jj99 Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 **I apologize for the length in advance. Maybe itll help you, maybe it will be a tale of woe, maybe youll have some advice, I just needed to vent** My boyfriend of 8 years and I broke up about 3 months ago and I was really having a hard time coping. Not being able to deal w/ the pain anymore, I began to throw myself into my new job-despite how much I hate it- and forced myself to fill my time and weekends w/activities and positive friends and family. He's still not a distant memory yet, but I began to feel slightly good. I guess I was feeling so much better, that my energy began to attract ppl to me-I began to make new friends at my new job and ppl began to invite me out a lot. 1 night we all went to happy hour and this 1 guy that we work w/came. Ive talked to him a few times and I always thought he was kind of cute and I really liked joking around w/ him b/c we have the same type of humor, but I never really noticed him in that way. We have an in-office instant msgr system at work. The next day after happy hour, he msgd me to say that it he enjoyed talking to me and we should all get together for drinks soon. I said that sounded good to me and we began to talk. Some days we would talk all day long - getting to know/asking each other stuff, cracking jokes and just bs'ing-some days it was just here and there b/c obvs. we were both busy working. But it quickly escalated from chit-chatting to hardcore flirting within a matter of a week. I never considered hooking up w/ him, but after getting to know him some more,I was interested in the prospect. HOWEVER, in no way, shape or form am I ready for a relationship, I just thought something like this would be good for me. He asked me to hang out after work last friday. He lives in the city so I offered to drive into the city w/him after work. A couple of days before friday, he started to joke that he was going to cancel, but then he'd quickly say that he was kidding. He kept doing this up until an hr before we were suppose to hang out. We met up at the front of the bldg and he suggests we go to happy hr for a bit. While we're there,everything is cool until this exchange: HIM: we have to go back soon, I have to catch the shuttle ME: wait, you were serious about that? I thought you said you were kidding? H: no, I was serious. BK, I have sh%^ I have to do. M: (kind of embarrassed but trying to play it off) oh, ok. no problem, we'll leave in a few minutes then. I bring him back to the shuttle and we're kind of laughing about the situation. Before he gets out he says, "it's ok, 1 day we'll understand each other," and kind of laughs as we say our goodbyes. When I get into work on monday, he emailed me @ 1230 am that friday night saying that he had a good time,he hopes we hang more and that he was done w/ his gig and that I should come over. All the embarrassment went out the window b/c I felt like he was still interested + he didnt seemed embarrassed, so why should I be? Everything was cool till yesterday, when starting asking me all of these weird questions. Like how serious am I about hooking up and if I tell anyone @ work about what's going on. I don't talk to many ppl at work and I DEFINITELY do not tell ppl my personal business - that I assured him-but as far as the serious thing, I told him that I was serious and that if he wasn't and I was wrong about the vibes I was getting; then I apologize and there's no pressure/Im happy to just be friends. He was quite for a bit and then said that I wasn't wrong about the vibes. I backed off and left him alone for a while, until he comes by my desk and asks me to take a walk. Ok, cool, Im thinking he's going to want to talk about our last exchange. We get by the elevators, he hits the button, the doors open and he pushes me into the elevators and gives me the MOST PASSIONATE kiss I've gotten in a while. I was stunned. The doors open, he takes my hand and leads me to this weird part of the bldg that's desolate and we make out for at least a good solid 10 minutes. It was pretty fantastic I must admit. We leave, we go our separate ways and when I get back to my desk, he msgs me saying how great that was and blah blah. For the rest of the afternoon, we basically talked about that and how it should happen again. Before I leave, I give him my phone # but I tread lightly remembering the weird questions he was asking me before, so I tell him that there's no pressure to use it, but he has permission to call me sometime. He made some stupid joke about the # and I left before I could say something stupid back. This morning, Im in the cafeteria, and he walks right up to me and we start talking about bs. I could tell that something was up-like he was rushing or being short, but I just figured that was b/c he was running late. I left him alone until he msg's me 1st, (FYI HE ALWAYS msgd me 1st), making some joke about work. We joke back and forth and then I got busy and stopped msging; but I had this underlying feeling something was up, something seemed weird. My suspicions were right. He msgs me to tell me that while yesterday was a lot of fun, he thinks we should just keep it simple. He says that it's not me, that he like me and he knows that we would have a lot of fun together, but he just doesn't like to mix work w/that. I told him I understand and respect that. But then I began to think about it. Wait a minute, this is less than 24 hrs after we hooked up, this is after all of that illicit stuff he was saying to me, this is after he came up w/ the idea of pushing me into the elevator to make out and this after his 1230 am emails and other assorted msgs about how he wants to hang/hook up...nah, somethings fishy. So I ask, is it something else? I get the work thing, but I feel like there's something else. He and tells me. Well, it's that and the fact that he's "seeing this other girl that he'd rather pursue further". Im let down/hurt, but what can I say? I say ok, I understand. He kept asking if we were ok. Yea we're cool I say. And that's it. So now, Im at my desk and I know I look restless. My 1 pal and confidant, that I trust, happens to sit next to me and knows me well enough that somethings up. She asks and I buckle and tell her the whole story. She says "BK, he has a girlfriend! He's not 'just seeing' someone, I think he's been w/ her for a lil bit!" She then proceeds to show me his instagram account. Hey! What do you know, his f$%^&* PROFILE picture is of him and his GF!! Well that's just dandy. I wouldn't be so upset by this if it wasn't for the fact that HE pursued ME. Im even more pissed b/c when I asked him if I was wrong about my vibes, he couldve simply said yes, and that wouldve nipped it in the bud. I didn't go out of my way to chat him up and I certainly didn't send him emails after every happy hr. I was just minding my own business, trying to make it through the horrible work day and make it through my terrible break-up w/my ex-boyfriend of 8 years and then he comes along filling my head w/ this non-sense. Im so embarrassed and I feel like such a jackass. IDK how to handle the situation dealing w/ him at work and now all of these weird feelings that I have going on that have to do w/ him and my ex. Rebounds are usually good - whether is has a positve outcome or not, at least you still learn from it - but this wasn't even a rebound. It was just a really long wind-up and a pitch w/ no hits and no home runs, just a bunch of fouls and angry fans in the crowd. Thanks for reading the whole damn thing!
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