Not Accepting Gestures From My Crush

[Daydreamer86]

So it has been 1 year that I have developed a crush on a woman I have worked with for 12 years. I don't think the feelings are going away anytime soon no matter how much I dial back interaction with her.

 

It is my wish to be with her. I have no interest in other women who try to chat me up. Here's the thing. With my crush I never accept any gestures from her. She will offer to buy me food or drinks and even 9 months ago asked if I wanted to join her for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. I purposely declined all offers even offers for a car ride back to work.

 

Yet at the same time I will do gestures like be extra helpful to her and give her candy but at the same time being helpful and giving candy to other work colleagues so that it isn't obvious my intentions.

 

Do I help my cause or hurt my cause in winning her over by doing nice gestures for her but accepting none in return? Why or why not?

[madjac74]

9 months ago she asked you to go to wild wings? Mostly it is sad that you remember this. Also you declined going to have a good time with some coworkers because you thought it would help your future with her??

 

But you give her candy...

 

Is this a joke? I never turn down BWW especially when invited by a woman! Dumb move...9 months ago

[Daydreamer86]

9 months ago she asked you to go to wild wings? Mostly it is sad that you remember this. Also you declined going to have a good time with some coworkers because you thought it would help your future with her??

 

But you give her candy...

 

Is this a joke? I never turn down BWW especially when invited by a woman! Dumb move...9 months ago

 

It is not a joke that I didn't feel comfortable at the time doing anything with her outside of work.

 

Even before I had a crush on her I remember 3 years ago when I was in the hospital I ordered specifically that a woman by her name was not allowed to visit me. I gave specific I instructions to staff.