lemonadekiwi Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 My boyfriend works a lot, long hours, commutes to work. So he's on his feet a lot and has a very stressful job. I understand that. Our sex life has taken a real hit... he isn't interested in sex anymore, we rarely have it...and I have a high libido. He doesn't ever compliment me either so overall, I just feel ugly to him. We've been living together for 6 months (we've been together just under two) and I've tried talking to him about it, said I miss sex and how I feel. He says he's not up to it, just stressed, bored all the time as we have no money at the moment. I feel awful and I don't know what to do about it. He just said it's not gonna change, anything I suggest to do to make life a bit more fun he dismisses. He doesn't wanna do anything. I try to alleviate some of the stress by making dinner, etc in the week so he doesn't have to as he is tired. But he says he's happy. So it doesn't feel like there's anything I can do. I can't suggest everything. He does kiss and hug me, so he is affectionate. That's it though. What do I do now? Should I just leave him to it and leave him alone? I can't believe how embarrassed, frustrated and low I feel.
Syirrus Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 When I read through your post, it seems he may need to be reminded of who he has beside himself. Often times, we get wrapped up in work, forgetting what is most important. Try to remind him of why life is important, why your relationship is important. Work plays a role in our life, but it's not the main actor. I think it's healthy to point out that not making time for one another is damaging over time to a health relationship. It's not just about you needing sex. It's about him working too much and not having it too. If you ask him what he would rather have more of in his life, work or sex, I bet he says sex. Hang in there if you suspect it's just overworking is the issue and of course if you want to hang in there. John
d0nnivain Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 How long is his commute & can you move closer? Being too tired to give you a compliment is BS though.
PegNosePete Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 You're asking how to make him change to make you happy. But he doesn't want to change anything because he's happy. While that situation prevails there is absolutely nothing you can do. You can't force someone to change who doesn't want to. Sit him down and tell him how unhappy it is making you feel. If he still doesn't want to change things, then you may have no choice but to leave him.
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