nes9 Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 So I went on a first date with a girl from work (we will be working different shifts in different departments in different parts of the building starting in a few days, so I do not see the whole "dating a coworker" thing as being a big deal) this past Friday that I thought went overall pretty well. At the end of the date, she gave me a vague answer about going on a second date. I waited a day and contacted her by text again telling her I had a good time etc. She said she had a fun time too but that she "felt a little weird" hanging out with me since we work together and wanted to know what my thoughts were on the matter. I told her why I didn't think it was a big deal and she responded with, "that's true, i still feel a liiiiittle weird but we can probably hang out again. I think I'm busy this weekend but I'll have to check my plans and see." I mentioned that I wanted to do a saturday instead of a friday since I work late on fridays and she was like, "yah we could probably go out again in a couple of saturdays or something." Should I contact her this week about whether or not she is around this weekend or should I expect her to contact me? If so, when should I contact her, given that we last talked on Sunday? Thanks.
yxalitis Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 So I went on a first date with a girl from work (we will be working different shifts in different departments in different parts of the building starting in a few days, so I do not see the whole "dating a coworker" thing as being a big deal) this past Friday that I thought went overall pretty well. At the end of the date, she gave me a vague answer about going on a second date. I waited a day and contacted her by text again telling her I had a good time etc. She said she had a fun time too but that she "felt a little weird" hanging out with me since we work together and wanted to know what my thoughts were on the matter. I told her why I didn't think it was a big deal and she responded with, "that's true, i still feel a liiiiittle weird but we can probably hang out again. I think I'm busy this weekend but I'll have to check my plans and see." I mentioned that I wanted to do a saturday instead of a friday since I work late on fridays and she was like, "yah we could probably go out again in a couple of saturdays or something." Should I contact her this week about whether or not she is around this weekend or should I expect her to contact me? If so, when should I contact her, given that we last talked on Sunday? Thanks. Re read the bolded parts! Dude, she's not interested!
Author nes9 Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 Re read the bolded parts! Dude, she's not interested! So why did she want to know what my thoughts were on "dating a coworker," if she wasn't thinking about it at all? Why even offer to go out with me the weekend after this one if she simply isn't interested? If she really wasn't interested at all wouldn't the easiest thing for her to do have been to just ignore my text or respond with "umm I'm busy, sorry I can't"? I'm not sure this is so cut and dry but I know plenty of people on here will say anything less than a definitive yes is a no.
doeblin Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 She flaked because <reasons>. She flaked because you're not a priority. When you ask a girl out, make it specific time/place/activity. If she's truly interested she will either say yes or give you another specific day. The "I think I'm busy this weekend but I'll have to check my plans and see." is THE classic flakey noncommittal answer you don't wanna hear. If you are still interested, give her some space for a week or so, then ask her out again. If she flakes again, move on.
JewelD Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Hard to tell what she's thinking. Although it will make sense if you put yourself in her shoes. If you liked someone, would you wait a couple of saturdays to go out with them again? She obviously doesn't care about dating a coworker as she already went on a date with you. She may have just been coming up with an excuse for you guys not to date each other anymore. That way it wouldn't be awkward if you saw each other at work afterwards. If I went on a date with a coworker and didn't like him, I would try very hard to let him know I'm not interested without having to actually say "I'm not interested in you" flat outright. HOWEVER, I will say that everything is not always what it seems. It's possible that she really is just very busy these couple of weeks. If you're interested, wait a week and ask her out again. If she still blows you off, she's def not interested.
yxalitis Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 So why did she want to know what my thoughts were on "dating a coworker," if she wasn't thinking about it at all? Why even offer to go out with me the weekend after this one if she simply isn't interested? If she really wasn't interested at all wouldn't the easiest thing for her to do have been to just ignore my text or respond with "umm I'm busy, sorry I can't"? I'm not sure this is so cut and dry but I know plenty of people on here will say anything less than a definitive yes is a no. Look in your hands..those are straws your grasping...
Qboro90 Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 So why did she want to know what my thoughts were on "dating a coworker," if she wasn't thinking about it at all? Why even offer to go out with me the weekend after this one if she simply isn't interested? If she really wasn't interested at all wouldn't the easiest thing for her to do have been to just ignore my text or respond with "umm I'm busy, sorry I can't"? I'm not sure this is so cut and dry but I know plenty of people on here will say anything less than a definitive yes is a no. Most people in general are bad at vocalizing their disinterest properly when dating. This girl wasn't into you enough after that first date and simply either felt bad about telling you no straight up or didn't want to be bitchy about it. So she asked if you felt weird about dating a co worker in hopes you'd say "yea it is a bit of a awkward situation" and then mutually agree to stop. Once you started telling her that it didn't bother you she had to give you a little hope and say she was ok hanging out again in a couple weeks. She's just saying that Bc she's hoping that during that time it'll fade away and you won't ask again. If she liked you that much she would be eager to go out again. Sorry, it sucks and she wasn't as mature about it as we would hope but this isn't the ideal world and this is what happens. If I were you I wouldn't text her again about a second date. If she texts you and asks about it then fine, go for it, but I get the feeling that won't happen so don't be the pushy co worker and make it even more awkward. 1
Author nes9 Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 Most people in general are bad at vocalizing their disinterest properly when dating. This girl wasn't into you enough after that first date and simply either felt bad about telling you no straight up or didn't want to be bitchy about it. So she asked if you felt weird about dating a co worker in hopes you'd say "yea it is a bit of a awkward situation" and then mutually agree to stop. Once you started telling her that it didn't bother you she had to give you a little hope and say she was ok hanging out again in a couple weeks. She's just saying that Bc she's hoping that during that time it'll fade away and you won't ask again. If she liked you that much she would be eager to go out again. Sorry, it sucks and she wasn't as mature about it as we would hope but this isn't the ideal world and this is what happens. If I were you I wouldn't text her again about a second date. If she texts you and asks about it then fine, go for it, but I get the feeling that won't happen so don't be the pushy co worker and make it even more awkward. Ah ****... Yeah, as I reread the text conversation I had with her I can see what everyone here is talking about. Sucks but it makes a little more sense now.
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