There will always be pain I guess. Okay so thanks everyone for reading and those who replied, appreciated. Thread Closed. Edited September 2, 2015 by californiabro
Recommended Posts