jam67 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) As I just got in here, I looked to see the last time I was on this site. It was August 18th, which further reiterates the fact that I should write this post. It's been a long ****ty and strange summer. My ex and I broke up a little over 3 months ago after being together for 1.5 years or so. It was extremely tough, and I was in a dark place for the past couple months. I haven't talked to her since the break up, despite her repeated attempts to contact me, including one really emotional message about 4 weeks, in which I think she was trying to reconnect. The point being, those contacts set me back, and it was mainly bc I was too weak to block her. Although I never responded to them, it ****ed wih my head. But, I am glad to say, after blocking her, and lots of time, I have really started to move on. My friends even said to me recently "you don't seem so butt hurt anymore". Lol. I've learned a lot about myself this summer, and have started to date again. I signed up for Internet dating, and it's been a great confidence boost. I wanted to thank everyone on here for all the support I've receieved, mainly though lurking. I want to say that all of you will get through this. There are still sometimes in the day when I think about her, or miss her, but at the end of my pondering I always realize that after almost 100 days of not talking to her, I don't even really know her anymore. And her memory starts to fade. And the crippling anxiety and sadness isn't really there at all anymore. Listen to what people say on this site, don't talk to them, use NC to fix yourself. It's tough, so ****ing tough, but in the end, it's an amazing way to move and get back to yourself. It worked for me, and it can work for you. Let yourself grieve, use this site as a tool and outlet. And for the love of God, use NC. I know I'd be at square one if I ever started talking to her again over this summer. I'm sure I'll be back on here from time to time. And although I'm not 100% there in my healing. I'd say I'm about 90% at least. It will work for everyone. Good luck to all! Keep your head up! Raise a glass to saying "**** our exes and their head games, we're all better than that" Edited August 31, 2015 by jam67 7
Gus Grimly Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Glad to hear you made it past the storm and are on the fast track to a better future. I agree dating or just going out with someone itself is better than any medication or therapy. I've been out on a few dates now and it really does boost your confidence. It washes the bad after taste your Ex left behind away. Minty fresh! 3
Author jam67 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Glad to hear you made it past the storm and are on the fast track to a better future. I agree dating or just going out with someone itself is better than any medication or therapy. I've been out on a few dates now and it really does boost your confidence. It washes the bad after taste your Ex left behind away. Minty fresh! I agree completely. I think starting to date again has been the best way to really move forward. I went on two dates close after the break up, and that was tough, I mainly just compared them to her. But getting back out there after a couple months off has been awesome. I had two dates last week and going out with the same girls again this week. It's been great for me. It's like "oh yeah, women do like me, and there other women out there, lots and lots of them." 3
Seth0194 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 As I just got in here, I looked to see the last time I was on this site. It was August 18th, which further reiterates the fact that I should write this post. It's been a long ****ty and strange summer. My ex and I broke up a little over 3 months ago after being together for 1.5 years or so. It was extremely tough, and I was in a dark place for the past couple months. I haven't talked to her since the break up, despite her repeated attempts to contact me, including one really emotional message about 4 weeks, in which I think she was trying to reconnect. The point being, those contacts set me back, and it was mainly bc I was too weak to block her. Although I never responded to them, it ****ed wih my head. But, I am glad to say, after blocking her, and lots of time, I have really started to move on. My friends even said to me recently "you don't seem so butt hurt anymore". Lol. I've learned a lot about myself this summer, and have started to date again. I signed up for Internet dating, and it's been a great confidence boost. I wanted to thank everyone on here for all the support I've receieved, mainly though lurking. I want to say that all of you will get through this. There are still sometimes in the day when I think about her, or miss her, but at the end of my pondering I always realize that after almost 100 days of not talking to her, I don't even really know her anymore. And her memory starts to fade. And the crippling anxiety and sadness isn't really there at all anymore. Listen to what people say on this site, don't talk to them, use NC to fix yourself. It's tough, so ****ing tough, but in the end, it's an amazing way to move and get back to yourself. It worked for me, and it can work for you. Let yourself grieve, use this site as a tool and outlet. And for the love of God, use NC. I know I'd be at square one if I ever started talking to her again over this summer. I'm sure I'll be back on here from time to time. And although I'm not 100% there in my healing. I'd say I'm about 90% at least. It will work for everyone. Good luck to all! Keep your head up! Raise a glass to saying "**** our exes and their head games, we're all better than that" Thanks for sharing and goodfor you. (Post of the year) 1
aloneinaz Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Nice post OP! Glad to see you on the down hill side. When I was on this site after my ex dumped me, I really understood how valuable going NC was to healing and moving forward. I learned so much and it only reinforced my FIRM belief that I'd NEVER contact her again, and didn't. Going NC and healing made me recover enough to start dating 6 weeks post break up. I say it all the time as it was the BEST thing I could of done to repair my self esteem, ego and reinforced that there's plenty of gals that would love to have me in their life. I then met my now 2 year GF a few months later. Gus, how'd the date go?
