Gloria25 Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Ok, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on in dude's head here... Guys, have you ever spent a year (or more) just liking a woman w/o intentions of ever dating her - although you are attracted and/or interested in her? Have you ever spent that year sorta doing "gestures" to get her attention. Well, maybe you didn't do it to get her attention, but she sorta "inspires" you to do these things? What things do I speak of? Let's say you find out she likes guys with certain hair cuts. Ok, you go and spend your money on that hair cut. Let's say you find out she appreciates a guy who is handy with a blade. Ok, you go out, put into practice your skills on blades and post it like on social media - where you sorta know she'll check it out. My over all thing is, I believe that when men are attracted to women - they sorta are inspired/motivated to do things to get her attention. They are also inspired/motivated to become interested in things they know she is interested in...I believe the definition of this is called "mirroring". BUT, if I'm correct, isn't "mirroring" done with the intent of dating that woman? To woo her? So, why would a guy "mirror" for a year w/o any desire to date the woman he's mirroring? I mean, it's to the point where he literally runs away from her if she tries to talk to him. I mean, I can see where he's afraid of rejection, coming on to strong, etc. - cuz I am very guarded with my heart myself:love: But still, I don't get it, I don't....At some point you gotta ask the girl out, no?
Diezel Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Not if you have an irrational fear of rejection. And it happens, to those less socially experimented. All it takes is one soul-crushing rejection and you either grow from it or you dwell and live within that. You don't get it, because you haven't been rejected dozens of times upon asking a woman out.
deadelvis Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Yes. Men mirror the activities we think a woman will admire. If you add a guy on facebook and then the next week you keep bumping into him at all the locations you "tagged yourself at" recently... and he's always reading one of your favorite books... he stalked your profile, did some homework and now he's mirroring your interests. but... being handy with a blade? Are you dating the Highlander? This confuses me. 3
Author Gloria25 Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 Not if you have an irrational fear of rejection. And it happens, to those less socially experimented. All it takes is one soul-crushing rejection and you either grow from it or you dwell and live within that. You don't get it, because you haven't been rejected dozens of times upon asking a woman out. Wrong, I DO get it - hence, why I pretty much engage in casual RLs...cuz, by keeping guys at a distance, my heart is protected, I cannot be rejected. I just am frustrated here, cuz I am so tangled up in him cuz I see the gestures/mirroring and get my hopes up and nada I don't know if I'm being selfish here in trying to get him to step out of his comfort zone and just "talk" to me...but it's been a year now. And, I don't know what to do to make him comfortable. I also fear that w/o me knowing what makes him uncomfy, how can I make him comfy? **sigh**
Author Gloria25 Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 [quote=deadelvis;6511266 but... being handy with a blade? Are you dating the Highlander? This confuses me. Lol, I didn't mean the "haircut" and "blade" literally... I don't know who frequents here and am trying to post w/o revealing who in real life I'm talking about. But, he appears to frequent here, so he probably knows I'm talking about him although he knows I'm not referring to a haircut and/or blades
GemmaUK Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 But, he appears to frequent here, so he probably knows I'm talking about him although he knows I'm not referring to a haircut and/or blades Why don't you ask him? I've seen a few posts of yours similar to this - maybe he just knows it winds you up? It's probably nothing more than that. Ignore it and it'll go away. 1
Author Gloria25 Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 Why don't you ask him? I've seen a few posts of yours similar to this - maybe he just knows it winds you up? It's probably nothing more than that. Ignore it and it'll go away. And that's what I'm gonna do...ignore it and he'll move on to snoop in mail and play hide and go seek games with some other chick. THANKS!!!
LivingAbroad Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Sounds like he's scared of reject. It's a sad true that you get more no's than yes's in life.
Author Gloria25 Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 Sounds like he's scared of reject. It's a sad true that you get more no's than yes's in life. Reject of what? I've given the guy my tel, made attempts to give him access to my HOME via asking him to do work for me, I've tried chatting him up on the regular...I'm obviously interested in him, like duh If he's scared of rejection, just chatting me up over a coffee isn't gonna kill him; and, or a casual "hi, how are ya" isn't gonna kill anyone either. Oh, I forgot, if he dare engage me in contact/convo it's gonna feed his "crush" on me...ok, then make up your mind. Poop or get off the toilet. You can't "mirror" a chick then be like, "nah, if I talk to her, I'm gonna like her more"...well, spending your money to do a haircut kinda means you already like, so, why not just talk to her some time and save your money? Eh? **Gloria25 drops mic and exits stage**
alphamale Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 So, why would a guy "mirror" for a year w/o any desire to date the woman he's mirroring? because he's a homosexual
Standard-Fare Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Not knowing anything about this other than what you've posted here, I'm wondering if it's a stretch for you to assume he's doing certain things specifically to impress you. (Even subconsciously.) Is it possible that these are actually just coincidences you're reading too much into? 1
Davey L Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Gloria, I rather have the impression from what you have posted on this site that you might be perceived as, well, just slightly intimidating perhaps? A lot of guys are nervous enough approaching a woman at all, let alone a scary one
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