Orije Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Hello love shack! C: I just have a quick question I would like to ask you to make things easier. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 months now. Everything is wonderful and we are very happy. There is a little thing that I do that makes her so mad and I kinda get why, but at the same time it makes my life easier. She uses twitter and is obsessed with it. Whenever she is mad or frustrated she won't tell me what is wrong and I have to constantly be nice and help her feel better. I would like it if she was open to tell me what I did wrong or to have her rant to me, but instead she uses twitter to say her problems and rant. Also on her twitter nobody knows who she is so they can't judge her. The thing is she gets furious with me for checking her twitter so I can figure out what's making her so angry so I can comfort her. She said she uses it to rant and doesn't want me seeing it. For example i was texting a friend about her relationship problem and yes she can get around and sleeps with random people but she is only a friend and i even show my girlfriend the texts i send. My girlfriend is on her phone and i was guessing it was twitter so i checked and she put, "Why is my boyfriend always talking to his slut friend or does he want something more?" I saw this and confronted her and told her if she didnt want me talking to my friend then i will stop and blocked my friend. My girlfriend felt bad and told me not to. Am I wrong for checking her twitter to see what's making her upset? I'm an honest and open guy so I can tell her anything and will do everything I can to make her feel better.
Maggie4 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 I think you should not read her twitter, and if you do, don't take it seriously. Sometimes a person might rant and then just forget it the next day. If you take it seriously, and you act on it, you will make it into a bigger problem than it was. Also, she can say anything on twitter for fun. She can role play or whatever, since no one knows her. It is the furthest thing from confiding in someone.
Author Orije Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Ah I see! Thank you very much for your response
Versacehottie Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Hello love shack! C: I just have a quick question I would like to ask you to make things easier. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 months now. Everything is wonderful and we are very happy. There is a little thing that I do that makes her so mad and I kinda get why, but at the same time it makes my life easier. She uses twitter and is obsessed with it. Whenever she is mad or frustrated she won't tell me what is wrong and I have to constantly be nice and help her feel better. I would like it if she was open to tell me what I did wrong or to have her rant to me, but instead she uses twitter to say her problems and rant. Also on her twitter nobody knows who she is so they can't judge her. The thing is she gets furious with me for checking her twitter so I can figure out what's making her so angry so I can comfort her. She said she uses it to rant and doesn't want me seeing it. For example i was texting a friend about her relationship problem and yes she can get around and sleeps with random people but she is only a friend and i even show my girlfriend the texts i send. My girlfriend is on her phone and i was guessing it was twitter so i checked and she put, "Why is my boyfriend always talking to his slut friend or does he want something more?" I saw this and confronted her and told her if she didnt want me talking to my friend then i will stop and blocked my friend. My girlfriend felt bad and told me not to. Am I wrong for checking her twitter to see what's making her upset? I'm an honest and open guy so I can tell her anything and will do everything I can to make her feel better. Wow, that's a double standard and hypocritical. Your gf is being really immature. First she should talk to you about problems she is having with you. Second, not cool to try to prohibit you from looking at her twitter for whatever reason. You're her boyfriend. So she can talk publicly about your problems as a couple or allude to them (140 characters only) and do little digs so she feels better. She can put down your friends? That's rude and just going to start a lot of drama. I think she needs to grow out of this. If she couldn't it would be a dealbreaker. Tell her how hurtful it is and what you expect her to do (talk to you so you can resolve problems) in order to continue. Good luck 1
KatZee Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Wait... wait. She blasts her personal business on a public website, hides it from you- all under the false pretense that she just wants to "rant", meanwhile she's bad mouth's YOU on it, and she thinks she has the right to complain about anything YOU do? Yes. I think you absolutely should keep looking at it, who knows what she can wind up saying about you, or putting out about YOU on there on the internet for anyone to read. And how dare she call a friend of yours a "slut"?? This is how you allow your girlfriend to treat people you call friends? I'm sorry, you are no friend, and you're nothing but a doormat to your girlfriend. She says jump, you ask how high. You really just threw out a friend, friends who will always be around, for some psycho chick you've been dating for 5 months who acts shady as all hell? Bad move, buddy. Bad move. Her Twitter account is absolutely something to take seriously. She is shaming people and I'm sure if you can see it, other people she knows, and you know, can see it too. Posting about how your friend who sleeps around is a "slut" is not role playing. That's her shaming your friend, and passive aggressively putting problems out there for strangers to read and comment on???? WHO DOES THIS???! This would be a deal breaker for me. 110%. She has no idea how to communicate, is immature, rude, and disrespectful. Not just to you, but people in your life. 3
Author Orije Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Thank you and I understand what you mean. She did that about a month ago and hasn't said anything about me on twitter since then. She told me she doesn't put anything up on it because I might see it. Her friends wouldn't know its her, I know because her twitter went off and I seen the name of the account which she uses as a fan page for bands. She doesn't have many followers and nobody really likes or comments so I guess she rants off to herself? If I'm upset I say it or make sure to get over it. I just wished she was more open. She only got mad today because I quoted something she said that said "who cares about reading a book for college when you can watch the VMA" I thought it was a little funny she said it but not to her cause I was in her privacy.
