GF cheated and left me for ex

[RIPolaris]

So I met this girl a few months back when she started working at my workplace. We instantly became friends. We both liked the same music, video games, tv shows, etc. She was 19 and I was 22 at the time, our birthdays are 2 days apart so now we're 20 and 23. The problem was she had a boyfriend. I was aware of this and so tried not to get to close to her since I didn't want to become "the other guy". After about 2 months she admits she had feelings for me, so I admitted mine towards her. A week or two after that, she decides to break up with him (and move out of their apartment) so she could be with me. I never asked her to leave him, although deep down I did want her to because I was absolutely falling for her. I felt guilty as hell for her at the time boyfriend, I really did.

 

 

Anyway, the next 1-2 months are just about perfect as they could be, I had honestly never been happier in my entire life. She even talked of our future together. She said she didn't want to have kids until after marriage, she wanted to first get a nice apartment together after about a year of being together, etc. This made me believe she was just as serious about me as I was with her. Soon though she starts getting distant with me, she doesn't tell me she loves me as much as before, she doesn't caress me as much, she isn't as intimate, etc. Soon thereafter she asks for a break. She says that everything is hitting her now, leaving him, being with me, she says she has to clear her head and think things through. I'm devastated at this point and honestly I was in tears when she was telling me these things. At this point I was honestly truly completely in love with her. At that time I felt as if she was the world to me, without her there was no point. So over the next few days I'm in absolute misery.

 

 

She starts warming up to me again though. We hadn't slept together for almost 3 weeks at this point (we slept together for the first time 1 month after we got together). We slept together on a night she was staying over at my house. I thought everything was finally going to start settling down. She said she loved me with all of her heart and she wanted to be with me.

 

 

After that she started ignoring me for a few days. This honestly hurt like hell as well, I didn't understand why. I left her a couple voicemails and text saying this was not fair to me and that she seems to be perfectly okay leaving me agony and I don't know why. On the 4th day she sends me a cold, rude text saying that it was over. Before I knew it she was back with her ex (whom honestly seems like an immature child who behaves like he's in middle school).

 

 

I found out from someone else at work that she had cheated on me while we were together with her ex(that's when she became distant and asked for the break), and she slept with me about a week after that. This hurt me so bad. I hadn't felt such betrayal before. I poured my entire heart out to this girl. Trusted her inexplicably. I even told her of a birth defect that was passed down to me from my father. I had never told that to anyone else in my entire life, not even to my best friend. I was so good to her, I did anything and everything for her. Treated her with absolute respect, was kind to her, made her laugh, pleased her, never yelled or even raised my voice to her, etc.

 

 

During our entire relationship her ex was begging and pleading practically the entire time to come back to him. This was after he was verbally abusive to her during the initial break up. I don't understand how someone could go back to someone who has said such horrible things. She told me before that she wasn't happy with him and that they were already having problems before I came in the picture. She said that I was just the one that gave her the push to finally break it off with him.

 

 

It's been just over 2 weeks since she dumped me and immediately went back to him. She hasn't said a word to me, more than likely her now-again boyfriend asked her to block and delete my number. I haven't said a word to her either. The last time I saw her actually was 2 days ago. She was walking around my workplace (a store) with him. Almost flaunting in front of me...it seemed as if she was trying to avoid seeing me because she was hiding behind him the entire time, but she knew I was there. After I found out she cheated I threw every single physical memory I have of her (her clothes, her gifts she gave me, etc). I told her during the break that if she left me that I wasn't going to chase her or beg her to stay or come back. I told her that unlike her at-the-time ex, I actually have self-respect for myself and some dignity. I'm not going to grovel and beg and make a fool of myself. I'm so much better than that. My friends and family all know that I'm a good honest, trusty worthy person. They told me that I deserve someone much better than her and that from the very beginning they knew she didn't deserve me.

 

 

What she did to me was so dirty. If any of you met her you'd think she is the sweetest, most innocent, kind girl on the planet. I almost still cannot fathom that she'd be capable of doing such things. I try to keep myself distracted but she's in my head 24/7, when I close my eyes I see her face. Some days are good, some days are bad. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. The relationship lasted only 2 months but we spent basically all day every day together.

