Shining One Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 In my current situation, I've asked out dude and got shot down. Every time I try to approach him, he hides. He isn't like that with women he dated and is with in real life. When it came to her, he didn't hide, he wasn't "shy"...he made it happen. He made the moves. Now, some will also say, some men are intimidated by a woman they show strong attraction to and in fear of being rejected may not want to ask her out and allow her to make the moves. Well, still, at the end of the day, he doesn't have enough interest to ask me out cuz he's not looking for a woman he has a strong attraction towards. So, why am I gonna embarrass myself and ask him out only to get rejected and/or come off as desperate? And, I've done enough asking with him. He's not interested. So, hope he's happy cuz I'm so freakin' done. One year and he's still wondering if I'm gonna reject him? **pfft** So, sorry, IMO, it's better to let him make the moves - that way you know for sure he's interested. When you ask him out, he may respond, but more than likely he had lukewarm interest.Is a sample size of one really sufficient to draw any conclusions? I was rejected by the first girl I asked out. According to your logic, from my experience with that one girl, I should have drawn the conclusion that men should not ask women out. I've been approached by six women (not counting OLD). Four of them received positive responses and two were rejected due to me already being involved with someone else. That's a 66% positive response ratio on my sample size of six. 1
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I meant he "pursued", "asked out", "took the initiative" with women he was interested in. He didn't with me because he's not interested in me - even though I asked him out, pursued him, etc. In other words, all this "women should make the first moves", "ask men out", and/or "pursue" men is wrong, IMO. Cuz, when a man isn't interested in you, he isn't asking you out, he isn't pursuing you....it's not that he's waiting on you to make a move on him. So the man is supposed to be more interested in the woman then the other way around?
Got it Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) I've backed up my "typical woman response" with my real life situation... Dude did not respond to me asking him out - yet for other women he "hunted" Explain to me why he left it up to me to do the approaching vs him getting off his duff to approach, date, and get committed to other women... I'm all ears... Umm, because he wasn't interested in you. So wouldn't have matter he wasn't going to ask you out and was going to turn you down when you did. Just because a woman asks a man out doesn't mean he is going to say yes just like it doesn't happen when a man asks a women out. There has to be an attraction and he, quite frankly, wasn't attracted to you. There are no certainties either way but I who cares who is taking the gamble? I mean men put themselves out on the line all the time why can't women? And then women complain how a guy "isn't getting the hint" and is sitting in frustrated limbo because they can't get off their duff and face rejection. At the end of the day rejection is hard but we all should put on our big girl/boy panties and just face it. Better to get rejected than to let an opportunity pass you by. (But then that is just my philosophy in all areas of my life and has proven quite successful overall. ) Edited August 28, 2015 by Got it
2.50 a gallon Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) Over my life time I have been asked out several times. It can be both good and bad, depends. For most of my adult life I liked living in large apartment complexes. I was about to turn 30, when in this super hot gal about my age moved in. She was having her condo rebuilt, and in order to stay out of the workers hair took a 3 month lease where I lived. She was quite successful, half owner of a very up and coming accounting firm. Owned a 260Z, the hot car at that time, and a T-Bird port holer. And she was a total looker. I entertained thoughts of getting closer to her, until I saw some of the guys she was dating. Corvettes, Porsches, and even fancier. One guy was wearing a James Bond white suit when he picked her up in his Ferrari. Totally out of my league, so I put aside any thoughts of her going out with me. And it was not like we became friends, to me she was just another neighbor, who came out to the pool, was friendly, played volley ball, grilled, etc. One night, I was out at the pool when she came out. Amongst the talk she mentioned her condo was finished and she would be moving out in a couple weeks. Somewhere during the conversation, I became determined to teach myself how to do a back flip into the pool. She helped me talk myself into it. Backward at the edge of the pool, throw my body up and back, pull knees up into a ball. Yeah if I miss it might hurt, but I won't break any bones. First one was a disaster, but I was close, so climbed out of the pool and hit the second one. Then a third, and then there she was standing behind me, with her hand on my goodies, telling me how much she was in love with me. I never saw that one coming. The sad part is, we did date, but for some reason, I never did come close to falling in love with her. Perhaps it was the shock of her forwardness. She was so in love with me she ended up being a long time FWB. We met every other Wednesday, for Mexican food, her treat. During my disco days she was my dance partner. I ended up with the keys to her condo, and she even offered me the keys to her cars, should I ever want to impress a new lady. Five years later she was a guest at my wedding. Six weeks later she married an architect. Edited August 28, 2015 by 2.50 a gallon
2.50 a gallon Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 When I met my Ex, I was 31 - 32, she was 18 - 19. Way too young for me. 15 minutes after meeting she showed me her boobs, and let me know they were available to me. Three years later we married, six months later we broke up
2.50 a gallon Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 I met my current GF about 23 years ago. And like all good looking ladies she already had a man. So set out to wait for him to make a mistake. We were not really friends, I did not have her number much less know where she lived. In fact I lost track of her for over a year. By luck, I was driving by her place and seen her at her mail box. U-turn. Stopped to talk, they had just broken up, we exchanged numbers. I did not call, but did stop by to see her one time. Two weeks later she left a message inviting me over for ribs. That was a real shock as she is very quiet and shy. In a month we will have been together 20 years. 1
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Well from what I've observed on this whole forum, there are successful relationships, ones that turned out great from the girl making the first move or asking the guy out first, but you are entitled to do what you want 1
William Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 Folks, this is a thread about men expressing how they feel about being asked out on dates or receiving expressed romantic interest. Members who are in relationships are certainly welcome to share how their male partners felt if/when they were asked out. We have threads available, right now, and for free, to discuss other aspects of dating and asking out on dates and, yes, this is a wonderfully complex subject so feel free to start those threads and discuss. That's what LoveShack.org is all about. Here, we'll stick to 'Guys how do you feel being asked out?' Thanks!
