Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Well, as I mentioned before I was going to try the whole NC with my EX. It's not a world record but it's been 2 days since I've talked him, emailed or text messaged him (him the same to me). I'm starting to realize that talking to him brings up mixed feelings that I've been trying to ignore. I've come to a decision of enforcing NC and so far it's helped me a lot. When I talk to him he just reminds me every minute of how he's changed and how much he wants to look into my eyes and tell me how beautiful I am. He wants to "show" me that he's changed and he's more mature and understands the true meaning of love. But, it's to late. I sucks that I had to be the one to break his heart. I care about him so much and I want nothing but the best for him. I want him to find a girl to take care of him and love him the way he should be loved. I wish I can have a friendship with him but I CAN'T! I don't want to give him the wrong idea or hope that we will get back together. I miss him but not as a boyfriend, as a friend. We use to have good times together and laugh so much. I don't regret the decision I made because I know in my heart I reached the highest possible love for him. I need to stay focused right now and so does he. It's going to be a journey but I'm willing to take it...It's what he needs to move on. So, if you're wondering whether NC works... IT DOES!!
Mz. Pixie Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 NSN- Is this the younger guy? What happened to Lorenzo?? Wasn't that his name? How is that going?
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Is this the younger guy? Yeah, the one I wrote about is the young guy.. Lozano...Well I'm first trying to deal with my EX and getting those feelings out of the way. We're taking it slow and I'm enjoying every moment with him. I like him as a boyfriend more and more each day. I'm starting to see him in a different light...not just as a my best friend..
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Keep it up NSN! It will get easier. Sooner or later you'll forget about him b/c your more into Lorenzo. Then he will just be a faded memory. Delete him from your phone, AIM buddy list, email contacts. Just so that there is nothing there that will make him pop into your head! Good luck and keep it up!
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Just so that there is nothing there that will make him pop into your head! Well, that's really hard to do when his brother is going out with my roommate/best friend. But it's working out ok...!
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 You're a heartbreaker NSN. Can't blame the guy for trying.
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 You're a heartbreaker NSN. Can't blame the guy for trying. NO please don't lable me as that...it hurts!! I'm not a heartbreaker...I'm a heart let gower, so he can be happier...
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Oh I was just kidding. But let me ask you this: do you think letting him go is making him happier? My ex gave me the same line and I know it's a comforting thought, but do you really mean it? It seems when people say that what they mean is "I don't want to make you happy anymore. I want to make someone else happy." What do you think?
SinceIvebeenlovingU Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I'll chime in here... Its sad to see the love of another die...but NSN your doing the best thing in your heart u can find to do...I mean sure he will feel hurt...but right now...since my ex didn't contact me on my bday (yay)...I have no hope to hear from her again...and that is sorta a relief...although i did dream of her last night...i think its better this way...because i could never be her friend...your doing alright
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Those are really good question...Let's see if I can help?? I let him go because I didn't love him the way he loved me. I found it unfair to be in a relatioship that was one sided. We were date for 8 months...it's a long time but to me it's not at the same time. Of course right now he's not happy, but I'm giving him the opportunity to move on instead of staying with me and living a lie. I didn't want to use him, what kind of person would I be if I stayed in a relationship just to make him happy...Not me! I truly from the bottom of my heart as hard as it may be, mean every single word. Like I said before he's an awessome guy...just not for me. I can't tell you that's what you EX felt but it's what I feel. I would never tell him " I don't want to make you happy, I want to make someone else happy"...what is that??? I just know my feelings for him were more of a friendship, he made me feel good about myself after a really bad berak up...He showed how to smile again...and for that I'll always love him.
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I know that's how my ex feels too.. and I can tell you I was relieved when I finally stopped trying. All the energy and time I was wasting- it is sad, but it is right. You and I know that in our hearts even if it truly sucks!!! You can't live a lie, that's the truth and relationships are so fragile it's hard to tell when and where they start to take a turn for the worst. It's hard to be on the receiving end, it's also hard to be on the giving end. It could just be timing. Love comes and goes. The truth hits harder and leaves a mark, but when you accept it and work with it good things happen. NSN you hit the mark. But do you feel that this guy was always just a comfort zone (rebound, sorry for lack of a better word) after your last breakup, or did you really feel it at the beginning and then those feelings faded?