 

 

I can't help but feel she's going to realize that she made a mistake in going back to him. Even after I found out she cheated on me with him I never said a word to her, most people would've spammed her facebook or her phone by calling her a cheating whore or something of the nature. Even if she did try to come back, I don't think I could ever trust her again. I think she had forgotten all the bad things about her ex and was experiencing nostalgia when she went back to him. I know that she won't forget me though. She told me that I was 1000x better than anyone she had ever been with (obviously she was in a different state of mind when she said this), and that no one even compared to me. I've decided that when and if she texts or calls me I will ignore them. I won't give her the satisfaction of easing her guilt, because I believe that's what they'll most likely be about. Clearing her conscience.

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any and all insight is really appreciated. I've lurked on the forums for a couple days now and I see everyone give honest, good advice so I'd like to thank anyone and everyone for any comments/advice/input you have on my situation.

[aloneinaz]

Ok, I don't mean this in a condescending way, so keep an open mind.

 

 

You're both kids, especially her. You both have a lot to learn about relationships and the do's and don'ts. What stood out to me is she left the other guy and immediately started dating you. In those situations, it never has a happy ending as she didn't have time to process and get over her last relationship.

 

 

If you read what you said, there were all kinds of warning signs that she was losing interest with how she suddenly withdrew and then asked for a break. My man, when someone asks you for a break, especially at only a couple of months of dating, you give it to them and vanish from their lives. A break is the first step to a break up.

 

 

My other observation is you got WAY to emotionally invested in this girl for only being in a R/S for 2 months. Most people don't get that emotionally invested into someone they're dating for several months. You need to do some soul searching as to why you did that.

 

 

What should you do now? Learn from it. It's over. She cheated on you w/her ex, dumped you and went back to him. Again, she's a KID who's brain isn't fully formed yet and is immature and selfish. We all are at that age.

 

 

Now, you're doing the right things. You cleansed your place of her and any reminders. Hopefully, you deleted all texts, emails and pictures too. So, vanish from her life and don't engage with her. If you run into her at work, smile and walk right by. In the mean time, move on. It was only 2 months and you should bounce back quickly. You're only 23. Go out an tear it up and sow your oats while you're still young.

[QueenDeath]

Ok, I don't mean this in a condescending way, so keep an open mind.

 

 

You're both kids, especially her. You both have a lot to learn about relationships and the do's and don'ts. What stood out to me is she left the other guy and immediately started dating you. In those situations, it never has a happy ending as she didn't have time to process and get over her last relationship.

 

 

If you read what you said, there were all kinds of warning signs that she was losing interest with how she suddenly withdrew and then asked for a break. My man, when someone asks you for a break, especially at only a couple of months of dating, you give it to them and vanish from their lives. A break is the first step to a break up.

 

 

My other observation is you got WAY to emotionally invested in this girl for only being in a R/S for 2 months. Most people don't get that emotionally invested into someone they're dating for several months. You need to do some soul searching as to why you did that.

 

 

What should you do now? Learn from it. It's over. She cheated on you w/her ex, dumped you and went back to him. Again, she's a KID who's brain isn't fully formed yet and is immature and selfish. We all are at that age.

 

 

Now, you're doing the right things. You cleansed your place of her and any reminders. Hopefully, you deleted all texts, emails and pictures too. So, vanish from her life and don't engage with her. If you run into her at work, smile and walk right by. In the mean time, move on. It was only 2 months and you should bounce back quickly. You're only 23. Go out an tear it up and sow your oats while you're still young.

 

Dude, I love all of your responses and ditto to what this person said ^

 

Always keep in mind when someone asks for a break, a break up is around the corner, at least for me and my experiences.

 

Also, if someone cheats on you, don't even think about giving them the time of day, just keep doing your thing and work on moving on. Delete whatever you have, Facebook, Instagram, whatever it is, hell, even if it's a gaming site like Steam do it. Work on healing, you will get better.

[mightycpa]

Ok, I don't mean this in a condescending way, so keep an open mind.

 

 

You're both kids, especially her. You both have a lot to learn about relationships and the do's and don'ts. What stood out to me is she left the other guy and immediately started dating you. In those situations, it never has a happy ending as she didn't have time to process and get over her last relationship.

 

 

If you read what you said, there were all kinds of warning signs that she was losing interest with how she suddenly withdrew and then asked for a break. My man, when someone asks you for a break, especially at only a couple of months of dating, you give it to them and vanish from their lives. A break is the first step to a break up.

 

 

My other observation is you got WAY to emotionally invested in this girl for only being in a R/S for 2 months. Most people don't get that emotionally invested into someone they're dating for several months. You need to do some soul searching as to why you did that.

