Zzyxx Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 So I've been involved with this woman for 5-6 months now (we are both women). She's in an open relationship, so her gf knows, so it hasn't been too much of a problem. Things were super passionate at first and then around 2 months ago she started to get weird and slow fadey, but we'd talk about it and try and resolve stuff. So around this time she stopped wanting to really kiss me or stay over anymore and I finally just point black asked her what was up. She says she has a lot of cultural guilt and other internal issues about this due to other people in her life like her family and gf and that no one would understand the nature of open relationships etc even though her family doesn't even know. So I tried to be respectful of this and give her time and never initiated any physical contact. Things between us in every other aspect became really great. She was initiating messages all the time and hanging out and seemed more into me than she had been for awhile. So last night we were drinking and watching a movie, and it has been hard for me to scale back and deal with these changes, but I've been trying, so I asked her in a nice way if she was happier and felt better this way, because if she did then that made it all worth it to me. She got upset, I tried to explain that I meant it from a place of really caring about her, and then it turned into a big slightly drunken speech/relationship discussion. It seemed to end alright cause she came and sat back down on my couch. The neighbors were playing this really sexy mood makeout music that we could clearly hear through the wall, and maybe it was wrong, but we were both drunk, so I tried to kiss her, she started kissing me back and we made out. Then she fell asleep/passed out on my bed and we just slept there for awhile and nothing happened. She wakes up after awhile and literally runs out of my apartment with barely a word. I texted her when I woke up this morning just to say I was sorry that I freaked her out and hope she got home safe, but she's clearly ignoring my texts. In my last text I apologized again and told her I'd give her space, and that was it. I know all I can do now is wait, but I feel guilty for trying to kiss her even though her body language said that she was open to it and she kissed me back and she knows how I feel about her. I never would have done it if I would have known this would have happened though. Sometimes she initiates physical contact as well, but I usually always wait for her to do it cause I don't want to freak her out. Is this all my fault? I will definitely give her space, but I just feel really bad and guilty. TLDR: Made out with girl and she ran out of my apartment and won't speak to me
MrBojangles Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) I have to ask, but are you leaving out any details here? Seems if she left running out on you like that, she must have had a good reason. Then not to respond to your texts later either. This makes me wonder if you tried more than just making out with her, while she slept. Were either of you undressed when she woke up? If she's in an open relationship, then why would making out with you be such a big deal? Edited August 29, 2015 by MrBojangles
Gaeta Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 You did nothing wrong. She is a very confused woman trying to figure out herself still. There is nothing you can or should do. Let it go, this is not someone in relationship mode. She will be a waste of your time and feelings. You sound like a good person level headed with respect for others so go out there and find someone who's comfortable in their body and mind. 4
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