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 NSN you hit the mark. But do you feel that this guy was always just a comfort zone (rebound, sorry for lack of a better word) after your last breakup, or did you really feel it at the beginning and then those feelings faded? I was crazy about him at the beginning. He was such a fun guy and I was way over my ex before we broke up. My ex and I had a very hard, horrible relationship...It took me 3 months to get out! So when I finally met my EX I was so happy. He made me look at life in a different light and I love him for that. I care deeply for him and wish him nothing but the best. He was in a rebound too believe it or not. We both broke up with our EX's at the same time. He was in a 1 and 7 month relationship and I was in a 2 year almost married... So, if technically we were both each other comfort zone from the misery we were in. But not a rebound! We found joy in each other, nothing more, nothing less.
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 It just sounds like a great relationship- reminds me of my ex- so, I don't mean to pry , but then why did you come to the conclusion that he wasn't for you? Destiny? Wasn't it worth the effort?
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 why did you come to the conclusion that he wasn't for you? Destiny? Wasn't it worth the effort The first reason: I'm 23 he's 19...I asked myself "Do I love him enough to wait for him to start his life and wait"?? I cried my eyes out that night because my answer was NO! I wasn't willing to wait for him..BY the time he graduates I'll be 28...Do you know how much I want accomplished by that time...I just couldn't! I don't regret being with him and all my energy and efforts to try and make it work was because I cared about him so much and loved him...just not the same way he loved me. He still has a lot to experience and I wasn't willing to wait...bottom line is, we're both in two different places in our lives.
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Maybe you'll meet again someday and walk off into the sunset. Does the sun ever set in Florida?
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Maybe you'll meet again someday and walk off into the sunset. Does the sun ever set in Florida? Mabye...life has a funny way of working out. Yes the sun sets in FL...
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Not talking to him has been a relief in some ways because I'm able to concentrate on other things that are going on in my life. I'm starting to let go and sounds harsh but it feels good. I'm able to think more clearly now about what is I want
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 That's awesome. Letting go is a good thing. When it's right, it'll come again. I'm not one to jump from relatinship to relationship- doesn't sound like you are either (my ex is that way) I guess it's her way of coping. It's sad, once again, to have to let go, but that's life. They always have a strange way of coming back around when you least expect it though, for good or bad!
greenhorn Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 What happened with the guy was definitely not good, but atleast NSN is doing good to let him see the truth. He wants to be friends only to have a dangling hope and when that will go it will hurt more. So the earlier he reconciles to the fact the better it will be. The best way to get out of pain is to go through it. He will cry for some days, will feel low for few months, but he is young and will get company of beautiful ppls and would someday find a heartfelt companion. But he has to try for it and he won't try until he comes out of the present vortex so definitely you are correct in doing NC. May god give him strength, if possible pass him the URL of LS, we will take care of him.
Author Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 Hey greenie...How are ya? Yeah I know what you mean. I've been heart broken before and look at me now, moved on and dealing with other bulls***...
greenhorn Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 I am fine, thanks NSN. You came alone in this world and you have to go alone from this world. You didn't bring anything with you and you won't take anything with you. All this relations, love, friends, enemies are nothing but figments of our imagination. The salvation shall come with detachment. There is action in every inaction and inaction in every action. Do you work and don't worry about the result.
outdated Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 wow Greenhorn! That was quite a bit of wisdom. You are a cultured and knowledgable person. Acheiving another tier of existence?
Pocky Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn I am fine, thanks NSN. You came alone in this world and you have to go alone from this world. You didn't bring anything with you and you won't take anything with you. All this relations, love, friends, enemies are nothing but figments of our imagination. The salvation shall come with detachment. There is action in every inaction and inaction in every action. Do you work and don't worry about the result. You change your religion, Green?
greenhorn Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by outdated wow Greenhorn! That was quite a bit of wisdom. You are a cultured and knowledgable person. Acheiving another tier of existence? No dude , I just messed with Bhagvad Gita, trying to remember some verses of it but can't, don't have the book either. As far as I remember it has some chapters on relationships, I am doing google , if only I find it. Well the eight middle path of Gautam Buddha is also very valid. The enlightment that Buddha got was that " Desire is the root cause of all Evil" and to kill desire follow the middle path.
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