Biosavantay Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Hi all, I'm new to this form and this is my first post. I have been dating my boyfriend since last year December. I'm in my twenties never been married and have no kid's while he's in his thirties, divorced with kids. I don't date guys with kids but because he told me he had one child, I assumed it wouldn't hurt. However, I recently found out that he actually has 5 kids and only one with his ex wife. I wish he was honest with me from the start, the truth always comes out. His son with his ex recently came to live with him and he engages in all kinds of activities with him but when it just us, he would always want to stay home. I confronted him about it and he says that when his son was away he was depressed but now that he's here he's alive. So does that mean all that time without his son being here we were in a dead relationship? Honestly, since I've found out about his other kids and witness the interaction, he favors his son with his ex more than the others saying that he was there during the pregnancy and to watch him grow up. Is this the kind of man I should be with. Today is my birthday and I did not want to spend it alone but I should have anyway because he's sleeping and said some sorry excuse of a happy Birthday. I feel so alone, I know he missed his son and is trying to make up for lost time but at the same time he's pushing me away. Although I do love him, I know there is better out there for me. What are your thoughts?
ScotchBeef Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 If i was in your shoes i would be gone. it all depends if you are willing to take on that extra baggage. Im all for divorced parents doing the right thing and being there for their kids, but if that is putting to much strain on the relationship you should move on, before you get in too deep.
Methodical Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Anytime you feel squeezed out, it hurts. It's quite concerning that you've dated him approx. 8 months and have just recently learned he has four more children. Given the amount of time lapsed before you made this discovery is very telling about his character. He obviously doesn't spend quality time with his other children, otherwise, you'd have known about them months ago. He doesn't sound like a standup kind of guy to me, but there may be extenuating circumstances that we don't know so it's hard to say he's a deadbeat dad. For all we know, he does support them financially and there may be a reason he doesn't have visitation rights (which kind of does speak ill of his character.) Why stay somewhere and with someone that makes you feel less than you deserve? Sounds like it's time to move on, and you know it, but want confirmation. Never settle for less than you deserve!
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I would've been gone the moment I found out he lied about the number of children he has. That is disturbing. How can you possibly trust him? I'd move on. 5
Versacehottie Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Hi all, Although I do love him, I know there is better out there for me. What are your thoughts? I know there is better out there for you too! Happy Birthday and yes, move on. Don't waste another minute of your precious life.
empresario Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Lying about something so big for so long is very disturbing. But know what's worse? He's obviously immature. Very immature. Multiple kids with multiple women? He must have really loved them...you know...to knock them up then not care enough to be in hid kids' lives. Things aren't looking good here.
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Do you really want to be saddled with a liar who has child support obligations for 5 children? Where will he have any money to live? How can you be with somebody who is so callous toward his other 4 children. This guy is a problem. The only solution for you is to run FWIW, happy birthday. Hopefully next year will be better. 1
usernametaken Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Hi all, I'm new to this form and this is my first post. I have been dating my boyfriend since last year December. I'm in my twenties never been married and have no kid's while he's in his thirties, divorced with kids. I don't date guys with kids but because he told me he had one child, I assumed it wouldn't hurt. However, I recently found out that he actually has 5 kids and only one with his ex wife. I wish he was honest with me from the start, the truth always comes out. His son with his ex recently came to live with him and he engages in all kinds of activities with him but when it just us, he would always want to stay home. I confronted him about it and he says that when his son was away he was depressed but now that he's here he's alive. So does that mean all that time without his son being here we were in a dead relationship? Honestly, since I've found out about his other kids and witness the interaction, he favors his son with his ex more than the others saying that he was there during the pregnancy and to watch him grow up. Is this the kind of man I should be with. Today is my birthday and I did not want to spend it alone but I should have anyway because he's sleeping and said some sorry excuse of a happy Birthday. I feel so alone, I know he missed his son and is trying to make up for lost time but at the same time he's pushing me away. Although I do love him, I know there is better out there for me. What are your thoughts? He lied and told you he had one kid. He has 5 KIDS. That's a HUGE lie. Even worse, he presumably he doesn't have a relationship with most of this gaggle of kids. That makes him a deadbeat dad. I don't even need to read the rest of your post. Stay away from this guy. 1
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