nellbell86 Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I think I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm just going to be alone now. I know my ex was/is my great love, and I will never stop loving him in order to be with anyone else. If it's not him, it's no one. I think I just need to accept where I'm at now and focus on my life and accepting being on my own, cos unless we can work things out, I see no other way. It makes me sad that if we don't get back together, that I will never be held, kissed, hold hands, snuggle and watch a movie, all those relationship things, but I just don't want them with anyone else, the thought of doing that with someone else makes me feel even worse than the thought of not doing it at all. I am grateful I have found this love, even though it has left me for now, and I hope someday it may return, or that I may just find peace with loving him from afar and being on my own.
casey.lives Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 we often are left thinking about the last person but it really is meaningless, isn't it. you are mistaking residual thoughts with having importance. don't be melodramatic. Be alone because you don't love anyone. if you loved him... you would have done something. don't feel ashamed of being single and don't glamour a ex lover ... there exes for a reason. 1
Gus Grimly Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 ..... or that I may just find peace with loving him from afar and being on my own. Seriously? Wow, you've put this guy on a diamond laden pedestal. Did you also give him a golden majestic crown to wear? Do you flourish rose pedals upon the ground he walks on? He must be the greatest thing to ever grace this undeserving world. Seriously, snap out of it. Who is this guy? Brad Pitt? He's just some random face in a crowd of billions, no one of special magnificence. You should put yourself on that pedestal and wear that crown instead. 5
Author nellbell86 Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 I get what you're saying, but to me, he was of special magnificence. I'm not interested in the crowd of billions, only the one. I'd rather be on my own than not with him.
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Attachments = Clinging/grasping, which lead to suffering. The main problem here is that you refuse to let go of something you permitted to be a source of your pleasure and contentment. Sadly - as can be evidenced by the mere existence of this forum - placing your dependence of any or all future happiness, on being with one other person for the remainder of your life, is both unrealistic and untenable. Everything, without any exception whatsoever, has a beginning a middle and an end. There is nothing in existence that does not adhere to this principle. The way for you to be able to pick yourself up, and move on from this dolorous state, is to see the truth, the factual honesty in that, and recognise, acknowledge and accept that that very fact applies to you, to me, to all of us. When something is over, it is far more personally liberating to be grateful for the joy we found in it, while it lasted, and readily accept its departure, am]nd willingly let it go. It takes a long time to achieve this state of Mind. I've been re-conditioning my thinking for quite some time now, and I'm almost there, but some things are hard to accept. I know. You need to be determined to change your mind-set to view things in a more positive light. More importantly though - you first have to WANT to change your mind-set to that way of thinking. How much do you WANT to not feel like this any more?
aloneinaz Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I think I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm just going to be alone now. I know my ex was/is my great love, and I will never stop loving him in order to be with anyone else. If it's not him, it's no one. I think I just need to accept where I'm at now and focus on my life and accepting being on my own, cos unless we can work things out, I see no other way. It makes me sad that if we don't get back together, that I will never be held, kissed, hold hands, snuggle and watch a movie, all those relationship things, but I just don't want them with anyone else, the thought of doing that with someone else makes me feel even worse than the thought of not doing it at all. I am grateful I have found this love, even though it has left me for now, and I hope someday it may return, or that I may just find peace with loving him from afar and being on my own. You know what, I dumped a girl a long time ago in a gentle manner. I stayed in contact with her to help her get through it. She said all the same things to me that you posted here. She could never let another man touch her, hold her, kiss her. She had no desire to ever be w/anyone again, blah, blah, blah... All this same, dramatic, over the top rubbish you're saying. Three months later she was banging a new guy that she fell for hard. I was happy for her as she was a good person but just wasn't for me. You need to work on your self esteem and self worth. NO ONE is worth feeling like you say you do. 1
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