did i blow it with her

[nickprior]

I've been talking to this female on POF for a few days and she asked if we should text. I gave her my number and we have been texting. I think I may have came off as too clingy though

 

Here's why

 

(third day of texting)

 

Me: So you'll be out of town all weekend?

her: yea it's my grandpa's 90th birthday

me: well damn, hopefully soon we can find a day I think we'd get along great

her: I think so to

me: do you work today?

her: yea till 3

me: im here till 5. any plans after?

her: idk

me: well feel free to meet up after if you want

(then 20 minutes later)

me: i love my job but some days lunch can't come soon enough!

(then about 6 hours later)

So this book I'm reading is really great. You were right about it!

 

(next day)

me: hey hows it going?

her: sorry ive been working

me: its cool

her: its going good though you?

me: not bad just got off work starting laundry

her: fun

me: eh not the greatest thing to do lol

 

(yesterday afternoon)

me: today might be the slowest day ever

 

she didnt reply

 

did i lose her?

 

i know it seems like ive ben tetxing alot but shes started some conversations to

 

i dont know. i hope i idnt. i think ill take it easy this weekend

Edited August 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed code~T

[Gaeta]

I don't see anything wrong. If she lost interest it's not because of your text or something you said. She probably has more than 1 guy on text. Before you meet her you should not care if she stays or leaves.

 

Here is my suggestion: Book a coffee date with her. She is gone over the weekend so book it for next Tuesday evening. If she says she's not free and doesn't offer an alternative stop texting her and move to your next prospect.

[smackie9]

It's not the amount of texting, it's the lame howzit going conversation. You didn't flirt, you got boring.

[losangelena]

I personally am not a big fan of texting so much, especially with someone I haven't met yet. Maybe tone it down a bit or keep convos to one a day. Besides, you're not really giving her anything to respond to. Also, don't complain about your job or a slow day to a girl you don't know, that's not a way to hook her interest, it just makes you sound like a drag. Keep it light and fun and focused on her, if anything.

[Versacehottie]

You didn't build a connection. There was no flirting. Complaining is just ugh!!@@ If she liked you before the prior two times you spoke, then that was just lackluster on your end and she was responding as if she'd lost interest.

 

I think when a lot of guys complain that girls want to just be texting buddies, they are sending texts like yours above and wondering why the girl won't meet up. You are showing her no incentive to!!! That's boring and impersonal. Especially online where people are flakey in general and she is most likely talking to others. You can be a cute guy but if the conversation goes like that for some of us, there would be no reason to meet up.

 

I wouldn't say it was the clingiest (though a touch) but it did say that it could easily head in that direction and the content of what the relationship would be like was already not so great, dull, passive, a touch insecure. Sorry, that's my assessment. Sorry, sorry. take it as constructive criticism. Girls feel good when they feel they have a connection that is special; they attribute it to you. Your texts were the equivalent of: hi, wanna go out? Just like why some guys say cold approach on street is hard. Because they feel it's like: hi, wanna go out? A lot of girls don't respond well to that and it's a simple rejection. The cold approaches that happen out in real life and work and same as from online have a personal connection. Even asking her out, you didn't pose it as fun: you'd love that restaurant we talked about the other night or whatever. You didn't expose any of your personality or your likes or your enthusiasm.

 

Ok good luck

[aloneinaz]

I personally am not a big fan of texting so much, especially with someone I haven't met yet. Maybe tone it down a bit or keep convos to one a day. Besides, you're not really giving her anything to respond to. Also, don't complain about your job or a slow day to a girl you don't know, that's not a way to hook her interest, it just makes you sound like a drag. Keep it light and fun and focused on her, if anything.

 

 

 

This^^ Stop texting so much. Let me ask. Have you spoken on the phone with her yet? Why am I asking this? Because when I was OLD, we'd email through the site. If that went well, we'd move on to some texts. If that went well, I'd call them. You'd be surprised how many times I thought a gal was fun, witty and outgoing thru email and text. Then, on the phone with them I'd be shocked at their terrible personality or lack of a personality and other negative things or traits. Of course, I'd lose interest at that point and they wouldn't hear from me again.

 

 

My point is that if you connect w/someone OLD and text a bit and like what they say, call them THAT DAY or the next day and ask them out. If they are interested in you, they will commit to a date/time. Then, STOP texting them. Don't invest so much energy, time and thoughts on someone you haven't even met.

[Diezel]

I don't see anything wrong.

 

I don't see anything wrong either... if the OP was a girl who had 0 interest in dating this girl and was instead trying to schedule a day to go together to do manis and pedis.

 

I got so bored reading those texts, I dozed off for 3 minutes.

[Vintage79]

Super lame texting - if you're trying to come across as boring, you've likely succeeded. Moreover, sending a stream of texts and her not responding to them, doesn't send great signals either. No idea if you lost her, but you're not putting yourself on a good trajectory.

 

I know if a woman I hadn't yet met was texting me like that - I'd bail on her...you've successfully communicated not one, but two ultra unattractive features...hopefully it still works out for you...