Riptide91 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Hey all, So recently I've started to date a girl and we've decided to become official. Anyways, things are seeming to go really well, and we get a long great. The only thing is sometimes when we go out together and drink she says things about us she wouldn't normally say sober. Things about the future, her feelings about me, etc. These things do not bother me, in fact, I actually like that she thinks about where this might go, however the next day or when she is sober she is much more closed off and doesn't seem to have the same level of interest. I can tell she still likes being with me but it's kind of confusing because sometimes she's "hot" and sometimes she's "cold". Anyone know why she'd be like this? I know she has been hurt badly by her last boyfriend so maybe she's still a little scared to trust someone. Just curious, sometimes it makes my brain hurt because I don't know if I should say the things she says to me drunk when we're both sober. Thanks!!
La.Primavera Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 It does sound like she has trouble opening up when she is sober which could mean she is just reserved by nature or it could be trust issues from being hurt in the past like you said. Either way I think it is important to try to increase your communication with her. If you are willing to express your own emotions and feelings with her she might feel more comfortable doing the same. Express an interest in knowing more about her while you are spending time together sober. The more she shares the better. Good luck.
Author Riptide91 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Does she show other signs of having a drinking problem? She may be distant because she can't remember what she said or did...self protection - in case you're mad at her. Does her past indicate she's done this before? Did it ruin past relationships? It's not like we go get drunk everytime we hang out it just happens to be when we are out that some of these things come out, I wouldn't say she or I have a drinking problem at all. She always remembers the things we did, and we've talked about a few of the things we've said so I don't think that's it. No not at all. I feel as though it's like a self defense mechanism, where she actually feels that way about me but doesn't want to get hurt. Just wanted opinions.
Author Riptide91 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 It does sound like she has trouble opening up when she is sober which could mean she is just reserved by nature or it could be trust issues from being hurt in the past like you said. Either way I think it is important to try to increase your communication with her. If you are willing to express your own emotions and feelings with her she might feel more comfortable doing the same. Express an interest in knowing more about her while you are spending time together sober. The more she shares the better. Good luck. This is good advice, thank you. I will try to do that and see where it goes. She's a good person and I can tell that she seems to be genuine at least in my mind.
GemmaUK Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Sounds pretty normal to me. People open up more when having a drink and I suspect you do also. Are you talking to her about future, feelings etc while you are both sober the next day and she is just blanking you or something? If you are not speaking about these things the next day then you are doing the same as she is. Life would get dull if that was the only subjects you talked about though.
Recommended Posts