Should we take a break? Is it fair for him to kiss her again?

[totallydumbfounded99]

To make a long story short, my boyfriend kissed another girl about a week ago. We're trying to cope with it, and figure out what to do. We have 2 options:

 

1) We stay together. I'm actually doing ok with everything. I love him more than anything, and I am more than willing to forgive and forget (since she was my friend also).

 

2) We can "take a break" to make sure that we still want to be together. One thing wrong with this is that we are a very private couple. We don't really argue or have fights, but when something comes up, we definitely do not make it public. If we go on a break, we want it to be private also, so to everyone else...we are still together. And I know that will make it hard, to be pretend that everything is ok, when it really isn't. But that's still not the hard part.....

 

..the girl he kissed lived about 13 hours away and she is coming to visit some of her friends here in a couple weeks(we're all mutual friends). The problems is that if we are on a break, and he does kiss her again when she is down here (which technically should be ok, because a break is a break, and I can't make any rules), I cannot deal with that. But he really doesn't have to tell me if he did kiss her though. Do you see my dilema? I want to know if they do kiss, but at the same time it's not my business if we're on a break.

 

But also, if I find out that they did...it's over. If he wants to be with me, he shouldn't have to make out with her again. And i've told him this...but we still aren't sure about what to do. He did say though, that if by chance he did make out with her again, then maybe he would know if it's just a physical attraction to her, or if it was more. We have been together for 4 years, and we've NEVER had a problem like this. We've never been on a break before or anything like that. We have always been happy and had a wonderful relationship! We are both in our mid-20s, and ready to get married to each other, which was our original plans before this happened.

 

Can you please give me your opinion? Should we take a break? Is a break necessary? Is it fair for him to kiss her again, and should I know if they do? PLEASE HELP!!! Any insight would be greatly appreciated!!!!

[laRubiaBonita]

OMG~ he is sooooo taking you for a ride!

 

tell him if he does anything to anyone during ths break you are gone.

 

why should he need to hang out with this whore? and not you?

 

i would dump his ars soo fast!

[SexKitten]

he's already thinking about making out with her again, and is making it seem like he is innocently testing his feelings.

 

he doesn't need to test them, he liked her enough to kiss her when he had a girlfriend--you. he doesn't need to do anymore testing with her. maybe he should think about testing himself by seeing if he can not kiss other girls. don't fall for this crap.

 

if you aren't willing to put up with it, don't. but understand that means possibly losing him. it might not be the worst thing. i know you love him, but he doesn't seem to good for you. a little shmoozy.

 

also, i understand you're private people, but part of being in a mature relationship is making your own decisions for yourselves--that means not pretending you're still together when you're not just for other people's benefit. that's a little ridiculous, and will be confusing to both of you. you're never work it out that way.

 

you can make it known that it's not anyone else's business by saying "yes, we're having a little rift, but i don't really don't care to discuss it. i'll let you know if i need to talk. thanks."

 

good luck. let us know how it turns out.