QueenDeath Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 The whole break up that happened between me and my ex left me feeling speechless, shattered, and just....broken. I am getting better considering it was LDR so the distance helps for this, however day by day I still struggle. I know I made a post saying I'm going to take a break from serious relationships, however....like when something good happens, who do I share that with? Like....how can I sit here and think about him everyday, wished that we were together, for ****s sakes, I broke NC to tell him how he shouldn't have put the whole blame on me for the break up, told him that I am tired of carrying around guilt. How can someone throw you to the side like that? How can someone not fight for you when **** gets tough? How can you just throw someone off like that? How can someone just tell you to find someone better, find someone that makes you happier than they did as if they didn't make you happy and wonder if they are saying that to ease to pain when it doesn't ease the pain? How can I sit here and just feel pain and maybe he doesn't feel pain at all, maybe he doesn't think about me the way I think about him? I don't get it, why is it that there's always seems to be that one person that just...seems to be thinking, feeling all of these things and the other person seems to not? I don't get it at all and it hurts. 2
Pharcyde Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I asked myself those same questions... 8 months later, it still hurts and makes zero sense to me.. Sadly you are probably never going to know how they rationalized breaking it off, how they truly feel, and they don't have the guts to be honest with you. Cheer up! Its supposed to get better, I'm just not sure when. :/ 2
aloneinaz Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 The whole break up that happened between me and my ex left me feeling speechless, shattered, and just....broken. I am getting better considering it was LDR so the distance helps for this, however day by day I still struggle. I know I made a post saying I'm going to take a break from serious relationships, however....like when something good happens, who do I share that with? Like....how can I sit here and think about him everyday, wished that we were together, for ****s sakes, I broke NC to tell him how he shouldn't have put the whole blame on me for the break up, told him that I am tired of carrying around guilt. How can someone throw you to the side like that? How can someone not fight for you when **** gets tough? How can you just throw someone off like that? How can someone just tell you to find someone better, find someone that makes you happier than they did as if they didn't make you happy and wonder if they are saying that to ease to pain when it doesn't ease the pain? How can I sit here and just feel pain and maybe he doesn't feel pain at all, maybe he doesn't think about me the way I think about him? I don't get it, why is it that there's always seems to be that one person that just...seems to be thinking, feeling all of these things and the other person seems to not? I don't get it at all and it hurts. Hun, Stick around here for a while and read as many posts as you can. Your post is written almost exactly word for word by new people everyday that had recently been dumped. While you need to process those emotions, DON'T get bogged down and mired in them either. I bet thousands and thousands of people get dumped everyday with most feeling it came "out of the blue". The sooner you can accept that we are not all good fits for everyone, the quicker you can bounce back and move onto someone you're a better fit with. 1
Gus Grimly Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I don't get it, why is it that there's always seems to be that one person that just...seems to be thinking, feeling all of these things and the other person seems to not? Unfortunately, there could be a variety of reasons. The other person is either acting this way to not give the other the wrong impression that there's a chance for reconciliation, or that they've mentally checked out of the relationship for a while and already processed the grief. Possibly they're in a new relationship. Who really knows? Only they hold the truth .... In my case, it was a little bit of everything. I discovered a lot of disheartening things about my Ex post BU that have floored me. Absolutely floored and disgusted me. I know there's no such thing as 'closure' per se, but after seeing her behavior in the weeks after, I realize I don't know who the hell she is. I don't even want to know this person, gross. So my point is, even if you were to find out the "why", it may not grant you contentment or peace. Yes, it will quench that immediate thirst, but you'll be left with a bad aftertaste. 1
casey.lives Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 When someone breaks up with you... they already broke up with you to themselves. that's.. it. sorry. try not to think so much. sometimes it's best not to ask questions. trust me. 3
Author QueenDeath Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 Hun, Stick around here for a while and read as many posts as you can. Your post is written almost exactly word for word by new people everyday that had recently been dumped. While you need to process those emotions, DON'T get bogged down and mired in them either. I bet thousands and thousands of people get dumped everyday with most feeling it came "out of the blue". The sooner you can accept that we are not all good fits for everyone, the quicker you can bounce back and move onto someone you're a better fit with. For me he was the best thing I ever had and to just literally dump me because it feels like I literally got tossed outside or something and dumped to the side, it sucks. Together seven months, nearly a year, how can someone just get rid of someone like that? I want to matter to someone, I don't want to be just lusted after, I don't want someone that's all there just for the good times and gets scared or whatever and decides to jump ship when things get rocky. He was the first guy that actually made me swoon and swept me off of my feet. Will I find someone in the way in the future? yes, probably, however, whoever that person is best be ready to make me swoon and sweep me off my feet because when the time does come for me to want to settle down again, I'm not going to take just anyone. The whole thing just sucks. He wants nothing to do with me and I want everything to do with him, what the hell? where's the logic?
