I was dumped, going NC, but was I too harsh to think she'll ever come back?

[Piikm]

She drove me insane our whole relationship..always seeking outside attention. Shes a 10 so she got it but never dealt with it how I would consider respectful of me and our relationship.

 

One guy she commissioned work from she told me she would drop after the work was finished escalated to become a "best friend" and going to concerts with and other events. After telling me she was attracted to him before we met, telling me he can be flirty, and even going as far as using him as a weapon of jealousy in arguments (once sending me pics of him shirtless cause my new trainer at my gym was a woman and she was jealous)

Day in and day out she was like a fan girl for him, repeating the same stories even. The text between them would happen ALL the time and FREQUENTLY.

I lost my cool, broke up with her, she blocked me in every way so I wrote a TERRIBLE email and sent it to her frien'enemy to give to her (knowing it would leak to everyone she knew)

I insulted everything about her...I was blinded by anger over an incident where she spent the day with him, came back late, and acted nervous. I was convinced at that moment she was cheating and I spit venom into the email, even threatening to pass out her nude photos if she tried some revenge tactic on me (I was ready to kill that guy and was drunk when I wrote it)

 

A week later we were talking again. She called me delusional and said I had to low a confidence to date an attractive woman.

But another incident where she was "testing me" led to her trying to make me jealous in

public, calling me names for an hour or more in public, refusing to get in the car...I through money at her and told her to get a cab..and called her a bitch.

I went back to get her and she proceeded to continue back mouthing me. Saying how I was unevolved and how above me she was and not be able to tell her "friend" what I did now.

 

I initiated contact with a nice girl in this time, and told her. She was furious but I had the chance and this girl was waaaaaay calmer..sadly, a back-up plan. This was another strike against me but I told her to go on a date, tit for tat, even the score.

She did and the guy she went with sent me a violent text in the middle of their date!

She proclaimed he took my number off her phone while she was in the bathroom. She sent some texts along enforcing the text he sent...then 9 hours later the "I'm sorry, I love you, he took my phone, I was scared to tell the truth till he was gone!"

And another strike for me cause I called her a "Lying cunt"

 

This weekend was the end.

She told me she was going to the beach with her mom and kids. We had a little argument over her blocking then unblocking a call on her FB who was asking her for dates. I saw her block him in front of me then the day she was leaving for the beach unblocked cause I checked her FB. She accused me of creeping her FB, I apologized and said I just "noticed and found it odd"

She said she was sorry and how it was a friends family member and didn't want to create conflict then said "Don't worry, I'm committed to making us work"

Thats text was at 4pm....then radio silence till 2pm the next day.

 

I picked her up that day, she said she slept in. Told me a quick story how the kids were on rides. We spent Sat together and an odd thing happened. While initiating making love she wanted me to tell her who I thought she was f*cking...I felt like she wanted me to say his name and I wouldnt, she kept asking and I refused. I was turned off and couldnt make love to her. She was furious...yelled how lucky I was and how so many men would want to be in my place..killed my mood even more. Eventually we did have sex but it was just me being selfishly aggressive towards her..no love or pleasure for her.

Sunday we go out again...First odd thing is she ask me if I know about this amazing restaurant in the city, I dont and find it odd but dont question why she asked. Then she tells me how her "friend" is sending a gift, then tells me how her friend told her "if he thinks your ****ing thay guy so bad you should just do it" then to top it off she exclaims how I need to stop saying how he's a guy doing work for her and say her friend out of respect.

 

Sunday night sex...same or deal..I am turned off and unless I'm selfish and agressive I lose interest in her. Basically if it's slow and nice and she's on top...nothing "works"

 

Monday she dumps me, calls me a selfish lover, tells me to call that girl I took on a date a few weeks back etc.. I just shrug it off.

I get home and just decide "gonna look at her IG"

BOOM! Pics she uploaded Sat morning, her and him at that restaurant she mentioned on Sun night!

I'm flabbergasted!

I do see red again...I text her and call her a whore..she swears they are pics from 2 weeks ago she just uploaded. But come on...the pieces all fit right?!?

 

She begs me to come over so she can explain. I expect answers, I get NONE. I get her trying to touch me, hug me, rub my thigh, drag her calf against me crotch as she stands up. She says we're toxic, says she thinks we need to be friends, she loves me and maybe one day we can be together. Mentions "friends with benefits" if I agree to wear condoms outside the relationship, I'm disgusted by the idea. I admit, I did try to initiate sex at that moment...she was pushing me and seducing me but said no moments before. She even asked me to delete the texts from earlier with talks of sex from this weekend in them.

 

I walked out kind of in a daze. Angry but calm from her kissing me goodbye, asking to talk tomorrow, the big hug...

 

But I got home..I understood. She was found out! She feared my revenge! Feared me telling people what she did! She was seducing and calming me to keep the incident hushed. Worried I'd spread the word. Maybe worries our texts about sex would get back to him and maybe Fri night established them as a couple?!?