ChicagoSparty Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 OP, unless you guys are in 7th grade, this isn't good. Bad things loom on the horizon if you stay with her. I'll bet the house on it. 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 The bigger issue here is you need to get her to communicate with you. If she is frustrated about something you did she needs to talk yo you. At the same time you might be coming off to her as defensive when she brings something up. You need to let her way what's on her mind without confrontation about it. Do you follow her on twitter? You need to look at her twitter account as her diary. Maybe try to ask her to do a diary instead of twitter. Does she also do this on Facebook? Communication is critical in a relationship. 1
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 ...........and will do everything I can to make her feel better. There's your problem. You would ditch a friend for a girlfriend of 5 months? really? What she is doing is extremely immature. She is not into being in a relationship with you. She's into having someone to call a 'boyfriend'. How old is she? 1
Author Orije Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Thank you everyone. No I do not follower her I just check the page at the posts. She is 19 and I should get her a diary or tell her she should put her thoughts into a note pad on her phone then delete it to make herself feel better. I always say communication is the best thing in the relationship to her. She says it takes her awhile to open up and says what's on her mind to me but could easily post it on Twitter. I told her it pisses me off and she doesn't do it anymore. Things have been so much better since then and I won't ever do what I did to my friend again. I realized my mistake and even apologized to my friend. Its so much better now, but I just wanted to ask about it being too private or was I right to look. Thank you
joseb Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 She uses twitter and is obsessed with it. Whenever she is mad or frustrated she won't tell me what is wrong and I have to constantly be nice and help her feel better. I would like it if she was open to tell me what I did wrong or to have her rant to me, but instead she uses twitter to say her problems and rant. Also on her twitter nobody knows who she is so they can't judge her. The main problem I see is that she won;t communicate with you. You say " Everything is wonderful and we are very happy." It certainly does not sound like this is the case, if she is mad so often and feels the need to rant on twitter, and wont talk to you about it. Badmouthing you like that is also very disrespectful. You are young (I assume, as she is 19?) - if I were you I'd explore other options.
Qboro90 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Just flat out tell her . "I'm your boyfriend.... I'm literally telling you that it's ok and I want you to tell me what's bothering you or what you're upset/angry/annoyed at so that I can actually be a good boyfriend and work through those problems together" . Simply ask her and word it in a way that she will feel silly/embarrassed for having such an open BF who wants to hear out what bothers her so you can fix it together. If she puts up a fight about it then you can go on the offensive. Tell her that if she is just going to ignore and purposely keep these things to herself so that she can bitch, complain, and rant to strangers on Twitter then you will need to re evaluate things with her. Even if no one knows it's her in Twitter or its anonymous, you know. You can see that she's airing your personal affairs on a public forum. And if she gets mad at you for looking at it... Then you have even more leverage. "So you're actually mad at me because it hurts my feelings and makes me uncomfortable to know you are publicly ranting about me and Us on Twitter?" And instead of talking to me and allowing me to try and compromise or fix things, you're telling me to just not read your posts. That makes me feel much better. By doing that you're saying "I want to talk about you and what you do that upsets me behind your back,,,, how dare you want to look at that stuff?!" She's an immature girl that's all. You can put her in her place about it, or be the mature guy and try and help her see that she's being childish.
Vercetti Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 I thought relationships worked by being a team and honest. Maybe ranting on social networks for strangers and getting ticked at significant other for reading what's viewable to the public is a better way.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Thank you everyone. No I do not follower her I just check the page at the posts. She is 19 and I should get her a diary or tell her she should put her thoughts into a note pad on her phone then delete it to make herself feel better. I always say communication is the best thing in the relationship to her. She says it takes her awhile to open up and says what's on her mind to me but could easily post it on Twitter. I told her it pisses me off and she doesn't do it anymore. Things have been so much better since then and I won't ever do what I did to my friend again. I realized my mistake and even apologized to my friend. Its so much better now, but I just wanted to ask about it being too private or was I right to look. Thank you How so? She blasts your problems all over the internet. That is not good communication and she needs to grow the heck up.
coryreply Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 There is a healthier way for her to deal with her frustrations in the relationship. Good communication starts with trust. Does she trust you? If strong trust is there, she should feel comfortable coming to you and having a conversation about she's feeling. BTW, nothing annoys me more than people ranting all the time on social media. SMH. It's awful.
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