lana-banana Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Not every relationship is a life-altering love story. There are times you fall in love and realize you truly want to be with someone. There are times you don't fall in love at all but you stick around, knowing your partner is a good and reliable person and hoping your feelings will change. I spent eight months with a guy in the latter kind of relationship because he was perfect on paper and I was scared of being hurt. Don't lose heart. You're so young! You are going to experience all of these types of relationships before you're 30, and probably even before you're 25. Some of them will be awful. Some of them will be incredible. I know this hurts badly, but try to take it in stride. Learn to appreciate the dizzying highs and perilous lows, because they're a fundamental part of being alive. The entire experience is an exhilarating ride. In the meantime, draw a bubble bath, listen to some sad songs, and enjoy a spa day this weekend. That's an order! 2
Samuel_22 Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 For me he was the best thing I ever had and to just literally dump me because it feels like I literally got tossed outside or something and dumped to the side, it sucks. Together seven months, nearly a year, how can someone just get rid of someone like that? I want to matter to someone, I don't want to be just lusted after, I don't want someone that's all there just for the good times and gets scared or whatever and decides to jump ship when things get rocky. He was the first guy that actually made me swoon and swept me off of my feet. Will I find someone in the way in the future? yes, probably, however, whoever that person is best be ready to make me swoon and sweep me off my feet because when the time does come for me to want to settle down again, I'm not going to take just anyone. The whole thing just sucks. He wants nothing to do with me and I want everything to do with him, what the hell? where's the logic? I am where you are now, mine was a 6 month old relationship, well look, I have figured out it is easy on their side, they keep telling themselves that they are victims of circumstances, that they didn't want to hurt anyone, and things happened the way it was not supposed to happen... I bet, you were super kind to this person all the time, because I was and when you are too kind, they think they can do better, they think well maybe there is something wrong with you! have you heard this story that ''poops are popular'' ? well true! I learned an invaluable lesson here that simply poops are popular... next time I know how to act AND what to do to become popular... Wanna trust me on something? well Karma is a bitch! you know a year ago I dumped this super nice girl, my girlfriend of two years, who gave me everything she had, tried and tried to have me, supported me emotionally, financially etc... well I thought there was something wrong with her, I dumped her like a stupid moron, I thought I could do better, 7 months later!! well I am here, I did all she did for me for this one, and here I am, dumped by someone I loved! I saw the girl I had dumped 1 year ago on the street! God I wanted to hug her and cry, beg her to forgive me for all I did to her, I just was clueless, how her reaction would be!!! I had never told anyone this story but, it is time to come clean...I am done with my karma now, we are even! now it is gonna be my most recent girlfriend's karma, your ex's karma? SURE!
aloneinaz Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 For me he was the best thing I ever had and to just literally dump me because it feels like I literally got tossed outside or something and dumped to the side, it sucks. Together seven months, nearly a year, how can someone just get rid of someone like that? I want to matter to someone, I don't want to be just lusted after, I don't want someone that's all there just for the good times and gets scared or whatever and decides to jump ship when things get rocky. He was the first guy that actually made me swoon and swept me off of my feet. Will I find someone in the way in the future? yes, probably, however, whoever that person is best be ready to make me swoon and sweep me off my feet because when the time does come for me to want to settle down again, I'm not going to take just anyone. The whole thing just sucks. He wants nothing to do with me and I want everything to do with him, what the hell? where's the logic? Yup, you're just like everyone else in questioning the "why's" of a dumpers behavior. What you dealing with is your emotions reaction to being rejected. This guy certainly wasn't "perfect" for you or he'd still be there. You had a good (short) run w/him but it appears the honeymoon phase ended and he realized you were not a good fit for him. This is where you're pride and self esteem need to kick in. You need to be saying to yourself "F-him, it's his loss" while putting him in the rear view mirror. Everyone has dealt with getting dumped. Yes, it sucks but it's part of the risk we have to accept when we are dating.
emi Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Stop asking why. It is what it is. I got dumped once, also LDR. I took 1 year to get over it, then 2 year after the day he dumped me he message me tell me he missed me and he never has a gf since then and bla bla bla. Yeah right, i dont give a rat ass
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