rookie54 Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Its now been just over a year since my ex and I broke up. Throughout the break up we have had minimum contact and removed each other from social media which has helped again. Throughout the break up we exchanged a few emails, and past few months a few happy bday text and general how are you texts which have been civil and no hard feelings on both ends. I ended the relationship not out of not being love with her but at the time the abuse I was receiving made me make the call back then. Its been very hard for me as I was the one that broke up with her and I have never dumped someone before. Over the past year I have thought about her daily and wanted to mend things with her, which I have tried to contact but she made it clear that we wernt meant to be. I'm now at the point where dreaming about her and thinking about her is affecting my life.. sleeping is bad and my mental head space on life is all over the place. I do text her once or month with a general hey or whatever but it does suck me back in to keep wanting to stay in contact. Can anyone suggest ideas or anything that may help me move on for good? hypnotherapy? counselling? thanks guys 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Stop contacting her would be a good start 3 Link to post Share on other sites
15Love Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 ^^ that's a start. Def implement NC. Post in the "post here instead of contact you ex" thread whenever that urge to reach out comes....and it will. Then you could try making a list of every single little thing you didn't appreciate or enjoy about her. Dwell on that list. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 I ended the relationship not out of not being love with her but at the time the abuse I was receiving made me make the call back then. This here ^^^^^^. If you were on the receiving end of any kind of abuse, then why would you want to go back for more? All your doing is inviting more of the same so if I were you, I would look someplace else of a person who isn't abusive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rookie54 Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 Thanks guys appreciate the support 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Stop contacting her would be a good start This^^ And I'll add that you mentioned it's been a year now. I didn't see you talk about any dating or new GF's? Are you dating and trying to meet a girl that won't be abusive? If not, how come? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rookie54 Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 I have dated girls over the past year or so but in all honesty, they have compared to my ex or I just haven't been ready to commit to someone else knowing feelings for my ex are still there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 I have dated girls over the past year or so but in all honesty, they have compared to my ex or I just haven't been ready to commit to someone else knowing feelings for my ex are still there. That's because by remaining in contact you're constantly being reminded of her 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 That's because by remaining in contact you're constantly being reminded of her Bingo! You're giving WAY too much power to someone who didn't want you in their life. STOP having any contact w/this ex, it's not doing you any favors and keep dating. You'll run into someone who rocks your world and you will put this ex in the rear view mirror. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Enough of the relationship necromancy. She's on your mind because you keep creating events and interactions to think about. *No direct contact in either direction. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. A year is long enough. Let it go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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