wakamiya Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 There's this guy I've been friends with for over a year. We do really silly things like write each other names inside of our own. I told him I want what he wants.. and he said he didn't want things to turn out like this (we've fought months back and everything got ruined) and I thought we were going to fix everything. It was the nicest thing that has happened in awhile.. He says he still wants this.. but now Schools coming up for both of us in a few months. And he's trying to get a job, I told him "you find time for the things you care about" in an email and he mentioned "you had the nerve to tell me that I don't care about you" and ... says he has to go We have very similar lives. right now we're both unnemployed, homeschooled, 17 year olds. I don't understand what I did. I thought he wanted this.. and I was just trying to spend time with him while I can.. he's never around now, and he's not even in school yet or employed. It just seems like he's trying to stay away from me, and it feels really bad. If he wants to be with me why would he do this? I used to do a lot of things together with him
XNemesisX Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 It is absolutely the truth that you make time for the things that are important to you. For example, I used to work and go to school full time but I always made time for my ex when we were together. He used to do the same. Then, toward the end of my relationship my ex was out of college, just working, and would actually use the excuse of "studying for the LSAT" as a reason he could never see me. That is when I knew things were going downhill. You know how it is...when you really like someone you MAKE time for them while someone who doesn't mean so much to you, you will tell that person you are busy. You are only 17, and I know this sounds bad but more than likely you wouldn't end up with this person anyway. Once you go to college you will have a whole new perspective on life. You will meet so many people, that I seriously doubt you will even like this character anymore. I wouldn't worry too much about it, and I would behave as though I was also too busy for him, if I were you. Give him a dose of his own medicine. I know it hurts, but you are right when you told him you make time for what is really important to you. It sucks not being on the top of the priority list and it sounds like he is not too busy for you at all. I used to tell my ex "Donald Trump is probably VERY busy but he makes time for his girlfriend, doesn't he?" Remember that.... Move on and look forward to the years ahead where you will meet the person you are really meant to be with...
moimeme Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 when you really like someone you MAKE time for them while someone who doesn't mean so much to you, you will tell that person you are busy. I don't agree at all. There are times in life when you have so many obligations, you just do not have the time. When I was doing my B.A. honours paper, I had to basically stay in and write for weeks on end - because I had other courses as well. We're talking writing a 70-page paper which had to be defended, plus my other papers, etc. Much as I would have loved to have seen my bf at the time, I just could not. He decided he was being neglected and ditched me. Just before my defense. It wasn't that I didn't want to see him but I simply did NOT have the time. In adult life, obligations sometimes take precedence. You may not want to deal with them, but you have to, and sometimes other things - and people - have to take a back seat to that.
XNemesisX Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 Yes, I understand what you are saying moi. BUT everyone has at least 5 minutes to call someone at the very least. I worked FULL time and was taking 21 hours of college courses spring 04. I was still able to manage to at least call my boyfriend and talk for 5-10 minutes if I didn't have time to see him that day. And I don't think that this guy of hers is THAT busy as you were describing was the case for you: originally posted by wakamiya he's never around now, and he's not even in school yet or employed.
Author wakamiya Posted May 12, 2005 Author Posted May 12, 2005 thanks XNemesisX and moimeme!.. you're right, he's not busy at all. I keep getting this bad feeling and thinking I should call him or something, but I don't want to come off as the weaker person.? its about time I got a job anyway, and that's what I'm going to do today
Recommended Posts