It might just be as simple as NOTHING feels as good as when you're young, whether that's drinking a case of beer, getting your ears blasted at a concert or falling in love with some girl. I know it's difficult to remember, but being a teenager is fun on steroids. I don't think that slows down until your mid-twenties.

 

Remember?

[DexterLS]

I only read the first paragraph to know that this was going to be a disaster. I am sorry you are going through this, but you want nothing to do with this girl.

[RIPolaris]

My other observation is you got WAY to emotionally invested in this girl for only being in a R/S for 2 months. Most people don't get that emotionally invested into someone they're dating for several months. You need to do some soul searching as to why you did that.

 

The reason why I invested so much was honestly because I was naïve and this is new to me...she was my first. I'm not the kind of guy that goes out to parties gets wasted and lays with random girls. I don't believe in that. She was my first love. I hadn't felt the way I felt towards her towards anyone else in my life. She was my first kiss, my first relationship, and I lost my virginity to her. Before we were even in a relationship I was already pretty much in love. I gave her my heart, and when she stomped on it and threw it in the trash it hurt.

 

 

I have a question. Should I not talk about her at all? Every single day it seems in some form or another I bring her up. I deleted all photos of her, contact info, phone number, etc. Everything of her in my life is gone. I know that looking at her pictures or her facebook or anything like that is only going to cause me more pain so I'm making well sure to avoid that.

 

 

Also I know I shouldn't dwell on her and he now-again boyfriend's relationship but I can't help it. I fear that she feels that I was a complete mistake. That just makes me feel like ****. How does she feel about me now? Does she still think of me? Does she miss me? For most of our relationship she was completely in love with me, or at least that's how it seemed. She would be dying to see me everyday. She'd go home after spending the day at my house and as soon as she got home she'd text me that she missed me. Was all of that just and emotional high that is now completely gone? She even started birth control with me, she said she had never let anyone finish inside of her before.

 

 

I want to hate her for lying and betraying me but I just can't. The feelings I had for her simply aren't going to vanish. I know I shouldn't care what she's doing or how she thinks of me but I can't shake the feeling. Thoughts?

Edited August 30, 2015 by RIPolaris

[aloneinaz]

The reason why I invested so much was honestly because I was naïve and this is new to me...she was my first. I'm not the kind of guy that goes out to parties gets wasted and lays with random girls. I don't believe in that. She was my first love. I hadn't felt the way I felt towards her towards anyone else in my life. She was my first kiss, my first relationship, and I lost my virginity to her. Before we were even in a relationship I was already pretty much in love. I gave her my heart, and when she stomped on it and threw it in the trash it hurt.

 

 

I have a question. Should I not talk about her at all? Every single day it seems in some form or another I bring her up. I deleted all photos of her, contact info, phone number, etc. Everything of her in my life is gone. I know that looking at her pictures or her facebook or anything like that is only going to cause me more pain so I'm making well sure to avoid that.

 

 

Also I know I shouldn't dwell on her and he now-again boyfriend's relationship but I can't help it. I fear that she feels that I was a complete mistake. That just makes me feel like ****. How does she feel about me now? Does she still think of me? Does she miss me? For most of our relationship she was completely in love with me, or at least that's how it seemed. She would be dying to see me everyday. She'd go home after spending the day at my house and as soon as she got home she'd text me that she missed me. Was all of that just and emotional high that is now completely gone? She even started birth control with me, she said she had never let anyone finish inside of her before.

 

 

I want to hate her for lying and betraying me but I just can't. The feelings I had for her simply aren't going to vanish. I know I shouldn't care what she's doing or how she thinks of me but I can't shake the feeling. Thoughts?

 

 

First off, hating her is a waste of your energy and time. She's a kid and they do selfish, immature things. Yes, you meant something to her or she wouldn't of spent 2 months with you. Now, at the end of the day, she chose to go back to her other ex who she liked more.

 

 

It's TOTALLY normal to feel and think everything your going thru. Should you talk about her? Sure, you need to get it all out of your system. Just don't spend every minute talking everyone's ears off about her as they will tire of it quickly.

 

 

You need to BLOCK her, her friends, her BF, etc. You don't need to see anything she's doing. She's your past.

 

 

What you should do? Stay NC. Read the thread on this site. Also, read on this site for a while. There's lot of great information being shared. If you can avoid any further contact w/her and stay NC, you'll feel better soon. Then, get out and date again. You've learned a lot from this quick relationship and gained lots of life experience.