Author jam67 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Nice post OP! Glad to see you on the down hill side. When I was on this site after my ex dumped me, I really understood how valuable going NC was to healing and moving forward. I learned so much and it only reinforced my FIRM belief that I'd NEVER contact her again, and didn't. Going NC and healing made me recover enough to start dating 6 weeks post break up. I say it all the time as it was the BEST thing I could of done to repair my self esteem, ego and reinforced that there's plenty of gals that would love to have me in their life. I then met my now 2 year GF a few months later. Gus, how'd the date go? Thank you, I've read some of your original posts about your ex. Sounds similar to mine. Glad we are both making it out alive. Thanks for the love. Also, I've read Gus's threads. You've been through the ****ter man. Hope all is improving on your end. 1
Gus Grimly Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Also, I've read Gus's threads. You've been through the ****ter man. Hope all is improving on your end. Thank you!! Yeah, it was bad. I've come clean to my close friends and family and it's been just as hard on them to know everything I went through. My Ex is a piece of work. I saw my mom yesterday and she said I'm acting and sounding better than she's ever seen me. She said that not only am I back but better than before. Hearing that made me feel so good. I had no idea how lost I was for so long, my Ex had sucked all the life out of me and then smashed the empty shell. Thanks for posting this thread, it's inspiring to those who lurk these forums looking for some solidarity in the midsts of their loss and grief. 3
Author jam67 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Glad you guys appreciate the post. Honestly this site has played a large role in getting over my two toughest break ups. And I didn't find until about a month into my first break up back in the day. And I was doing everything wrong, and it set me back a ton, so, I learned my lesson this time around. My main reason for wanting to post it because I feel like we all come on here and look for similar stories to our own, and ways to cope, even ways to get them back, and it gets to be consuming. Sometimes I feel we all lose sight of what the real purpose of this site is, to not need it anymore haha, and to get back out there and live. But I am grateful for all it has does for me mentally. So I figured I'd try to throw out a little inspiration. 1
BriNyc82 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Glad you guys appreciate the post. Honestly this site has played a large role in getting over my two toughest break ups. And I didn't find until about a month into my first break up back in the day. And I was doing everything wrong, and it set me back a ton, so, I learned my lesson this time around. My main reason for wanting to post it because I feel like we all come on here and look for similar stories to our own, and ways to cope, even ways to get them back, and it gets to be consuming. Sometimes I feel we all lose sight of what the real purpose of this site is, to not need it anymore haha, and to get back out there and live. But I am grateful for all it has does for me mentally. So I figured I'd try to throw out a little inspiration. There are so many people on here who have been instrumental in my progress. It will be sad when my love shack days are outnumbered but looking forward to finally being happy again 2
AlurOne Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 It's great to read something like this. Thanks for sharing.
Gus Grimly Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 There are so many people on here who have been instrumental in my progress. It will be sad when my love shack days are outnumbered but looking forward to finally being happy again You deserve to be happy, we all do. Getting to know you a little bit from all the posts that you've made, I can tell you have a strong moral character. I truly hope you'll one day find someone who is deserving of it. You will be happy again Bri. Good, honest people like you and I ... it's our chance now. We've paid our dues, I think it's about time, doncha think? 1
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