cottom Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 What does this mean? Her: 21, Me: 23 She just came out of uni, an arts degree in photography. She's had bf's before, I haven't asked about them because it's not something you want to know. I have my masters and a good job and recently moved to a town near her, we met on Tinder, which we both had for jokes, after we fell into each others catchment area. We chatted 24/ for 3 weeks approx before meeting, the conversation was good it never got boring. We were both so alike. When I first met her over drinks, she made a comment "I'd hate to be married, my sisters practically engaged and she's only 22, it's like 'so forever' I couldn't do it". Today texting we were discussing cringe couple names that people use such as 'babe', 'hun' etc and she says "I hate being called love, actually I hate love in general, I don't believe in it" That kind of took me by suprise, and I don't really know how to respond to it...what does it mean when she says this? If I wanted something more serious than messing around is she not the one? We texted for the past month 24/7, been meeting for 2 weeks sleeping together, only 4 days out the past 10 we haven't hung out. She said that but then carried on the conversation teasing each other making jokes etc like we have for the past month so I don't know how to take it. Is it just a guard she's put up to stop from getting hurt? Is it some liberal B'S that she's had installed into her like a feminist issue? Is it just scared of becoming like those cringe couples you see on Facebook or in the street giving public displays of affection?
central Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Why worry about it? It will sort itself out in time, and the odds are that this woman is not the one you'll want to marry anyway. If you're thinking about marriage in the near future, my advice is - DON'T!!!
Author cottom Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 I'm not thinking of marriage now no chance! I have a he'll of a lot to do with my life but I also like to understand girls and where there coming from and if I'm being rejected lightly etc but I can't figure it out, like all girls dream of weddings and stuff and enjoy relationship, I've been hurt so badly before multiple times so I don't want to open myself up for something that was a thinly veiled rejection
stillafool Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 She isn't rejecting you. She's only 21 and wants to be free to do whatever she wants. She just doesn't want to be tied down and I don't blame her. She's smart to not want to fall in love at 21. Too much living to do.
Toodaloo Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Personally I don't think she is all that into you. Not for any reason caused by you but I think if you continue that you will just be a stop gap. Free yourself up for someone who will love you.
d0nnivain Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Today texting we were discussing cringe couple names that people use such as 'babe', 'hun' etc and she says "I hate being called love, actually I hate love in general, I don't believe in it" Is it just a guard she's put up to stop from getting hurt? Is it some liberal B'S that she's had installed into her like a feminist issue? Is it just scared of becoming like those cringe couples you see on Facebook or in the street giving public displays of affection? At her age when I said similar things is was partially a self protective thing. It was partially not wanting to be the cringe-worthy public couple. I have since learned the fun in doing some of those cutsey things in private. A huge part of it was that I didn't want to lose myself, my identify or get side tracked from my goals by some guy. She's drawing some pretty clear boundaries & she has some pretty high walls up. However, if you are patient & you show her through your actions & your steadfastness that you are worthy of trust she may eventually let you in. For now, if you enjoy her company just keep on doing what you are doing & see where you are in 6+ months.
Diezel Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 She's 21, I'd take half of 1% of what she said seriously.
d0nnivain Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 She's 21, I'd take half of 1% of what she said seriously. Disagree. She's telling him she's scared. That has to be taken seriously.
Diezel Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Disagree. She's telling him she's scared. That has to be taken seriously. Disagree. She has an art degree in photography. 2
autumnnight Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Disagree. She has an art degree in photography. I'm sorry, this made me chuckle. She's probably part scared and part trying to be all "hip and detached."\ Give her a few years, When she is tired of being a Gap manager with a photography degree, she'll grow up, go back to school for something useful, and have a career. Then she may be ready for love. 3
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