[RIPolaris]

First off, hating her is a waste of your energy and time. She's a kid and they do selfish, immature things. Yes, you meant something to her or she wouldn't of spent 2 months with you. Now, at the end of the day, she chose to go back to her other ex who she liked more.

 

 

It's TOTALLY normal to feel and think everything your going thru. Should you talk about her? Sure, you need to get it all out of your system. Just don't spend every minute talking everyone's ears off about her as they will tire of it quickly.

 

 

You need to BLOCK her, her friends, her BF, etc. You don't need to see anything she's doing. She's your past.

 

 

What you should do? Stay NC. Read the thread on this site. Also, read on this site for a while. There's lot of great information being shared. If you can avoid any further contact w/her and stay NC, you'll feel better soon. Then, get out and date again. You've learned a lot from this quick relationship and gained lots of life experience.

 

Yeah I've been reading a lot information here on this site. I've been told and read that I need to forgive her. Not for her but for me. I'm going to really work on trying to forgive her since I can't just flip a switch and just have that happen. I'm going to really try and let it go since all it's doing is eating me up inside.

 

 

Of course I'm going NC, unfortunately she still comes around my workplace and it's usually with her now-again boyfriend.

 

 

You're completely right, she is just a child that makes selfish decisions. I know it's not my fault, I didn't do anything wrong. She made her decision, and while at the moment she probably feels it's the right one, she will have to live with it when it starts falling apart with him.

Edited August 31, 2015 by RIPolaris

[aloneinaz]

 

She made her decision, and while at the moment she probably feels it's the right one, she will have to live with it when it starts falling apart with him.

 

 

Just understand that if and when their reconciliation fails (and it will), it does not mean she'll want you back nor should you even consider that. She chose him over you and as a result, you shouldn't ever accept being someone's second choice.

 

 

You need to look back w/your time with her as a good thing. You gained a lot of life experiences from the experience. Stay NC and you'll feel better quickly. Then start dating and find someone new.

[RIPolaris]

Just understand that if and when their reconciliation fails (and it will), it does not mean she'll want you back nor should you even consider that. She chose him over you and as a result, you shouldn't ever accept being someone's second choice.

 

 

You need to look back w/your time with her as a good thing. You gained a lot of life experiences from the experience. Stay NC and you'll feel better quickly. Then start dating and find someone new.

 

Even though I still feel kind of down about the whole situation, I'm glad it happened. Like you said, I've gained so much experience. I've gained so much insight and knowledge. I feel like I've come out a much stronger person. I will use the lessons I've learned from this experience and use them. I know I made mistakes with her (such as getting together immediately after she left her boyfriend), and I will never make those same mistakes again. Not with her, not with anyone.

 

I feel as though I've made a breakthrough. I was thinking about everything I've read and that has been told to me. I feel that I have forgiven her. She's just a silly child who makes mistakes and I'm not going to hate her for it, like you said, it'd be a waste of time and energy. I can think back at our good times together and actually smile and not get sad immediately afterwards. Before, I would get sad anytime I thought of good times with her. I think I'm done with the grieving phase and now I can focus on myself and moving on.

[RIPolaris]

I'm coming more and more to a realization. It's over. I was honestly holding onto the idea that she would realize she made a mistake in leaving me for him and that she would come back to me. At this point it's far too late for reconciliation for she and I. Firstly she might not even when come back to me when her relationship with the other guy fails (99% sure it will within 6 months), but even if she did...I'd be her back up plan. I'd be her safety net, her second choice. I don't deserve that, I really do not. I'm a good, honest, trusty worthy person. She cheated on me, dumped me, and immediately went back to her ex. All trust I had for her has been completely shattered, beyond repair I might say. She isn't trust-worthy at all. She lies and deceives and shows almost no remorse in doing so. I'd always be in doubt, I'd always be wondering what she's doing or who she's talking to when I'm not with her, and that should never be the case in a healthy relationship. She has no respect for me whatsoever. She comes into my work knowing full well that I'm there with her now-again boyfriend walking around holding hands in front of me.

 

 

She's selfish and immature. She thinks of no one but herself. I admit I hadn't blocked her on my phone expecting a call or text in the upcoming weeks but I realize now I want nothing to do with her. I went ahead and blocked her on my phone that way I don't have to be waiting for a potential call or text. I don't want to see her, I don't want to speak to her. She doesn't deserve me.

