noodlemonster Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 I've been dating this chef for 7 months. We are both new to relationships since we haven't been in one for a couple years. He works a lot and so when we see each other it's only once a week, after he gets off and he's tired. When we don't see each other we talk on the phone at night when he's on his way home since he has an hour and half drive every day to and from work. But when we do go out we'll either go out to the movies, bowl or try something new but recently we've been watching a movie at his house, hook up and fall asleep since he's trying to save money cause he's going to cancun with his friends in a couple weeks. I don't know if he's losing interest me or he's just busy. I'm worried and scared. He wants me to meet his relatives but I don't know if he tends to do that with all the girls he dates. He told me he doesn't know if he loves me but he likes me a lot enough to want to be with me and spend time with me when he can. Recently he mentioned to me about an old ex female coworker he had and how people would joke that he should date her calling her his girlfriend since they got along son well. He recently said he wanted to hit her up to see how her golf is going since she recently started learning golf from her dad and he wants to play with her dad since he's supposedly really good. My boyfriend is obsessed with golf. He'll always play on his one day off. I'm not sure if I should be jealous and worried. Because after he told me he wanted to hit her up , she messaged him the day after before he even messaged her asking how his diet is going. I told him oh i guess you guys were both thinking about each other and he mentioned that she's our age and still doesn't know what she wants to do. I'm jealous but I'm not trying to show it. Am I overthinking it? Is he losing interest? I know that love takes a while to develop and especially since we barely see each other cause of his job I'm not rushing that he doesn't love me even though he says he has fallen in love with girls after 2 weeks. Some times i feel like I'm a booty call since we just watch netfix and chill after he works but we still talk about other things and go out on dates but I'm just worried...what should I do?
Frank2thepoint Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 He told me he doesn't know if he loves me but he likes me a lot enough to want to be with me and spend time with me when he can. Him admitting this means he doesn't have long term goals with you. He likes your companionship, with all the benefits of it, but he's not serious about you. Recently he mentioned to me about an old ex female coworker he had and how people would joke that he should date her calling her his girlfriend since they got along son well. He recently said he wanted to hit her up to see how her golf is going since she recently started learning golf from her dad and he wants to play with her dad since he's supposedly really good. And this is the reason why he's not seeing you as long term. He's still hung up on some woman that he used to work with. Without explicitly saying it, he just told you who he really wants in the long run. Unfortunately, you're not it. If you feel like a bootycall, then go with your gut feeling, because that is what you are to him. He doesn't sound like he grossly disrespecting you, but he is subconsciously communicating to you that your relationship with him isn't going to last. Of course you should talk to him about all of this and try to work it out, or at least say your peace. Don't stay quiet on the matter.
Maggie4 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 He told you he doesn't know if he loves you? Just out of the blue, or did you ask him? did you tell him you love him? And you're already jealous of his ex. There is imbalance here. Love cannot develop in this environment.
Author noodlemonster Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 He told you he doesn't know if he loves you? Just out of the blue, or did you ask him? did you tell him you love him? And you're already jealous of his ex. There is imbalance here. Love cannot develop in this environment. Well I asked him if he just wanted to have dinner with my parents so they can meet him and he just brought it up on how he doesn't really know what he wants. I think he's worried because my parents are more on the traditional side. He said that I have a lot of qualities he wants in a wife but he's worried that he'll fall to fast before and get hurt. His definition of love is marriage.
Author noodlemonster Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 Him admitting this means he doesn't have long term goals with you. He likes your companionship, with all the benefits of it, but he's not serious about you. And this is the reason why he's not seeing you as long term. He's still hung up on some woman that he used to work with. Without explicitly saying it, he just told you who he really wants in the long run. Unfortunately, you're not it. If you feel like a bootycall, then go with your gut feeling, because that is what you are to him. He doesn't sound like he grossly disrespecting you, but he is subconsciously communicating to you that your relationship with him isn't going to last. Of course you should talk to him about all of this and try to work it out, or at least say your peace. Don't stay quiet on the matter. We just started dating 7 months ago. His definition of love is marriage and we're still in our mid 20s so I'm not sure if it's because he's so busy and confused about work that he can't think about his relationship with me.
edgygirl Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 You're wasting your time. Next. Sorry, when a man doesn't know if he loves you after seven months, specially when the meeting the family talk arises, it means he doesn't see you as long-term. If you are okay with just being around him for now and not interested in long-term, fine. If you are looking for a real partner for the long haul, he's not it.
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