Meridien Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I have decided to stop looking for a partner until I can figure out what is going on inside my own head. I do not have any interest in a man who is not over the top, exciting, and fun. I was married to a man who at first seemed like this until his mask dropped. I will never find a truly loving relationship if I continue to be this way. I lie to myself about who they really are. I do not know if I have the capability to love. Am I scared to authentically love someone or am I unable to.
Ami1uwant Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 You can love. You need to see a counselor about this. You may be unrealistic when it comes to real life together because you love the newness and carefree early stages.
Fleur de cactus Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) Do you have friends? and socialize with others? Can you miss someone, like missing a friend, family members, a need to reconnect and happy to see someone again? Do you give gifts to other people without expecting them to pay you back in certain way? Do you feel sad and cry when you miss someone? By your experience with people and relationships, do you like people for who they are, or you like what you do together or what they can give you? Then if the answer is yes, you can love, you only need the right person. Edited August 28, 2015 by Fleur de cactus
Hopeful30 Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I just think its harder for some of us to truly connect to others, which is what is required if you are to really love someone. It could be a variety of things, such as an unconventional childhood (shaped you differently), abuse in your past, or simply feeling and thinking differently than 90% of people. It just is what it is. The first thing that comes to mind is that you are unable to love yourSELF, and that's why you allow yourself to be kept in these situations. Focus on loving yourself first, and then we can talk about someone else.
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