39Katie Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 This may be a long post and I apologize for that. My ex boyfriend and I broke up in February. He broke up with me because I had severe anxiety and depression issues and always accused him of cheating on me. I know I was being irrational, but my mental health issues wouldn't allow me to stop, and he did not understand. We have had NO contact in these last 6 months, as it was a messy break up. 3 days ago, I discovered him and his friends moved in to an apartment a few doors down. He discovered this as well, and re-added me back on Snapchat, which was quite the surprise as I thought he hated my guts. We began snap chatting and he asked to go on a walk that night. It went super well, we casually talked about our summers and whatnot. Now, 3 days later, we have been talking everyday and going on nightly walks. Last night, I admitted I still had feelings for him and loved him. He told me we would never get back together and he did not love me like he did. However, if I mentioned another guy, he would get extremely mad and stomp off and say never to talk about that again. If I said I was talking to someone, he would get defensive and say don't bring that up. Furthermore, he revealed he would like to be friends with benefits. When I told him that talking to other guys and even sleeping with other guys while we were friends with benefits would help me to cope with the feelings I had for him, he said he doesn't want that. He said "I don't share well" and "I'm just sharing my feelings..." He snaps AND texts me all day long and offers to pick me up things in town and whatnot, leaving me extremely confused. When I accused him of just trying to use me for sex, he got extremely mad and was like "I would have already tried to do that... and even if you said no to sex, I would still love to be friends." So, I'm confused as to how to feel about this whole situation. What should I do?
Learningtowalkagain Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 He wants his cake and to eat it to. That's not fair to you. Especially if you have anxiety and depression. I have a FWB, she knows I date other girls, I know she dates other guys. That's FWB. Having emotions and feelings involved which you clearly have is only going to hurt you. I'd cut ties and move on. If you truly do have other men you're talking to pursue them. You deserve better.
quattrob Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 How about not agree to being friends with benefits in the first place? And why are you sharing your dating life with your ex to begin with? You're trying to "test" and see how he thinks? I think anyone mentioning their dating life with their ex would generally get the same kind of reaction or at least feeling. It's doesn't take a genius to realize that you were once in a relationship and that you have broken up (pretty recently too), if you mention anything about sleeping with another partner obviously he/she will be irked and feels weird to even talk about it. It's not that he really has those love feelings towards you still, it's just it's just awkward to bring it up this early when you both haven't "totally" moved on. I know you're trying to test him by bringing up your dating life etc. Please don't be so disrespectful especially when he already told you not to do it. It is immature and stop playing games with this guy, he already told you he only wants to be friends (with benefits). If you can't accept then move on please. You're creating an unnecessary drama because IN YOUR OPINION, you screwed up the relationship previously. Now you're trying to play with his mind/feelings to try to get another chance. Please grow up.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 This is not going to end well. Don't be FWB. You're still in love with him, so it won't work out. He doesn't want you to be his girlfriend, only his sex buddy, yet he pouts when you mention other guys. And how are you going to feel when you find out he's having sex with other girls? That will eventually happen; you're both kidding yourselves if you think this is a good idea and that nobody is going to get hurt. It's going to get very messy, very quickly. Heck, you guys aren't even ready to be friends yet.
mightycpa Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Tell him that as a friend, you expect him to fix you up with guys every once in a while. If he can't do that, tell him he's not much of a friend. This is where you're headed with him, by the way. Complete splitsville. No friends. Just polite.
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