dragonwalker Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 (edited) For the details about the girl that I'm referring to here, please read other recent posts. Basically, I've been going on dates with this girl for about 2 months. We see each other about once a week. We weren't intimate at all till the last date when we became intimate (just short of sex). The last date was over the past weekend and I'm going to be seeing her again tomorrow. I thought it would be appropriate to bring some kind of gift. I haven't really done this before so I'd like to do something if those of you here think it's called for. I know on the 3rd date I brought a small container of flowers and some earrings that looked nice but plastic though in retrospect I probably should have stuck with just the flowers, she graduated recently from her master's program and send a larger bouquet of flowers a few weeks ago with a thoughtful letter which she expressed her greatest appreciation. Of course I've paid for most of the dates mostly from me offering. She recently moved to a new place and doesn't really have much furniture at all. I don't want to buy her furniture or anything practical. She's not exactly strapped for cash or anything so I wanted something more impactful. I was thinking some kind of artwork perhaps for her new place but I don't feel like I have the competency to pick out something good or to her tastes. I don't think I should spend to much but maybe a couple hundred dollars at most. She's not much of a jewelry person but does sometimes wear small stud earrings and maybe a simple necklace. I'm not to sure. Thoughts? Edited August 26, 2015 by dragonwalker
d0nnivain Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 It was too soon & too pushy for you to get the earrings. It's sweet that you want to do things for her but stop with the stuff. A gift is too much. Do bring a bottle of wine, flowers or dessert when you come over. If you must bring something, stick to small things. . house warming type stuff that is cheap . . .like a new pizza cutter, or one of those whisks that look like an egg with a beak: Whiskie Egg Whisk in Kitchen Utensils Spending too much or buying intimate things like jewelry is the wrong way to go.
Versacehottie Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Here's just an idea: why not ask if she needs help figuring her place out? More of a gift of time, which then becomes a bonding and connection experience. I think a gift might be a little much at this point--like you are trying to force it or lead with your wallet. If you care about her and trying to be a guy toward her, it sounds like she needs help with her place. Figuring out furniture, etc. Maybe on one of those shopping trips, something will have a special story or meaning to the two of you and then you buy it or surprise her with it at the that time. That way the "gift" will have much more meaning and be much more personal. When a gift is given because it feels like you understood and bonded with the recipient, it has so much more meaning.
clia Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Why exactly do you think it is appropriate to bring her a gift? I think spending a couple hundred dollars on a gift for no reason after two months of dating seems extreme. If you want to bring her something, a simple bouquet of flowers or something small (as donnivan suggested) is more than sufficient.
Author dragonwalker Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 Why exactly do you think it is appropriate to bring her a gift? I think spending a couple hundred dollars on a gift for no reason after two months of dating seems extreme. If you want to bring her something, a simple bouquet of flowers or something small (as donnivan suggested) is more than sufficient. Ok thank you everyone, I wasn't sure that's why I asked. I think for a moment there I was trying to "buy" her affection. I will hold off on buying any gifts and perhaps see how I can so something more symbolic. Thanks.
Vercetti Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Flowers and plastic romance cards. Is a birthday a holiday? Anyhow I don't see anything wrong getting a gift. What I do see wrong is after two months have to ask strangers online for ideas. You have been the one with her. Shouldn't you know her favorite colour, smell, ect. Gemstone, gold or silver. Music and movies. Little things she has spoke of wanting / needing. So my idea is hold off buying things til you know the person well enough don't have to ask strangers what she might like.
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