 

 

I can say with absolute honesty that I've had more drama in the last 2-3 months with her than I did in all of my school time. I don't need her in my life. I had some amazing times with her, absolutely. I also had some of the most miserable as well though. She builds relationships based on lies and manipulation. I know for a fact that she's lying to her now-again boyfriend right now. I'm not getting involved though, I'm done with her.

 

 

I'm glad that this ended so quickly. I can't imagine investing more time and money into her. Some people have told me this before but I didn't feel it was true until now...I dodged a bullet. I can only imagine if I had gotten her pregnant and she pulled this stunt. Or if we had moved in together only to have her do this. She really is bad news and I should be happy she's out of my life. I can honestly say it's her loss, not mine.

Edited September 1, 2015 by RIPolaris

[Christos]

You said:

 

"I'm a good, honest, trusty worthy person"

 

Earlier you said:

 

"We instantly became friends. We both liked the same music, video games, tv shows, etc. She was 19 and I was 22 at the time, our birthdays are 2 days apart so now we're 20 and 23. The problem was she had a boyfriend. I was aware of this and so tried not to get to close to her since I didn't want to become "the other guy". After about 2 months she admits she had feelings for me, so I admitted mine towards her. A week or two after that, she decides to break up with him (and move out of their apartment) so she could be with me. I never asked her to leave him, although deep down I did want her to because I was absolutely falling for her."

 

I am sorry pal, and i dont want to be mean, but you are neither good nor honest. Let me explain:

 

1. You were never really friends. Let aside the fact tha true friendship with a woman at that age doesn't exist at all. During 2 months, you cannot develop feelings with a "friend", unless you were really attracted to her at first sight.

 

2. You decided to keep being a "friend", although you knew she was commited, and still secretly wanted her to leave him for you.

 

So no, you were not honest and good. You were actually the "other man". And you wanted to steal another man's girlfriend, and you positioned yourself into her life "as a friend" to exploit the bad period of their relationship.

 

And you made her cheat on him. On purpose. And despite saying that you felt bad, you didnt. You actually felt good, i am sure of it. You felt strong, "better than the other man, more alpha"...

 

It is a strong feeling i admit, stealing a wife or girlfriend. But it is not good or honest.

 

So, all in all, she didn't really cheat on you. She cheated HIM with you. And you, by being the other man, reap what you sow.

 

Their relationship might fail again, but it will be for the better, because obviously the girl is no good. But you are no better, and actually deserved to be cheated upon, until you learn to stay away from commited women and not "befriend" them.

 

Sorry for being harsh.

[SSJROMANCE]

She is a confused little girl probably with low self-esteem and doesn't know what she wants in life. This is not uncommon at that age. Let her go and if she comes back you have a big decision to make knowing that 3 weeks down the road she may be leaving you for someone else.

[RIPolaris]

You said:

 

"I'm a good, honest, trusty worthy person"

 

Earlier you said:

 

"We instantly became friends. We both liked the same music, video games, tv shows, etc. She was 19 and I was 22 at the time, our birthdays are 2 days apart so now we're 20 and 23. The problem was she had a boyfriend. I was aware of this and so tried not to get to close to her since I didn't want to become "the other guy". After about 2 months she admits she had feelings for me, so I admitted mine towards her. A week or two after that, she decides to break up with him (and move out of their apartment) so she could be with me. I never asked her to leave him, although deep down I did want her to because I was absolutely falling for her."

 

I am sorry pal, and i dont want to be mean, but you are neither good nor honest. Let me explain:

 

1. You were never really friends. Let aside the fact tha true friendship with a woman at that age doesn't exist at all. During 2 months, you cannot develop feelings with a "friend", unless you were really attracted to her at first sight.

 

2. You decided to keep being a "friend", although you knew she was commited, and still secretly wanted her to leave him for you.

 

So no, you were not honest and good. You were actually the "other man". And you wanted to steal another man's girlfriend, and you positioned yourself into her life "as a friend" to exploit the bad period of their relationship.

 

And you made her cheat on him. On purpose. And despite saying that you felt bad, you didnt. You actually felt good, i am sure of it. You felt strong, "better than the other man, more alpha"...

 

It is a strong feeling i admit, stealing a wife or girlfriend. But it is not good or honest.

