ycpoumu Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) My online experience in anutshell: I have a roughly 1% response rate to my messages, most of them are unread and swiftly deleted. Perplexed by the situation, I decided to create a sock/catfish account just to see what it was like. The results were very disappointing. I got a nearly 100% response rate from first contacts. Sadly, most of these women found me funny, intelligent, and considerate (I am, in real life, a college professor). I say sadly because the only reason I got response from these women was because I was using the picture of a good looking guy. My curiosity grew slightly deeper. Let’s just say I developed a number of experiments that revealed a host of contradictory responses from women (for the record, I’m sure most of the men on online dating sites are not any better). They had to do with tone of my fake and real profile. Basically, if my fake (i.e., handsome) profile used humor women identified with it; if I exhibited frustration, women would identify with that as well. Meanwhile, if I used the same humor in my real profile, it was seen as me ‘trying too hard’ and if I used frustration it was taken as me being bitter. Before long, I got carried away. I tried to make the good looking guy in my fake profile as unappealing as possible. A profile laced with typos: no problem. A profile with a good looking guy who lives with his parents: total chick magnet. A perpetually unemployed man in love with My Little Pony: he’s still cute. Some of my interactions are pretty hilarious, almost worthy of a book. Edited August 30, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
toml Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 Id love to see some of these interactions. Its common knowledge that looks are important to women. They treat you differently if you look good
ImmortalDracula Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 Many blogs exists online regarding this and 1-5% is pretty normal. But you are also overlooking the fact some of your mails would go to catfishes/fake accounts. So it is hard to find exact figures. Plus your competition is a skewed ratio of men to women 4:1 often higher – with probably a large bulk of that skewed ratio being married and formidable at talking utter pants. It just how it is, and always has been. Embellish the truth, or not that is your business. Worth reading is this OKC & why you should never have to pay for online dating blog – which they took down just after match bought them. Strangely the priority factor, no matter what women say is looks, eg if I hide all my pictures not one browse x 1-2 weeks from anyone. Or if I use a terrible picture same result perhaps 1-2 browses. If i use a good picture then the figure browse figure goes up my a factor of 50-100 times Personally on the two main sites I have the figure of about >50% (as high as >90% on some other sites) in relationships/married and omitting the fact. Therefore statistically that lot rarely reply so you need to factor them out. Take 100 pictures and keep the best one – eg a moody one often work for initial attention span, or least give them reason to pause and look
lino Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 It boggles my mind that people are still surprised that women are about looks as much as any man is. 7
LoveRefreshed Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 Unfortunately, all you've succeeded in doing is frustrating and embittering yourself further, as well as many other women and men out there. You just screwed with, what, let's say a dozen women in this experiment? Considering that some of these women I really wouldn't want (for being shallow, etc..), how many men do you think were interested in her that she blew off for a prospect with trailer trash Jonny Depp? Without getting into the psychoanalysis of why women want to fix a man, let's just state the obvious result of your experiment- physical attraction matters. It's been discussed here several times, but unfortunately, the connections made by online dating, IMO, will be shallow in nature and the easy convenience of it, people's [girls in your case] options are unrealistically blown out of proportion. I would guess girls get 5 messages a day, and you're in the 20th percentile in looks, well man, that is at least 3 dudes who are better looking than you. She probably never even read the fake account's profile. OLD is a **** around thing, half the women on it are looking for ego boosts and validation. **** it man, **** OLD. I've done it from time to time and have an account, but it's not my method for meeting women. Go make a real connection and let the bitterness go. 3
WonderKid Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 It happens. I did the same thing once with a friend. To all the women I contacted. One, who typically stated in her profile: I am not here for hookups or a booty call! Within 15 messages she was already talking about me coming over for a "movie night". One girl said she wouldn't talk to guys with shirtless pics. She looked at the profile and still inboxed me. The guy I used was amateur model. A twin. Biracial. But still looked likd a guy you could run into commonly. For me, it can be about looks, but I think it is simply because OLDing gives the girls more power. I stopped it. Nothing promising can come from online dating for a guy and it'll totally end up confusing your general look on women and dating. 1
abby_tx Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 I'd love to see the photo you used for your fake profile. I never message or reply to goodlooking guys because they're fake pics are so easy to spot.
