adiamond Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Basically, we were together for 11 months and he broke up with me due to the uncertainty of our futures... at least that was his reason (i might be moving for school, and him graduating and might be moving for jobs) made him feel scared to fully invest in me. he said he wanted space to think and I told him that break is like pre breakup. he isn't willing to even try long distance and we spent many hours together talking about a solution and we couldn't get to one. eventually he told me that we should go separate paths. he told me he loved me and i made him so happy but our situation was making him miserable and guilty. he said he didn't see us when we are 30 or marriage, but he saw a "future". (i'm 21 and he's 23) i feel so sad and i miss being with him so much. we had so much fun together. even though we aren't perfect and we both have flaws, he was one of my best friends. I don't think he's coming back to me... we've been NC for about 1 week. i sent him a message right after breakup telling him good luck on his job and he told me thanks and that he thought of me after seeing some things that reminded me of him, and i said that i thought of him too and ended the convo. any recommendations to help? I feel like i should be with someone who would be there for me and would work with me through thick and thing but i miss him...
Oregon_Dude Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I feel like i should be with someone who would be there for me and would work with me through thick and thinKeep re-reading this until it sinks in.
Author adiamond Posted August 28, 2015 Author Posted August 28, 2015 Keep re-reading this until it sinks in. sometimes i question myself. like, what if we were miserable through long distance? what if he's right? like what are the limits of "thick and thin"
aloneinaz Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Basically, we were together for 11 months and he broke up with me due to the uncertainty of our futures... at least that was his reason (i might be moving for school, and him graduating and might be moving for jobs) made him feel scared to fully invest in me. he said he wanted space to think and I told him that break is like pre breakup. he isn't willing to even try long distance and we spent many hours together talking about a solution and we couldn't get to one. eventually he told me that we should go separate paths. he told me he loved me and i made him so happy but our situation was making him miserable and guilty. he said he didn't see us when we are 30 or marriage, but he saw a "future". (i'm 21 and he's 23) i feel so sad and i miss being with him so much. we had so much fun together. even though we aren't perfect and we both have flaws, he was one of my best friends. I don't think he's coming back to me... we've been NC for about 1 week. i sent him a message right after breakup telling him good luck on his job and he told me thanks and that he thought of me after seeing some things that reminded me of him, and i said that i thought of him too and ended the convo. any recommendations to help? I feel like i should be with someone who would be there for me and would work with me through thick and thing but i miss him... Thoughts? Yes, you need to stick around here for a bit and read many of these posts. It's very common that people your age go thru this. College relationships rarely last long term. You both are so young that you should be experiencing other people and life experiences before ever getting super serious. My Mom called it "sowing your oats".. Honestly, it sounds like this young man has his head on right. He knows LDR don't work out, especially at your ages. You both need to be free to explore other opportunities and date. You should TRY and not continue to engage with him until you're over the emotional hurt from the split. Read the NC thread FOR YOU to heal and move forward. You never know what the future will hold. Maybe 5 years down the road you'll both get another opportunity to try again.
Oregon_Dude Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I'm gonna be honest with you. Relationships at your age almost always break up. People don't have their lives established, don't know what they want. Their brains are literally still growing. They can be cruel, cold, and inconsiderate of each other. In many ways, what's happening between you two is supposed to happen. You will understand in a few years. And no, I'm not trying to be condescending. 1
BriNyc82 Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 I'm gonna be honest with you. Relationships at your age almost always break up. People don't have their lives established, don't know what they want. Their brains are literally still growing. They can be cruel, cold, and inconsiderate of each other. In many ways, what's happening between you two is supposed to happen. You will understand in a few years. And no, I'm not trying to be condescending. I'll be honest, I'm 32/F and I'm dating men in their mid 30's who still have no idea who they are or what they want. Guess it's just the luck of the draw
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