Break up support and getting rid of hope of getting back together.

[KitKittie]

Hi Loveshack, I was just looking for your opinions on my break up and some support to try to move on.

 

What happened is my ex. broke up with me a few days ago because we might be moving after graduation (but we might not either) and he isn't willing to do a long distance. He broke up with me because of the chance we might be doing long distance makes him feel hesitant to fully invest himself in me, which he says I deserve someone to do for me. He told me he loved me, and I have been the best girlfriend. He says he can't keep going on a relationship with me now because he feel miserable that he isn't giving me what I deserve even though he wants to because he's scared of a possible long distance and more hurt in the future. We talked about it for many hours/days and at the end, we couldn't find a solution and he broke up with me because of guilt, and him feeling miserable.

 

Any suggestions to help me move on with my life? Sometimes I have the feeling that he might go bananas and run back to me saying how I was the best and long distance isn't nearly as bad as losing me.

In reality, I know that's never going to happen but how can I make it sink in?

[Liono84]

Sorry to hear that. That's definitely the hardest part... Going full NC after you get dumped is not hard because it's the only way to heal, but letting go of the thought and hope of them contacting you in the near future to get back together is indeed the hardest part.

 

 

I, too, went through a recent LDR breakup. I think the distance aspect both helps and hurts at the same time. It helps because it's easier for you to move on, since you won't run the risk of bumping into them and knowing the fact that they're far away prevents any hope from entering your mind. But It also hurts because you're always left wondering for it not for the distance part, this legitimately could have worked out. (Assuming there were no issues between you two and feelings of affection and compatibility were strong).

Edited August 25, 2015 by Liono84

[KitKittie]

Sorry to hear that. That's definitely the hardest part... Going full NC after you get dumped is not hard because it's the only way to heal, but letting go of the thought and hope of them contacting you in the near future to get back together is indeed the hardest part.

 

 

I, too, went through a recent LDR breakup. I think the distance aspect both helps and hurts at the same time. It helps because it's easier for you to move on, since you won't run the risk of bumping into them and knowing the fact that they're far away prevents any hope from entering your mind. But It also hurts because you're always left wondering for it not for the distance part, this legitimately could have worked out. (Assuming there were no issues between you two and feelings of affection and compatibility were strong).

 

I broke NC yesterday haha.. but ended the conversation. It hurt so much to break NC that I'm not going to do it again unless it's needed. I wished him good luck on something and he told me that he was thinking about me ):

 

At this point, we haven't even moved. We broke up because of the POSSIBILITY of a long distance relationship in the future. We're actually going to be in the same city for the next year at minimum... we go to the same university too. It was just he couldn't handle the fact that after we graduate there is a change for long distance. He felt like he was doing me a wrong for not fully investing his heart into our relationship because he was scared that we would move after graduation. This sucks. lol