 

I sent her a long, critical but not scathing text explaing I was onto her game and wanted no contact. I explained how bad a choice she made and how poor her treatment of me was during our relationship. Explained she crossed all lines in terms of boundaries and how vile her actions were.

 

Her response was insane "Seems you don't want my friendship cause I didn't allow you to exploit me for sex"

I just answered "I'm confused at who and what you've become"

Her last text was so cold and generic..

"That's unfortunate, I'm sorry to hear it and wish you well in whatever you do professionally and personally. Goodbye"

 

Relationship was 50% amazing 50% a disaster. She pushed my buttons, I saw red. Seems she took the final kill and dropped for him with no looking back.

 

I'm going NC but I do really love her...I dont think she ever contact me and it pains me. My words cut her deeper then her actions I think she believes and she's has to much pride to initiate contact. It saddens me she's gone forever but I have this hope of 3months, 6months etc... she will try..

 

Maybe we are to toxic, to broken. The chemistry was electric and everything and everyone seems muted or the volume of life is turned down a little. Even the dates I've had during this troubled time when we were apart I could yawn in these women's faces.

 

Feel like she's gone and was so unique I'll be forever looking for an exact replacement.

[TaraMaiden2]

You had the cholesterol-filled carbonara.

Delicious, amazing, a filling and flavoursome dining experience.

 

Too much of that is really, really bad for your arteries.

 

Maybe the dish of the day you next select may not be to the same level of your perceived quality or excellence.

 

But it will be the best thing ever, because hopefully, you'll begin enjoying something that is good for you instead.

[mightycpa]

She drove me insane our whole relationship..Feel like she's gone and was so unique I'll be forever looking for an exact replacement.

That truly is insane.

[Piikm]

So I posted about a week ago about my GF and her interactions with her "Frien'emies" ex-boyfriend and how it irked me and this back and forth she has with this girl seems childish.

I also talked about how she was, in my opinion, emotionally unavailable..

 

Well, I dropped my passive aggressive stance and told her exactly how I felt. Not only that some new strange stuff has popped up leading me to believe all this is culminating to the beginning of the end..

 

So, last Tue she posted a pic on her IG of her new leggings and like clockwork this "buddy" hit the like button in less then 3 seconds. I shot her a text just saying "Like clockwork as always...I think we may be done, why dont you give me a call"

I explained their interactions were odd, I explained this guy noticable has a crush on her...her response was..

"I know he does, he told me this before me and you even met."

She went on to tell me I have the amount of texting they do blown out pof proportion and its very rare. She went on to say things like "He dated and ****ed one of my friends, Id never touch him!" and "Hes a Vegan, with a pony tail, and a bunch of cats!" also adding "I seriously wish you could meet him and understand why he is no threat"

 

She basically ended that discussion saying for me to pick and choose her friends sets a bad precedent and she doesnt want to start doing that. She also basically said I was acting crazy and blowing nothing into something cause Im insecure.

 

As far as her being emotionally unavailable...she says thats just her. She isnt the touchy feely romantic type. I have to accept that I guess.

 

Heres the kicker...we have this talk Tue morning, Tue night before bed we talk until around midnight on the phone.

I get up at 7am and check my "Pics friends have liked on IG and when"..

I see she went and liked a picture of him from 4 days ago an hour after we got off the phone.

I called her and said this is basically disrespectful. She again says Im crazy and childish, especially checking her "Likes and Times" (she taught me this by the way cause she would monitor what and when I liked stuff and bring it up against me)

I just let it go and made it known I felt it as a disrespect.

 

As it stands now since that day she has liked one photo of his of his sisters graduation (which I can concede too) but low and behold her selfie she posted 2 days ago is the first pic he hasnt liked of hers instantly since me and her have been dating (6 months)

To me, its starting to look like a clear sign she made have warned him...I'm actively waiting for her to post another shot and see if this trend continues. if it does I'm gonna say something along the lines of "I see you talked to him and gave him a type of warning huh?"....to which I'm sure Ill be called crazy and childish.

 

 

Even this weekend was a clusterf*ck of silly stuff as usual.

 

I got her sapphire studs and a necklace (nothing to lavish, we've been together 6 months and $300 isnt much to me)

She refused to take them and now I have to return them. She started her argument off by saying things like she doesnt wear nice stuff, she doesnt wear sapphires etc.. then ended up saying things like "I dont wear ugly grandma mall jewlery"...that kind of hurt my feelings but I sucked it up.

 

Last nights argument was the best..

I said to her while we were out "Your the most beautiful girl in this entire room"

She was livid...saying I'm using lines, saying its cheesey, saying "I know I am far from beautiful let alone the best looking woman in this room so what your doing right now is lying to my face. Your comparing me to other women based on beauty and making it a value and its not even true"

 

That also hurt...Its like I cant win with her...

She says things like "I dont want better or bad, I just want neutral" or things like "I just exist"..

I feel in a world of black and white she just wants grey and mundane...I dont get it.

[Buddhist]

This relationship is going nowhere, you're both in blame mode and now it will just be a death spiral of lashing out at each other. End it now before it gets worse.