Frank2thepoint Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 If a girl approached you instead of the traditional guy approaching a girl? Would this be weird to you if she was the one to initiate? So guys, how do you like been approached rather than the approachees? Or do you like been the ones who ask out? This happens to me once in a blue moon. I wouldn't have any issues with it. I believe it's a sign of truly strong woman that knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to pursue it. Plus she breaks away from archaic dating practices. Even if I wasn't attracted or interested in the woman, I'd still respect her for it.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 This happens to me once in a blue moon. I wouldn't have any issues with it. I believe it's a sign of truly strong woman that knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to pursue it. Plus she breaks away from archaic dating practices. Even if I wasn't attracted or interested in the woman, I'd still respect her for it. Any other girls in this forum that haven't posted here that have approached a guy first and it turned out successful?
Harradin Posted August 29, 2015 Posted August 29, 2015 I've been asked out twice. I declined both because I wasn't attracted to either of them. My friends gave me stick for not going on a date with either of them, but I felt that it'd wouldn't be fair to string them along. But I have to admit, I did feel flattered.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 I've been asked out twice. I declined both because I wasn't attracted to either of them. My friends gave me stick for not going on a date with either of them, but I felt that it'd wouldn't be fair to string them along. But I have to admit, I did feel flattered. I would feel too 1
JustGettingBy Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Worst case scenario I'd feel a boost to my self-esteem.
PaperCrane Posted September 9, 2015 Posted September 9, 2015 Courage is sexy and shows quality of mind. I'll also add, I've declined a few, however my longest relationship started that way. Even though I declined the ones I did, their value in my eyes increased and I had piles of respect for them. I went out of my way to try and help them find someone after. That kind of gumption shouldn't go unrewarded.
shet Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 It's only happened to me outright once, and I turned her down because basically she was a slapper with a stable of men I had no wish to join. But I was flattered and impressed with her balls and the ease with which she did it, and if it hadn't been for the 4 or 5 other dudes orbiting her I'd have been very receptive. The other 2 times I thought it was happening turned out to be friendly not romantic. Oh and someone did it while drunk, in fact only a month ago, and then backed out of it while sober.
lino Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 have any of you guys actually dated a girl who asked you out? Did it turn out well? Every woman I've been involved with except for one has shown interest in me first. I did the actual asking out but they all initiated contact to me either themselves or through someone they knew. I greatly appreciate it and reciprocated their interest. It's nice when this happens but sadly, because of societies expectations, it is rare. 1
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Every woman I've been involved with except for one has shown interest in me first. I did the actual asking out but they all initiated contact to me either themselves or through someone they knew. I greatly appreciate it and reciprocated their interest. It's nice when this happens but sadly, because of societies expectations, it is rare. Glad to hear that
XianErick Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Typical guy here, It's very brave for anyone to ask someone out I can appreciate that. When a girl asks me out it's very flattering. I've had some girls scare me away with this, but that simply means I wasn't into them to begin with. On the other hand, if I am really into the idea i'll kind of reverse the proposal. Basically: She asked me out, I commented on how adorable, then asked HER to be my girlfriend lol
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 11, 2015 Posted September 11, 2015 Typical guy here, It's very brave for anyone to ask someone out I can appreciate that. When a girl asks me out it's very flattering. I've had some girls scare me away with this, but that simply means I wasn't into them to begin with. On the other hand, if I am really into the idea i'll kind of reverse the proposal. Basically: She asked me out, I commented on how adorable, then asked HER to be my girlfriend lol absolutely!
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