contel3 Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I've seen a lot of posts on here about rebounds, when it is one, when it isn't and that it is possible to have a healthy relationship straight after a break up only if you checked out a long time ago. That made me wonder....what about when you just came out of a toxic relationship? Or abusive relationship? Is it still considered a rebound if you're not in love with your ex anymore but still struggling with all the toxicity the relationship left behind? If you start a new relationship then, are you doomed to repeat all the mistakes of your past relationship?
frigginlost Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Simple answer: If you have to think whether or not you are ready for a relationship, more than likely you are not.
aloneinaz Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I'll answer with my opinion. The LAST thing anyone should be thinking about when they are ready to date is "rebounding" with the next person or you becoming someone else's rebound. When I was single and dating, I could pick up pretty quickly if the gal was still hung up on her last ex. If they were, there wouldn't be a second date. My last relationship was with a VERY screwed up BPD woman. It was toxic, dysfunctional and emotionally draining. When she ended it, I was DONE. It took me a month to get my feet under me again. By 6 weeks post break up, I was casually dating. It was THE best thing I could of done. The distraction, time spent w/women laughing, talking and having a good time was just what the doctor ordered. I dated for a few months and then met my now 2 year GF that I couldn't be happier with. I also had the opportunity 5-6 months after the ex ended us to say no thanks when she reappeared asking for another chance. 1
Gus Grimly Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I was casually dating. It was THE best thing I could of done. The distraction, time spent w/women laughing, talking and having a good time was just what the doctor ordered. I agree, I had a coffee date with a really lovely woman a few weeks ago and I felt so amazing afterwards. I'm going out with her again tomorrow. It's really casual and just spending time with someone else really helps wash away the bad aftertaste of my Ex. I too had an extremely F'd up relationship and it left me scared. At the time of my BU, the thought of dating wasn't even an option. My Ex on the other hand, couldn't wait to start dating again. She already slept with a guy only weeks after she broke off our engagement. The BIG difference between her and I, she's desperate, has no standards, has no respect for her body, has 3 kids, is divorced and is a bat s*** crazy scumbag. Plus she's no spring chicken. She also thinks very highly of herself, so I assume since she bagged me, she must think she's hot s***, so the quality men out there will come running to her in spades. She's in for a rude awakening if that hasn't happened already. 1
aloneinaz Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 I agree, I had a coffee date with a really lovely woman a few weeks ago and I felt so amazing afterwards. I'm going out with her again tomorrow. It's really casual and just spending time with someone else really helps wash away the bad aftertaste of my Ex. I too had an extremely F'd up relationship and it left me scared. At the time of my BU, the thought of dating wasn't even an option. My Ex on the other hand, couldn't wait to start dating again. She already slept with a guy only weeks after she broke off our engagement. The BIG difference between her and I, she's desperate, has no standards, has no respect for her body, has 3 kids, is divorced and is a bat s*** crazy scumbag. Plus she's no spring chicken. She also thinks very highly of herself, so I assume since she bagged me, she must think she's hot s***, so the quality men out there will come running to her in spades. She's in for a rude awakening if that hasn't happened already. Good to hear you're dipping your toes back into the dating arena Gus. It's good for ya. As far as your ex, she never needs to hear from you again. Your dead silence will bother her, trust me. 1
Gus Grimly Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 Good to hear you're dipping your toes back into the dating arena Gus. It's good for ya. As far as your ex, she never needs to hear from you again. Your dead silence will bother her, trust me. It's thanks to you and your excellent advice that I'm even going out on a date tomorrow. Your encouragement has been a great boon for me. The things you've shared about yourself, what you went through and how you made it out alive gives me hope. I appreciate it very much, so thank you. I will never contact my Ex ever again, you can be sure of that. That chapter of my life has ended. On to bigger and better things!! 1
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