 

So, all in all, she didn't really cheat on you. She cheated HIM with you. And you, by being the other man, reap what you sow.

 

Their relationship might fail again, but it will be for the better, because obviously the girl is no good. But you are no better, and actually deserved to be cheated upon, until you learn to stay away from commited women and not "befriend" them.

 

Sorry for being harsh.

 

 

She never cheated on him. We didn't do anything until after she broke up with him. It was never my intention to break them up, it really wasn't. If it was, I simply would've told her to leave him for me, I never did that. I never told her how I felt about her until after she told me that she had feelings for me. Even after that I never persuaded her to leave him.

 

 

How can you say I didn't feel bad for her boyfriend? I felt terrible for "stealing" another mans girl. I did not feel more "alpha" or "stronger" because she had decided to leave him for me. She told me she was not happy with him, and that I was just the one who gave her the extra nudge to break it off with him.

 

 

I didn't position myself into her life to steal her. Like I said that was never my intention. I did fall for her and after she told me how she felt about me I did want her to leave him, but I kept it to myself and didn't force her to do that.

 

 

She broke up with him and we were in a relationship. How can you say she didn't cheat on me? That doesn't make any sense.

 

 

I deserved to be cheated upon? Are you kidding me? NO ONE deserves to be cheated upon. I realize I made a mistake in immediately jumping into a relationship with her and not giving her time to think and process about the whole situation, but that in no way justifies being cheated on.

 

 

Think what you will but I know I'm a good, honest person. Yes I made mistakes but this was my first relationship. I was naïve and wasn't thinking logically. I was simply following my emotions. If that makes me a bad, dishonest person then I guess everyone in the world is bad.

[Christos]

She never cheated on him. We didn't do anything until after she broke up with him. It was never my intention to break them up, it really wasn't. If it was, I simply would've told her to leave him for me, I never did that. I never told her how I felt about her until after she told me that she had feelings for me. Even after that I never persuaded her to leave him.

 

 

How can you say I didn't feel bad for her boyfriend? I felt terrible for "stealing" another mans girl. I did not feel more "alpha" or "stronger" because she had decided to leave him for me. She told me she was not happy with him, and that I was just the one who gave her the extra nudge to break it off with him.

 

 

I didn't position myself into her life to steal her. Like I said that was never my intention. I did fall for her and after she told me how she felt about me I did want her to leave him, but I kept it to myself and didn't force her to do that.

 

 

She broke up with him and we were in a relationship. How can you say she didn't cheat on me? That doesn't make any sense.

 

 

I deserved to be cheated upon? Are you kidding me? NO ONE deserves to be cheated upon. I realize I made a mistake in immediately jumping into a relationship with her and not giving her time to think and process about the whole situation, but that in no way justifies being cheated on.

 

 

Think what you will but I know I'm a good, honest person. Yes I made mistakes but this was my first relationship. I was naïve and wasn't thinking logically. I was simply following my emotions. If that makes me a bad, dishonest person then I guess everyone in the world is bad.

 

Again, let me start by saying i am sorry for being harsh, but you need people to say the truth as it is, rather than stroke your ego, if you want to improve as a person...

 

What you did, BEFORE she broke up, is called an emotional affair. It doesn't involve sex, but it is an affair, and sex almost always comes afterwards anyway...

 

You did connect on an emotional level, before her being single, and you did confess your feelings, again before her break up, so you made her make that decision...

 

In truth, you approached her not because you liked her as a friend but because you liked her as a woman. I have heard all kinds of excuses, but seriously, 99% of young men always approach and befriend women because we want to f*ck them. End of story. Sure, we might say otherwise, but unless you are a homosexual or the girl is totally unattractive, you don't care about "shared interests" you care about her v*gina. Ok? I am a man, i know.

 

Also, emotional affairs are a form of cheating, and actually they are a worse form of cheating than a purely physical affair. Because there are feelings involved, and not only lust.

 

Another thing i would like to mention to you, is that obviously she wasn't that unhappy with him, because if she was, she wouldn't go back, would she? Especially since she had YOU in her life, you who were "obviously" better, right?

 

Let me tell you the truth my friend: Her ex(actually her current bf) was alright. She was not unhappy. She just wanted to taste a different man, because she is young and naive, and because she is a %$%$. And actually, after getting to know you, she prefered to go back to her ex, because she didn't like you that much.

 

That's what has been eating you. Your ego. I don't think you really like her that much, you just can't get over the fact that you measured less than her ex after all...

