opalant Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 My ex boyfriend of 3 years and 3 months left me 3 months ago. We were arguing and he came running up behind me and I got scared so I pushed him away which made him angry. He hit me in the face with the back of his hand, the force made me fall to the floor I stopped shouting back, just sat on the floor holding my face in silence because of the shock got up and left. He rang the next day to apologise but I said it wasn't good enough and started NC straight away and deleted him from everything. I work with his Dad though and I'm friends with his sister but I didn't see my ex again until Tuesday of this week. His Dad gives me a lift too and from work as I have no other way of getting there myself but my ex has been purposefully coming in the car too to see me. He hugs me and strokes my legs and my hair and flirts and tries to make me laugh all the time. He shows off about how happy and 'free' he is now although I never stopped him from doing anything and tries to make me jealous by talking about other girls. One day I just had enough and said I had a new boyfriend even though I don't because I thought it would make him shut up but he looked really shocked and upset and kept asking me what he was called because he hadn't seen on Facebook meaning that he's been checking my profile because I unfriended him. I know I shouldn't get back with him but my heart doesn't want to listen, seeing him has brought back all my feelings for him so I feel like I haven't made any progress in moving on at all now. He was so nice to me before the last month of our relationship when it all started to go down hill. I want him back because I feel like I won't feel this strong for anyone else because he's my first love. And I'm going to feel so rubbish when he gets with someone else and treats her the way he should have treated me. I don't know what to do. One minute I'm set on moving on and the next I want him back no matter what and it's all because I have to see him 2 hours a day for work.
Samuel_22 Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 My ex boyfriend of 3 years and 3 months left me 3 months ago. We were arguing and he came running up behind me and I got scared so I pushed him away which made him angry. He hit me in the face with the back of his hand, the force made me fall to the floor I stopped shouting back, just sat on the floor holding my face in silence because of the shock got up and left. He rang the next day to apologise but I said it wasn't good enough and started NC straight away and deleted him from everything. I work with his Dad though and I'm friends with his sister but I didn't see my ex again until Tuesday of this week. His Dad gives me a lift too and from work as I have no other way of getting there myself but my ex has been purposefully coming in the car too to see me. He hugs me and strokes my legs and my hair and flirts and tries to make me laugh all the time. He shows off about how happy and 'free' he is now although I never stopped him from doing anything and tries to make me jealous by talking about other girls. One day I just had enough and said I had a new boyfriend even though I don't because I thought it would make him shut up but he looked really shocked and upset and kept asking me what he was called because he hadn't seen on Facebook meaning that he's been checking my profile because I unfriended him. I know I shouldn't get back with him but my heart doesn't want to listen, seeing him has brought back all my feelings for him so I feel like I haven't made any progress in moving on at all now. He was so nice to me before the last month of our relationship when it all started to go down hill. I want him back because I feel like I won't feel this strong for anyone else because he's my first love. And I'm going to feel so rubbish when he gets with someone else and treats her the way he should have treated me. I don't know what to do. One minute I'm set on moving on and the next I want him back no matter what and it's all because I have to see him 2 hours a day for work. I don't have much to say here, it feels you have already made up your mind, just listen, this might help, the first time I fell in love, well it was maybe 6 years ago, was with someone who was engaged with this other man, and she had never told me that, so we kept going on and on, until one day, her fiance caught her red-handed! and only then I understood what she had been doing, I was devastated, ruined and thought it was the end of the line for me, I said I would never find anyone to love, 1 year later I found another girl, she was much prettier than the first one, more attractive and we were in a relationship for 2 years, until she said they were moving to NY, and that was the end of the line for us, so I was devastated again, thought I was doomed, I said I was lucky to fall in love twice and things went on, well I didn't fall in love with anyone, until one year ago, again I fell in love this girl who has recently dumped me to go back to her ex! I am again devastated, but this time I know, I am going to fall in love with someone who is far better than this one, well the thing is, you will fall in love again, someone who is better than this guy, I didn't tell you all these stories, to say well don't go back to him, maybe this guy is now his better version, maybe he is not! who can say? I have never hit any women, I hate men who do that... but if he really feels sorry, maybe it is worth it!