abby_tx Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 Many blogs exists online regarding this and 1-5% is pretty normal. But you are also overlooking the fact some of your mails would go to catfishes/fake accounts. So it is hard to find exact figures. Plus your competition is a skewed ratio of men to women 4:1 often higher – with probably a large bulk of that skewed ratio being married and formidable at talking utter pants. It just how it is, and always has been. Embellish the truth, or not that is your business. Worth reading is this OKC & why you should never have to pay for online dating blog – which they took down just after match bought them. Strangely the priority factor, no matter what women say is looks, eg if I hide all my pictures not one browse x 1-2 weeks from anyone. Or if I use a terrible picture same result perhaps 1-2 browses. If i use a good picture then the figure browse figure goes up my a factor of 50-100 times Personally on the two main sites I have the figure of about >50% (as high as >90% on some other sites) in relationships/married and omitting the fact. Therefore statistically that lot rarely reply so you need to factor them out. Take 100 pictures and keep the best one – eg a moody one often work for initial attention span, or least give them reason to pause and look What are you wearing/doing in the photos that get most responses? Curious what majority of the women respond to.
ImmortalDracula Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 Which site are you referring to pof or okc(poor in the uk that one- most are attached on it or claim to be in an open relationship). I don’t actually mail on those two sites less my belly is filled with cheap chardonnay. And if I sent 10 mails one might go to someone actually single – I know – still better than Ashley Madison (nope was never on there) but examine the fact some 0.007% were actually real women – those are poor odds – ok the worst out there methinks. But all other sites are a reflection of the whole, to one degree or many others. As long as you have a good one paragraph and 1-3 pictures a simple hi will suffice for most to reply and by that I mean 5%-25% - who knows what the other 75% are. Refers everyone to my original Ashley comment for that lot, most are all on those two sites I mentioned by name. Hmm my profile text is not paralleled anywhere online – truly. An argument can be made per 100 of a sites users how many seek a loon with a cat problem A good paragraph is ample, and 1-3 pictures leave them imagining /wanton more – mines is a novella. Let me see if I can upload a picture on here - no can do let me think it will take me 5 mins to do a new avatar
Jj66 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 I'm an average looking guy and I got dozens of messages from women making initial contact. If your profile is awesome, you will get responses. Just remember you only have a few lines to make a connection so you have to be efficient and effective. The point of the profile is not to let them get to know you, it's to make them want to get to know you. You need some mystery and you need to be fun. Example, my "I spend a lot of time thinking about" section was this: Why the women on here only want me for my body. Seriously! I have so much more to offer than a nice butt. I have a beautiful, twisted mind to go along with it ;-) Do I spend any time at all thinking about that? Of course not. But women can relate to it!! The overt message is also that I believe other women want my body (and maybe they should too?). Even if it's a joke, the seed is planted. I got a lot of messages referencing my nice butt. My profile pic was a full body shot from the front. No butt to be seen. I was obviously happy, looked sporty and active, and the pic was obviously not posed. If you saw the picture you would think: active, likes the outdoors, not a couch potato, happy, friendly, and approachable. 1
LuckyLady13 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Professor, what are you going to do with the results of your experiment? I would hope you'd use it to your advantage. I don't mean use fake pictures of "hot" guys to attract women online (but I think you already knew that). If you're getting that much of a great response to your "handsome" profile, why not try to be a bit more handsome in real life? So that you start getting a better response from women? There's something to understand about women, especially with online dating. Women realize that if they're going to bother talking to a guy that she might consider dating, that will lead to sex eventually and if a guy isn't turning her on right from the word go, she's not going to want to talk to him. With the ease of whipping through profiles so quickly, if you're not "hot" and/or "handsome", you're going to get glossed right over. And you'd be very surprised to find out how many things women will overlook and completely ignore as long as a guy turns her on. You can't blame them, though. It's better they are honest with themselves and contact men they are physically attracted to rather than contact men they aren't attracted to. Who wants a sexless relationship or a habitual cheater on their hands?
