noun123 Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 1.5 months and a bit BU I am doing a tiny bit better. I have not let go at all though. We've been in contact. Every time I have a breakdown I call him and then feel better for a while although we do not discuss reconciliation. I know he is there for me which makes me feel better than demonizing him as someone who doesn't care about me at all anymore. But plot twist, roommates want me out by the end of next month. Normally he is my support for everything and now I feel so lost without him. I know if I asked he would help but Im tired of him seeing me at my weakest points. I don't know the point of this post, just feel like my life is slowly falling apart and the person that has always been there for me is gone.
jphcbpa Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 It is really all falling together. You just cannot see it yet. One day you will look back and see this is happening FOR you not TO you. He has nothing for you. The person who broke you cannot heal you. This is your transformation, journey and lessons needed to be learned. Like a butterfly....it takes time. It is an inside job. Time to take care of you, be gentle and loving to yourself. What would you tell your child if they were in your shoes ?? Now talk to yourself in this same way, manner. 3
xpaperxcutx Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Just because he is still there doesn't mean you should depend on him. I do not know your entire backstory, but if a relationship is broken, you have to initiate NC. By calling him, you are showing him that you are weak. Even if you want him back at this point, you can already tell that he is not looking for a woman who so emotionally dependent. Initiate NC and sort out your affairs. If you continue to turn to him, you will only lose yourself even more.
pidgeon1010 Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 The fact that an ex breaks up with you doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. When my ex blindsided me with the breakup, it was heart rendering and I kept on reaching out to him in my moment of weakness (he sad he would always be there "in some form.") So I emailed, told him how I was feeling, etc. and every single time he responded. Does that mean emailing was a good thing? NO. Does that mean that your breakup is any different from all the breakups that happen everyday? NO because the bottom-line is he still doesn't want to be with you. You need to find another support system and move on. You're only making you self look pathetic in his eyes as someone who had her whole life/happiness invested in him. Scary thought! You are probably confirming to him that he made the right decision. If you truly go NC, you would probably never hear from him again (or he may send a couple of messages and then fade out). Trust me I understand you're hurting but NC is really the best option. I am almost 3 months NC and I think back to some of the emails I sent and CRINGE. 1
drallafi Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 It is really all falling together. You just cannot see it yet. One day you will look back and see this is happening FOR you not TO you. He has nothing for you. The person who broke you cannot heal you. This is your transformation, journey and lessons needed to be learned. Like a butterfly....it takes time. It is an inside job. Time to take care of you, be gentle and loving to yourself. What would you tell your child if they were in your shoes ?? Now talk to yourself in this same way, manner. Wow. This is poetic. I wish I had read this when I was going through my breakup. 1
jphcbpa Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Wow. This is poetic. I wish I had read this when I was going through my breakup. Thank you ! Took me nearly 18 months to see things super clearly. NC and deep inner work and time allows this new vision to manifest. This is a great time for a reset, rebuild the foundation. One day you will thank the ex. They did you a favor...no seriously. They helped bring up all the things for us to work on and work through. That was their reason and purpose. It is up to us to use it and work WITH it...stop fighting it. Surrender...
Satu Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Remember that you are the pivot point in your life - not your ex or anybody else. You are at the centre. Not anybody else. 1
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