 

In any case, you misunderstand morality. Following your emotions is noble, for as long as you don't hurt other people's emotions. Remember the golden rule, don't do upon others what you don't like them doing to you. Following blindly your emotions without regard for other people, is not moral, good, honest, or noble. If my emotions tell me to rape a woman, should i follow them and then claim i am an honest person?

[RIPolaris]

Again, let me start by saying i am sorry for being harsh, but you need people to say the truth as it is, rather than stroke your ego, if you want to improve as a person...

 

What you did, BEFORE she broke up, is called an emotional affair. It doesn't involve sex, but it is an affair, and sex almost always comes afterwards anyway...

 

You did connect on an emotional level, before her being single, and you did confess your feelings, again before her break up, so you made her make that decision...

 

In truth, you approached her not because you liked her as a friend but because you liked her as a woman. I have heard all kinds of excuses, but seriously, 99% of young men always approach and befriend women because we want to f*ck them. End of story. Sure, we might say otherwise, but unless you are a homosexual or the girl is totally unattractive, you don't care about "shared interests" you care about her v*gina. Ok? I am a man, i know.

 

Also, emotional affairs are a form of cheating, and actually they are a worse form of cheating than a purely physical affair. Because there are feelings involved, and not only lust.

 

Another thing i would like to mention to you, is that obviously she wasn't that unhappy with him, because if she was, she wouldn't go back, would she? Especially since she had YOU in her life, you who were "obviously" better, right?

 

Let me tell you the truth my friend: Her ex(actually her current bf) was alright. She was not unhappy. She just wanted to taste a different man, because she is young and naive, and because she is a %$%$. And actually, after getting to know you, she prefered to go back to her ex, because she didn't like you that much.

 

That's what has been eating you. Your ego. I don't think you really like her that much, you just can't get over the fact that you measured less than her ex after all...

 

In any case, you misunderstand morality. Following your emotions is noble, for as long as you don't hurt other people's emotions. Remember the golden rule, don't do upon others what you don't like them doing to you. Following blindly your emotions without regard for other people, is not moral, good, honest, or noble. If my emotions tell me to rape a woman, should i follow them and then claim i am an honest person?

 

 

Yes, obviously she couldn't have been that unhappy with him if she went back to him. She's the one who told me she was not happy with him. I don't think that after "getting to know me" she didn't like me that much, its just that she still have feelings with her ex. She had been with him for over a year and obviously her feelings for him didn't disappear (despite him calling her so many foul names and making her cry). She is confused and doesn't know what she wants.

 

 

I didn't get with her just have sex with her. I'm not the kind of person who just wants to sleep with girls and add them to my conquest belt...In actuality, she wanted to sleep with me before I said yes. She even wanted to have unprotected sex with me, risking getting pregnant...I said no, I said I wanted to wait.

 

 

I didn't really like her? I ****ing loved her. I would've done anything for her. I got so emotionally invested with her she felt like the world to me. My ego is not the problem, I'm not upset that I didn't "measure up" to her ex. I'm upset that I was betrayed and thrown away like a toy that she got tired of playing with.

 

 

I didn't follow my emotions completely blind. Deep down I did want her to leave him. If I had no regards to morality I would've pushed her to leaving him. I would've done anything and everything to break them up if I didn't care.

 

 

We live, we learn. Believe me, I'm not making any of these mistakes again. There are people (people who know all three of us in real life) who know both sides of the story. It's a consensus that she's no good. They know I'm a good person and for the most part most say she never deserved me, that I deserve someone better. Of course, they sympathized with him too. I never really got to know her ex so I only know him via his actions. He was childish to be honest. He'd spread false rumors about me. He'd tell her lies about me. He told everyone in my workplace that I was after some girl. He'd make funny face towards us when we were together. He threatened to "wipe the floor" with me multiple times but he never said it to my face, he'd instead go and tell her, etc. He did everything in his power to break us up.

 

 

Anyway, what's done is done. I really did love her, but I know clinging onto her is only going to cause me more pain so I have to let her go.

Edited September 1, 2015 by RIPolaris

[emotional_particle]

you never trust a cheater even if she only did it once.you're young,it was your first relationship and you made the mistake of emotionally investing in someone that cheated.you've learned your lesson and you're on the right path.she fooled you twice don't let her do it for the 3rd time.if she ever come back to you **** her and kick her out the next day.