ChicagoSparty Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 This is where people need to understand or realize that initial 'romantic' interactions are driven by procreation. I think it's hilarious that people think they can elevate their existences above, and supersede, biology. We try to trick ourselves into thinking that we're so intelligent and aware that we can muffle out the basic drivers that have perpetuated our, and many other, species throughout history. Sorry. You can't. Many mammals engage in a pretty similar reproductive strategy. To keep it simple, I'll stick with mammals. The initial 'attraction' from a female toward a male is engaged by an attraction to what is perceived as 'good' genetic material. The big, the strong, the attractive. The female, at a base level, is shopping for the attributes her offspring are to have. Just like nobody is running to the grocery store and picking out the mashed up brown bananas, females typically choose the most desirable attributes. It happens with people too. The benefit that humans have is that, because if the safe, comfortable environments we've been able to create, reproduction is no longer the dangerous, risky, depleting, almost desperate survival strategy it is in the wild. In other words, we can afford to mate, not mate, pick whomever we want...because we intellectually understand that offspring can survive and be successful even without having the 'strongest' genetic material. But, that basic biology still gets in the way. Those things that trigger hormonal response, basic reactions, drive our more basic behaviors...they're pretty hard-wired and a lot of times, we might not even be consciously aware of them enough to rewire. To the professors point, take me: I'm 6'1" 210 lbs, good looking (I'm told). Even into my 40s, I've maintained my physique, hair, youthful look, energy, etc. On top of that, I'm personable, engaging, funny, etc. I can have pretty much any girl I want, and I can look as bad as I want in the process...I will still get them. The reason? Women will almost willingly sidestep their own reason and rational thinking to have me....to the point where they jump at the chance to make really terrible decisions with me. I could tell you guys some stories. The basic point though is that I know enough about biology to use it as a tool. Even intelligent women become dumb when the proteins take over.
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Good point, people will give wiggle room to those they find physically attractive. They'll let certain unappealing traits go in the name of physical attraction. Attractive people can get away with certain faults while the unattractive have to make up for it, usually in the form of appearing as if they are "trying too hard." I recall someone mentioning in the forums that making a lengthy, well-written initial email to a woman gives such an impression and in the mean time, these women complain about how all they get is "Hey" or "Hey hottie!" or "Wussup!" Initial emails riddled with "text-speak." It happens. I did the same thing once with a friend. To all the women I contacted. One, who typically stated in her profile: I am not here for hookups or a booty call! Within 15 messages she was already talking about me coming over for a "movie night". One girl said she wouldn't talk to guys with shirtless pics. She looked at the profile and still inboxed me. The guy I used was amateur model. A twin. Biracial. But still looked likd a guy you could run into commonly. For me, it can be about looks, but I think it is simply because OLDing gives the girls more power. I stopped it. Nothing promising can come from online dating for a guy and it'll totally end up confusing your general look on women and dating.
Jj66 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 You bring up some good points. But women go for a lot more than just looks. At least women old enough for me want more than looks. You just need to be attractive enough physically that they could envision themselves having sex with you. Once you've passed that threshold they will stop and read your profile instead of just swiping or clicking next. This is when the profile has to draw them into your life a bit and intrigue them. This is when your sense of humor and other characteristics gets a chance to win them over or drive them away. I would never say I could have any woman I want - that's just silly - but I have never had a shortage of women who were interested so I do at least have the liberty of picking my mates. Unfortunately, when I was younger I was lazy about it and just picked from the ones showing obvious hit me over the head with a club type interest instead of going for the women I wanted who may have only displayed some receptivity.
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 I'm an average looking guy and I got dozens of messages from women making initial contact. Do they weigh over 200 pounds? If I do get initial contacts from women, they look like crush me and also look like 500 miles of hard road. If your profile is awesome, you will get responses. "Awesome" is subjective. Just remember you only have a few lines to make a connection so you have to be efficient and effective. The point of the profile is not to let them get to know you, it's to make them want to get to know you. You need some mystery and you need to be fun. Example, my "I spend a lot of time thinking about" section was this: Why the women on here only want me for my body. Seriously! I have so much more to offer than a nice butt. I have a beautiful, twisted mind to go along with it ;-) There is nothing interesting about this whatsoever, nothing fun at all. It actually sounds narcissistic/arrogant. All in all, if you're attempting to attract those types of personalities that are likely unstable individuals that are into that kind of thing. Some women may be into that kind of thing, other women, not at all. That being said, whoever you attract is quite subjective and there's no constant rule of thumb of how you should be presenting yourself in a profile to attract a certain type of woman. What may be appealing to some, may not be so much for others.
40 Fonzarelli Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Even a stuttering, zero confidence guy can get girls if you're good looking
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