RecentChange Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Gosh, I don’t know – I wouldn’t change much! (maybe my major in college – but not relationship wise). At 21 I was living in a beach town going to a good college. My high school boyfriend (first “love”) and I had broken up the year prior – wasn’t any big dramatics, we had just simply grown apart and would be heading our separate ways. No broken hearts etc. I was SINGLE and living with a mixed group of friends – We partied hard and often – but also worked hard / did well in school. I was living it up! Happy to not be committed to any one in particular, I had this great 28 year old F’ buddy that I really explored and expanded my sexual experiences with. I learned pretty quickly that as a young, decent looking, and confident girl – it was pretty easy to get the attention of any guys I was interested in. I learned how to be bold, and forward, and to not be a afraid to assert myself. I did a lot of casual dating, was pretty dead set on “not having a boyfriend” but met people, dated etc and enjoyed myself. Sure, I kissed a few frogs, but I am glad I dated a variety of people back then, and had a wide variety of experiences. So no, I really wouldn’t change much! I look back on those years as …. Hum, they were adventurous, and while I am glad I had the experiences that I did – at 37 I wouldn’t find it appropriate for me to be living that lifestyle now. But it sure was fun when I was 21. Glad I did it when I could. (and at 37, I am not married but in a long term relationship – met him when I was 23 – Yeah we were young, maybe meeting him a little later in the game would have been better – but I still do not have regrets)
TouchedByViolet Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Don't listen to your parents I've made good decisions since 21 but if I could go back to say 16 I would say have more relationships and focus on fun. I let opportunities pass me by in my hs and college years.
newmoon Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 i would go back and tell myself to date even more than i did, and to walk away at the very first red flag and/or sign of trouble. never bother with giving a second chance, life is too short to waste time on losers.
shet Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 I'd tell myself firstly to work on having more of a life because everyone around me is basically the living dead, and to stop comparing myself to others, and I'd tell myself to stop thinking or caring about meeting someone because I have no idea how badly or on how many levels I'm wasting my time. I'd also give myself the heads up on a few medical things that I only found out about later.
Two Pump Chump Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 Avoid damaged people. Cut cheaters out of your life immediately. Learn what NC is & means. Based on what I read in the Break Up section and hearing about the terrorist texting, seeking revenge online, smearing their reputation, stalking, murder / suicides, etc. they really should have classes on this in Middle / High School. Back in my "Day", you only had home phones and answering machines. So when you got dumped, No Contact happened whether you liked it or not. Plus, you had little recourse to do anything really stupid aside from leaving messages on an answering machine. Today, Dumpee's who are not usually in the best frame of mind are required to have strong self-control due to texting, mobile phones, email, social media. This also makes it a lot more difficult to suffer in silence when you have your friends, family, their friends, co-workers, etc. that see / know everything the dumper / dumpee is doing / saying / feeling. I bet 50% of all the questions in the Break Up Section are regarding Social Media / No Contact and most simple do not have a clue or the self-control or idea on what to do / not do. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 I wouldn't waste time and so much angst on guys that were not that into me. 2
Hopeful30 Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 To be honest I still don't know wtf is going on lol to me dating is easy, but everyone else complicates with labels and such No advice. I've done pretty good up until now
ThaWholigan Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 1.Take pride in your appearance 2. Buy Pasante's instead of Durex 3. Make sure if you want to date, the rest of your life is in order.
kendahke Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 I'm only 21 and was wondering what advice you would give yourself relating to dating and relationships if you were 21 again? What would you of changed, or done differently? This is more for the experienced and older crowd on loveshack. I'm interested to see what comes out of this. Listen to your intuition. For myself, I don't think I'd change anything because then I wouldn't be who I am today at 55.
SawtoothMars Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 I would convince myself that I was attractive and that my personal flaws are not something to live in shame over. 1
sportygirl89 Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 Do not date divorced people (well recently divorced meaning less than 6 months). Those are a mess!!! That and they do not know what they want.
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