oasisfancortes Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Please, I understand that I have made mistakes and I am trying my best to improve myself. I feel like this is a very personal and private space to vent and I would appreciate supportive replies and encouragement to better myself. I recently began dating a friend from high school. we are both in college. She just went on a trip to her home, which is out of the country. Right before she left, she said she was deeply in love with me. I told her I loved her back. (We had been dating for 3 weeks to that point, the day after she went home for her trip). In retrospect, I felt like I said "ILY" too fast and felt embarrassed. Also, I've noticed myself get attached to her, waiting on her messages sometimes, wondering when she will, and getting offended at the smallest things like how we don't act lovey dovey over messages as much as before, although we still do. It went from like 100% lovey dovery to like 60%. I feel like I am getting too attached and overthinking things. I don't want to be that guy, who in the past, has messed things up because he can't keep his head straight, and is paranoid and worrying about small things like the length of sentences we exchange compared to before. I'm a pensive person, and have always been. I was so out of wack one night because I thought I offended her over messages, I felt angry at myself and a little at her! I've come to realize I am several things: stubborn, insecure, and fearful of expressing myself because if I do, I think i will cause a rift and push her away. I don't like that I am like this so early on. She's told me before she's wanted space in relationships, and I forgot that, but now I am reminding myself. I'm thinking it's because I'm coming off a bad breakup this past Christmas and just trying to find my groove again. I want attention, and since she's gone I fear while I tell her things I'll just drive her away by the time she comes back. Help : (
La.Primavera Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I think it is great that you can look at your emotions objectively and know where your weaknesses are. Many people just ignore the fact they have a problem and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. In that respect I think it is a really good sign. Anxiety issues are common, so know that you are not alone in your struggle. It is important to try and find a way of managing those negative emotions when they appear. Some people find help from a therapist who can give them strategies to cope with their emotional responses, while others prefer to read books with similar advice. Whatever you decide to do, I encourage you to at least try something to change this pattern because it will only escalate if it is ignored. The fact she is away right now seems like the perfect time to focus on yourself and self improvement. It may not be easy to break old habits and responses, but with time and the right help things should start to get better. Good luck!
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