central Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 "How can I put this delicately, dear? You're getting fat! Would you like some help dealing with that?" If she does, great! If she doesn't, tough love may work. In the worst case, dumping her may well motivate her to lose weight in order to attract the next guy. Win-win.
No_Go Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 FF, I see she has a bad eating habits, but I still stay behind my opinion that she's aware and (most likely) concerned with her weight gain. As ridiculous as it is, overeating can be a sign of being depressed or at least dysphoric resulting partially from the weight gain and losing attractiveness. I've recently experienced the same: gained up to ~135 pounds (my usual is 125, lowest ~115) - and sadly, my eating habits when downhill: kind of lost motivation due to other ongoing problems AND the not-so-attractive image that I'm seeing. I bet DE gf has similar, if not the same, experience. Add to the picture that she is changing antidepressants and other medication, which affects appetite and mood and you have the picture. Actually I'd say the exact opposite of this. If she is downing three pints of ice cream in one sitting and eating like crap in general, she's basically saying she doesn't give a $hit. I mean it's one thing if she genuinely has physical disabilities and can't be that active. But if she was self conscious and did care about trying to be healthy, she'd at least be eating the right way. So I'd take her seriously bad eating habits as a major warning sign that it's only going to get worse. 1
Diezel Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Break up with her. And no, don't post pictures of her former self.
empresario Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 You are not dating a fitness professional. You are dating a retired fitness professional. Let me tell you a story of my two business partners. Both of them were professional athletes (so essentially have been training since childhood). Both of them are retired. Partner 1) He never really enjoyed the fitness that went along with his 'job'. The second his career was over he stopped working out and eating properly. He is now 30 pounds overweight and has lost most of his muscle. From straining his body so hard for years he looks 40 even though he's younger than me. Partner 2) Continued working out and still has a great body, general enthusiasm, and health. He never saw working out as his job. He sees it as a passion. --- The truth is, these guys were both top tier athletes. One was there because he was naturally gifted and did the diet/exercise thing because he had to. The other was gifted, but made it as far as he did because he loves diet/exercise and it still shows today. She obviously kept in shape because it was her job. Now that it's not her job she has no interest. When you try to change her new habits, she sees it as work and it stresses her out. Don't expect that to change. Being a fitness professional is hard and unless you have a passion for it, it burns you out. Either you can love her as she wants to be or you can't. That's your choice to make. 2
cessna Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Being fat is unhealthy. That's a fact. A fact you can use to address her getting fatter. Instead of telling her she is getting fat, which will hurt her feelings, tell her that she is getting unhealthy and that you are concerned for her health. Remember, being fat is a choice so she only has herself to blame. 1
Walters Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Every woman I ever dated ended up gaining between 30 and 60 lbs. I've done everything you can imagine over the relationships and i will tell you what works. Nothing. She does know it, you don't need to tell her it. Any attempt to tell her your not happy about it will result in arguments, breaking up, or a damage relationship that will eventually break up. Further you will only INCREASE her need to eat. Even being passive about trying to tell her will trigger it. Your only options is 1. Accept it and continue the relationship hoping one day she will revert. 2. break up. everybody has different needs so its not a one size fits all. However for the most part the top needs of a man are: Men 1. Sexual fulfillment 2. Physical Attractiveness Woman 1. Affection 2. Conversation Taking away physical attraction from most men is like taking away affection from most woman. When a woman lets herself go its not different then a man no longer being affectionate. If those are not your top two needs then you can replace whatever your need is on top and think about how it would suck to have your SO stop providing that need. So the options you have are the only two. Live with it and hope it gets turned around, or break it off and find somebody else that will provide the needs you require. 2
BlueIris Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 People have been telling you to leave your GF for a while- but you won’t. So why is that? It’s finances, isn’t it? You can’t carry the lease by yourself, right? You’re making posts and threads right and left about how bad you think she is, so have some guts and decency- and end it. 3
katiegrl Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 You know you're going to dump her. Especially in another 6 months/20 lbs. With all that farting she sounds like she just doesn't care anymore. Maybe breaking up with her would be doing her a favor, it would be like a reality check, she's way too comfortable in the relationship. I have read all his other threads, and it 's worse than her being "too comfortable" with him. She has lost all respect for him and is using him.... I suspect deadelvis knows this too, but doesn't care, he's too whipped to leave. Sad. 1
BlueIris Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 I have read all his other threads, and it 's worse than her being "too comfortable" with him. She has lost all respect for him and is using him.... I suspect deadelvis knows this too, but doesn't care, he's too whipped to leave. Sad. Huh? Well, if it takes "blaming" her, fine. Whoever is the bad guy here (which is a near obsession with some on this board), he doesn't respect her and is griping about her all over LS, so he needs to end this. From my math, they haven't even known each other a year, so they shouldn't even be living together. She hasn't posted, but he has and he does not like or respect her. 3
siriusp Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 She does have serious health problems, even just cleaning up the house or cooking dinner leaves her in crippling pain for hours, so I understand not wanting to hit the gym. She's talked about coming to the gym with me and swimming since it's low impact. But the junk food thing is over the top. She was really depressed over the health issues during the year or so before we started dating but she's been really happy since we got together. I don't think it's depression... part of me thinks she's got the attitude of "well, I found a keeper, no point in staying sexy... can I get a supersized double order of deep fried, sugar coated lard nuggets?" I have found the best cure for depression and pain is a raw food diet for about three weeks!! It has amazing effects on energy and mood.... however you have to eat a lot of (organic) food - a big variety and lots of greens for it to work. The first few days are difficult. Maybe she would like to try.... also weight drops off and skin glows! 1
katiegrl Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Huh? Well, if it takes "blaming" her, fine. Whoever is the bad guy here (which is a near obsession with some on this board), he doesn't respect her and is griping about her all over LS, so he needs to end this. From my math, they haven't even known each other a year, so they shouldn't even be living together. She hasn't posted, but he has and he does not like or respect her. I said "whipped" because he keeps insisting he is unable to leave her.... despite her clearly using him, etc.... to me that's called being whipped. This RL is so damn toxic, it would be laughable if it weren't so sad. 2
shet Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Pass her to me buddy, I love the chubby funsters. I'd consider watching her downing 3 pints of ice cream as serious foreplay. 1
perol Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Pass her to me buddy, I love the chubby funsters. I'd consider watching her downing 3 pints of ice cream as serious foreplay. You're not helping.
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