Richie1018 Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 This is my first post and I just need some input and advice.This is going to be a long post so bare with me. My name is Richard and I recently got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship and I'm 25 years old. She's 28 and we separated about 4 months ago. She broke up with me due to my lack on emotion towards her and never spending time with her and the kids due to me living a double life. I have one biological son with her and a daughter I took in from her past relationship and I've raised her since she was 3 months old and also a 8 year old step daughter from her first marriage. She is currently dating someone else who seems to be a lot more knowledgeable than me and shows her how he feels. I failed to attempt to get her back during those months of separation due to my anger and lack of hope blinding me and led me deeper to my "other" life. I wasn't there when she and the kids truly needed me and I feel so bad and it seems I can't forgive myself for neglecting my family. She sees this other guy as a blessing to her life and he's currently sick and needs a kidney and pancreas transplant. I recently dropped my "other" life and I'm there a lot more for my kids and I'm trying to make up for time and memories lost from their earlier years. I've been reading a lot and working out trying to better my self as a person and recently started getting closer to god and prayer. I told her I was sorry for what I did and I'm trying to rearrange my life and my ways but she didn't really have much to say. She told me I'll always be a father figure to the kids and she only loves me as a friend but I feel like she still has some kind of love towards me but she is such a prideful person that I can't really read her. They've been together for about 3 weeks and they only seem to grow closer by the day. She met his family, friends, etc. She still asks about my parents and how there doing and I still support her financially for the kids with diapers, grocery money, etc. She truly was the love of my life and feel like she's my soul mate but I tell myself what's meant to be is what's meant to be. I feel torn about the situation and don't really know how to approach things when I see her and I can't help but get all these feelings for her when I see her. I pretty much have to see her everyday to drop things off for the kids and visit my kids because I just can't go a day without seeing them. I hope she'll take me back and give me a second chance with time due and her family still loves me and tells me they pray we get back together one day. I don't know if I should just move on or still have hope in us being together one day. Right now I'm just focusing on my self and trying to get my life together and provide for my kids. I'm not in the mood or mind frame to staring seeing other people and it's like I'm trying to get up a steep hill but not matter what I do or how I approach it, I just can't get to the top. Sorry for the long ass post and any input is appreciated. Thanks guys god bless.
mightycpa Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 There's plenty of responsible, wholesome, God-fearing and really great men in the world. She doesn't love them either. That's got nothing to do with how she feels about you. However, when you were something else, that had a great deal to do with killing the way she felt about you. A year or two of change will not erase that. My advice would be to stop worrying about whether you will ever get back with her or not. The good news is that she's got plenty of baggage, so her pickins are going to be slim. How many guys are up for taking on a woman with three kids with three different men? Guys who need pancreases, I guess. (Or is that pancreii?) Yeah, that was mean, but realistic. Guys without problems may be ok banging your ex (if they can guarantee she won't get pregnant) but buying in to the whole package? I don't think so. Only guys who have few other choices will do that.... or Gus Grimsly, who will probably be a little more sensible going forward. You don't really have competition problems. You have history problems, so just keep being Mr. Goodguy, and maybe it will work out for you.
Author Richie1018 Posted August 30, 2015 Author Posted August 30, 2015 (edited) Towards the end of our relationship she dedicated her life to the Lord. So I doubt she's engaging in sex with him, at least I hope not. She also got her tubes tied after we had our son and I know he wants kids. He said he wants to be there for the kids but I know he will never love and support them like I do because they all have an emotional bond with me. I have changed more in my life in these past 2 weeks more than I have in 5 years. Pitiful I know. I guess now it's just a waiting game and time to find and improve myself to whom I need to be. I really appreciate your opinion you gave me somewhat of closure. Edited August 30, 2015 by Richie1018
Author Richie1018 Posted August 30, 2015 Author Posted August 30, 2015 Any other input is appreciated.
aloneinaz Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 What's your "other life" you referenced a few times in your original post?
Author Richie1018 Posted August 30, 2015 Author Posted August 30, 2015 Let's just say I was a botanist.
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