Zippy2000 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Zippy, out of curiosity, in that 4 years, why did you keep in touch with her since you have decided to let her go? I'm also assuming you've let go of other girls you weren't quite interested in, so from a guy's perspective, would you make contact with these girls months or up to a year later? And why? Why I decided to keep in touch with her? Good question. After the time I got to know her we became close friends. We kept in touch because she made it clear it was nothing else but just friends. I went along with it because she is an attractive woman. The thing about her was she was different and she would text me good mornings and asking what I was up to and keeping in touch. About a month after she decided to call it quits with me and she was still contacting me. I figured she was genuine, and do you know what? She is the ONLY girl from OLD that has become a friend. Last week I went to her home town and I did flirt with her and ask if she would put on a dress. She did! She also paid for my dinner and drinks. When she comes over to my town I do the same and pay for her. We got closer over time. People ask why I don`t go out with her. Alas. Its been 4 years and my feelings for her have changed. They`re not there anymore. The other question you asked Jet. I had one date with another girl from Match. It wasnt the best date but I dod like her. We went to a cocktail bar and we got on. I asked for a second date but her reply didnt have enough interest at the time. I figured she was very luke warm. I let her go and decided to date other girls from OLD. Thats the problem. OLD has too many choices and I was alike a kid in a large sweet shop. I didnt know what to choose. Anyway fast forward a year! Ys a year I saw her on OLD again and message her and we had a second date. I definitely liked her on the second date. I believed she put more effort on the second date in terms of looks. She had changed her appearance and was more confident. It didnt work out as she faded and next I learned on FaceBK, she had got engaged and married! Why did I get in contact? She had left me alone and I was curious what happened and wanted to take off where we left off. You see, if she had begged and started to chase me. It would have been a turn off. All this causes history and if you become too needy. Thats all the person would ever remind you of. Since she had left things as they were. We went back to see if there was any chemistry. 1
Redhead14 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 No I did not suggest to *play* independent....how about learn to just **BE** more independent, that might help. (Not you specifically Gaeta). I also said to reach out ONCE (did you miss that?) and if he does not respond then move on. As far as being busy, yes sometimes I was genuinely busy! Is that not allowed? I did not *pretend* to be busy,.and I do NOT advocate pretending to be busy or pretending anything else. I knew my post was gonna get dissected, twisted and turned into a negative, me playing games, me advising to play games ...etc etc etc, this is precisely why I don't start threads. Ugh. Disappointing. Katie, most people really don't understand that this is not game playing, because they are mired in the idea that they can or actually have "control" over whether or not a guy/woman will be interested enough in them. They think they need to do things, beyond just being themselves, to make it happen. The whole "being busy" thing always gets misconstrued. The trick is to actually have a full life of your own so that you are actually busy sometimes. If you're not actually busy at a particular time and they ask you out, you can go. Just don't drop everything for them. And, in the beginning, if they call you last minute, you don't "pretend" you are busy, you are simply home and relaxing for that day/evening and offer something else. You don't give up your chill time all the time either. 3
Siquijor Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 We end up back at my place and he tells me he want to wait to sleep with me… That sounds like you made the first move. Maybe you were coming on too strong for his liking and the introduction of his friend on the third date was just his way of getting a 'second opinion' so to speak. Anyway, it's not correct behaviour to have friends tagging along on dates. Best to move on.
Zippy2000 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 The whole "being busy" thing always gets misconstrued. The trick is to actually have a full life of your own so that you are actually busy sometimes. If you're not actually busy at a particular time and they ask you out, you can go. Just don't drop everything for them. And, in the beginning, if they call you last minute, you don't "pretend" you are busy, you are simply home and relaxing for that day/evening and offer something else. You don't give up your chill time all the time either. Nah! I disagree. Im with Katie. She isnt game playing. Shes doing "No action" which is by far the best action. Why? It shows your confident. It doesnt leave a "history" of you too getting back together. "The whole "being busy" thing always gets misconstrued. The trick is to actually have a full life of your own so that you are actually busy sometimes"....................errrr, well that`s what keeping busy is. Having your own life. Your stating the exact same thing in one sentence. lol
Redhead14 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Nah! I disagree. Im with Katie. She isnt game playing. Shes doing "No action" which is by far the best action. Why? It shows your confident. It doesnt leave a "history" of you too getting back together. "The whole "being busy" thing always gets misconstrued. The trick is to actually have a full life of your own so that you are actually busy sometimes"....................errrr, well that`s what keeping busy is. Having your own life. Your stating the exact same thing in one sentence. lol It appears you have misunderstood me, I am in complete agreement with Katie.
Zippy2000 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 It appears you have misunderstood me, I am in complete agreement with Katie. Thats why I m disagreeing with you and WITH Katie. You seem to have misunderstood me. lol
joseb Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Thats why I m disagreeing with you and WITH Katie. You seem to have misunderstood me. lol I'm really confused - your posts seem to agree with Redhead and Katie, but you say you are disagreeing with them both? Also your last post to Redhead didn't make and sense - maybe re-read what she wrote. 1
Zippy2000 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Gah! I'm not disagreeing being with both. I'm" with" Katie as I agree with her.
katiegrl Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Gah! I'm not disagreeing being with both. I'm" with" Katie as I agree with her. But Redhead agrees with me...so if you agree with me, then you agree with HER too, right? LOL.... is this the Twilight Zone.... I wonder sometimes. (just kidding!!) 1
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