CARL45 Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 I've been dating a woman for two and half months. It's been great, but I feel like the initial enthusiasm is over. Another part of me thinks I should break up with her,but I think this is crazy. I'm afraid I'm afraid of taking this woman for granted. Is this normal?
Jules Dash Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 There is this thing called "the honeymoon period" but it usually last longer than 2 and a half months. All relationships lose some luster or enthusiasm after some time and this is where you have to appreciate the finer qualities of your partner to keep fire alive. If I feel the woman is a good, caring person it is worth it for me to maintain the relationship. You have to ask yourself if she is someone worth having in your corner for the long run and if you are attracted to her still. 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Hard to say. What was the initial enthusiasm? When did it stop? How often do you see each other per week? Did anything in the relationship change? What do you think of her? What is good about her? 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 There is this thing called "the honeymoon period" but it usually last longer than 2 and a half months. All relationships lose some luster or enthusiasm after some time and this is where you have to appreciate the finer qualities of your partner to keep fire alive. If I feel the woman is a good, caring person it is worth it for me to maintain the relationship. You have to ask yourself if she is someone worth having in your corner for the long run and if you are attracted to her still. Some of the enthusiasm/nervousness comes from uncertainty about the relationship. If you are beyond that you can relax and not be on edge. This may change your perspective 1
Author CARL45 Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 Thanks guys for your advice! i guess I just haven't been in a relationship where someone's been really into me. Most of the time I'm mor into the other person. I'm still attracted to her and there's several qualities I like about her. I guess I might be overreacting. 1
Versacehottie Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Do you think it's possible that you worry that things will get boring or that you will be too exposed? Coupled with the fact that she is nice and accommodating so there's very little edge aka challenge for you? Don't throw away a good person when sometimes part of the problem lies with you. Maybe it's just your inexperience with relationships or ones that have going the distance potential? And of course, there is a chance that there is a connection but it's just not strong enough. Make sure you don't just do regular, average boring things. Bring something to the relationship. What you spend time doing, how you communicate with each other. I think if people just do linear, regular stuff, no matter what things can get boring. Spice it up.
Redhead14 Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 I've been dating a woman for two and half months. It's been great, but I feel like the initial enthusiasm is over. Another part of me thinks I should break up with her,but I think this is crazy. I'm afraid I'm afraid of taking this woman for granted. Is this normal? It is not the end of the honeymoon period. It appears that perhaps the honeymoon period never started. If you are indeed taking her for granted, I'd say she has been making herself too available to you. The chase is over. What is the dating history/pattern?
Author CARL45 Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 Well it started with us seeing each other two times a week. when we started dating. Now we see each other three or four times a week. I also rarely text her unless it's about meeting up.
Redhead14 Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 Well it started with us seeing each other two times a week. when we started dating. Now we see each other three or four times a week. I also rarely text her unless it's about meeting up. Three or four times per week at this stage is "overkill", smothering the relationship. If you are spending that much time together now you are actually killing the ability for intimacy to grow. You get too comfortable too soon on a superficial level. I'd create some space. Call her more often and see her two times a week. Make a plan ahead of time for each week so she understands when you will be seeing each other and not freaking out about the decline in frequency. Call her and keep in good touch in between dates. Keep the length of the calls shorter so as to leave things to talk about when you do meet each other. If she mentions the decline in frequency, be honest with her, tell her you want time to miss her and have something to look forward to each week rather than a routine. It will also allow you to have more things to talk about when you are together. You can increase the frequency again later. If you're spending so much time together now, it starts to feel like you are an old married couple. And, that's fine for old married couples because they have bonded in a more intimate way over time and they are truly comfortable enough with each other. But, a lot of old married couples will feel stagnated and they will actually start "dating" again to reconnect. They step back from each other a little bit too.
Gaeta Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 You still did not explain how the initial enthusiasm has faded. Is it on her part or your part? Give us concrete example. I personally don't think seeing someone 3-4 times a week is over kill depending on what type of 'seeing' we're talking about. If you sleep over 4 times a week yes I'd call it over killing but if it's only spending a couple of hours together over lunches I would not call that over kill.
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