DatingDirection Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 Get a new job, get away from this man, and his family. Cut the ties. This doesn't sound good. 4
Chi townD Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 Walk away. try to find another way to get to work. I don't care if it's a man or woman. You never hit someone you apparently love out of anger. 4
RecentChange Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) Don't make yourself a victim. This man has shown you who he is - believe him!!! I have never ever ever been struck by a man. It takes a special kind of jerk to raise their hand to a woman they supposedly love. What if you get back together with him? What if feelings become stronger than before? What if he gets more passionate and hits you HARDER next time? Do you think it will be easier to leave? Do you think things wouldn't escalate? Why were you scared when he ran after you? I think that is VERY telling. You should NEVER be scared of your partner. And he reacted to your fear by hitting you!?! He proved you should be scared of him. Please please please love yourself enough, and have enough self worth to never get with this man again. If you have access to counseling, I highly recommend it. You don't want to repeat this. You don't want to foolishly think you love someone that would physically harm you. You deserve better. Please, domestic violence is never okay. You know he is capable. Don't go back. Edited August 29, 2015 by RecentChange 3
Samuel_22 Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 Don't make yourself a victim. This man has shown you who he is - believe him!!! I have never ever ever been struck by a man. It takes a special kind of jerk to raise their hand to a woman they supposedly love. What if you get back together with him? What if feelings become stronger than before? What if he gets more passionate and hits you HARDER next time? Do you think it will be easier to leave? Do you think things wouldn't escalate? Why were you scared when he ran after you? I think that is VERY telling. You should NEVER be scared of your partner. And he reacted to your fear by hitting you!?! He proved you should be scared of him. Please please please love yourself enough, and have enough self worth to never get with this man again. If you have access to counseling, I highly recommend it. You don't want to repeat this. You don't want to foolishly think you love someone that would physically harm you. You deserve better. Please, domestic violence is never okay. You know he is capable. Don't go back. I agree with these people, honestly! You have to use their wisdom, he might do it again... BUT he might not! Things change, people change... this is not always true though... I'd say stay away from this person! I would stay away at least... but the only person who can say if has changed or not is YOU
HeaderIsBack Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 I agree with these people, honestly! You have to use their wisdom, he might do it again... BUT he might not! Things change, people change... this is not always true though... I'd say stay away from this person! I would stay away at least... but the only person who can say if has changed or not is YOU I actually think there's a mistake here. From my personal experience and the experience of many others, people actually DON'T change. They may pretend like they've changed, and hold on that image for a couple months... but their true self will always show. 4
Author opalant Posted August 29, 2015 Author Posted August 29, 2015 thanks for the replies everyone, i've been having a good think all of today and i'm not going to take him back, i don't really have the option but everytime i think about it i just remind myself of all the reasons why it would be a stupid idea i don't think he has changed really and i don't think he will, he's said sorry twice for hitting me but when i brought it up to him the other day he just completely shut off like he didn't even care that it happened, the past few times that i've seen him he tries to act charming but the things that made us start arguing have actually gotten worse so giving him another chance would 100% end in heartbreak for me again i don't have a car and the public transport that i normally get to work has changed it's route temporarily because of road works so i have no choice but to get a lift with my ex's dad but i am looking for other work my ex agreed to take his bike to work instead so that i wouldn't have to see him but his dad told me that my ex said that we're friends now so that he can come in the car even though i hadn't spoken to him in months his actions are very confusing, it seems as though he still loves me but he's always talking about other girls to get a reaction out of me so he's most likely just messing with my head 1
Samuel_22 Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 thanks for the replies everyone, i've been having a good think all of today and i'm not going to take him back, i don't really have the option but everytime i think about it i just remind myself of all the reasons why it would be a stupid idea i don't think he has changed really and i don't think he will, he's said sorry twice for hitting me but when i brought it up to him the other day he just completely shut off like he didn't even care that it happened, the past few times that i've seen him he tries to act charming but the things that made us start arguing have actually gotten worse so giving him another chance would 100% end in heartbreak for me again i don't have a car and the public transport that i normally get to work has changed it's route temporarily because of road works so i have no choice but to get a lift with my ex's dad but i am looking for other work my ex agreed to take his bike to work instead so that i wouldn't have to see him but his dad told me that my ex said that we're friends now so that he can come in the car even though i hadn't spoken to him in months his actions are very confusing, it seems as though he still loves me but he's always talking about other girls to get a reaction out of me so he's most likely just messing with my head Well lemme tell you something! The decision you made today just shows how STRONG you are!!! forget about his BS other girls etc etc.... it is just a mind game, he just wants you to feel jealous! You don't feel jealous, because you don't even want him back, because you are such a strong girl! just find another way to go to work, so that you can't see these people anymore! believe me it is the best thing you can do!!! I keep saying it, but I can't stress it enough! try not to see any of these people AT ALL!!! move on you have not met your REAL LOVE yet! Trust me 2
Author opalant Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 I deleted my ex as soon as he hit me, we've not been friends on Facebook for 3 months now but he basically admitted to still checking my profile now and again, my profile is private though and only shows my profile pictures so he doesn't get much out of it? I just keep wondering why he'd even bother to look seen as he left me shouldn't he just not care? Also his sister keeps messaging me, she's younger than me and has looked up to me ever since I got with my ex, his last ex was horrible to her and bullied her and she really liked me, when we split up it hit her hard but I've remained in contact with her because it's not her fault her brother's an idiot. I just feel like I need to cut all contact completely from him and his family but at the same time his family haven't done anything wrong and I really like them, however I feel like it's stopping me from moving on. Any advice?
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