Dorian85 Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 A little back story. Ive known this particular girl for a long time. We've just recently started hanging out. Casual dates here and there, nothing too serious. I've noticed her texting habits are pretty sporatic. Sometimes she'll text back within a few minutes. Other times it'll be hours-a full day later. Anyways, I have a pretty busy life with my career so I tend to not dwell on lack of contact between myself and whoever, but this one situation has got me a bit irked for one reason: I shoot her a casual text to see when she is free to get together again. As usual, I don't expect a reply back soon because of her aforementioned texting habits. BUT, its been 24 hours since the initial text. I've seen her on FB and posting Instagram photos since my last text, so I know she has seen my text,.she is just choosing to ignore it for whatever reason. I'm sure this scenario sounds familiar. What was your approach? In the end, Im not really that upset about it, more irritated because I hate being ignored in any circumstance. It just shows a lack of respect. I'm definitely going to be moving on from her, just wanted to see what the general consensus was for this scenario.
organizedchaos Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 My approach would be to take that as lack of interest, keep my dignity, and move on. 1
Author Dorian85 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 Yeah, I'm definitely taking it as a lack of interest. Its a little confusing though. On our prior dates she was giving off a lot of interest. Told me to call her/text her again, etc.... She may also be seeing someone else, which is also fine. Just the lack of honesty I find a bit unsettling considering we were good friends before we started dating a bit.
bachdude Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 First, I would suggest that you not simply ask her "when she is free to get together again". Be more decisive about it. Pick an actual day and a time and ask her out. Maybe she wants that from you - it's more confident, attractive, and romantic. Women love confidence; surely you know that. So that could be a reason right there she didn't answer. Also, sometimes people honestly do not see a text. That has happened to me before when I was busy. I'd suggest actually calling her and asking her on a date the proper way. And you will get so much more information by hearing the tone in her voice. Don't leave the message on a voice mail asking her out or hide behind texts. Talk to her directly. There's my 2 cents worth. Good luck. 2
kgcolonel Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I think that I would follow up the original text with a "never mind" text. I get very irritated at this with friends as the proposed get together will tie me up for that time period not knowing whether or not we have plans. If asked about the "never mind" text, I would be up front, I figured you weren't that interested or I wanted to make plans and didn't hear from you so I made other plans. Maybe next time.......
organizedchaos Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I think that I would follow up the original text with a "never mind" text. I get very irritated at this with friends as the proposed get together will tie me up for that time period not knowing whether or not we have plans. If asked about the "never mind" text, I would be up front, I figured you weren't that interested or I wanted to make plans and didn't hear from you so I made other plans. Maybe next time....... Never, ever, do that. Shows weakness. 1
angel.eyes Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 She's not really interested. In this case, actions speak louder than words. Let it go. If she never gets back to you, so be it. On to the next. 2
Author Dorian85 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) yeah, Im definitely getting the "not interested" point of view. I guess the only thing that is kind of screwing with me is the fact that things were going so well between us. She showed obvious signs of interest, and I reciprocated. I guess Im just not prepared to admit that she has most likely gone cold. There needs to be a serious reform in the texting code, or just general interaction code, haha. People have to know that even the most brutal truth is always better than flat out ignoring someone. Indifference is WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY worse than bluntly telling someone "hey, not interested, sorry" But then again, I think people these days feel they don't "owe" anything to anyone. Edited August 27, 2015 by Dorian85
anduina Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 When she responds, don't respond back for the same length of time or much longer. Let her see you posting everywhere during the interim. We teach people how to treat us. 2
Author Dorian85 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 At this point, im not expecting a reply back at all. Weird thing is, we are kind of in the same social circle. So Im sure I will run into her again sometime soon. THAT will be awkward. Could be fun though....:p
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I'm sure you phrased it that way to be polite, respectful of her time but it can be interpreted as a half-hearted invitation. A stronger invite would have been would you like to do X with me at [time] on [date]? A lack of reply to that would conclusively prove lack of interest. Her failure to respond to your lukewarm invite could be her wanting you to chase you. I'm not saying that she is playing that game but it is a possibility. Personally, I'd let it go. When you see her in person be friendly, polite but aloof. If she asks what happened, point blank tell her you interpreted her failure to respond as lack of interest on her part & you didn't want to be the guy that can't take no for an answer. If you still want to date her, tell her that but do it in a cheeky manner & say with a wink (yes an actual wink) that the ball's in her court. 2
Author Dorian85 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 Some good advice. Thanks. I feel as though my title is a little misrepresentative of my current mood. I guess I'm just more irritated at the ignoring than anything else, especially since this girl isn't just some random I met a week ago. But in retrospect, my text was a little weak. Definitely going to call next time to eliminate any doubt about the situation. File this one in the "lesson learned" department. 1
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