queenie01 Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Does anyone have any good advice on how to get your ex back, if he is the one who broke up with you due to feelings of doubt and claims "something is missing"
Pocky Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Why do you want to get your ex-lover back when they left you because they didn't feel anything in the relationship? You'd have an empty relationship - what's the point of that?
Treasa Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I think I already answered you. You can't "get your ex back". It's THEIR choice. You go on about your life, find happiness within yourself, keep yourself busy, and if they want to come back, make sure they earn it. <-----someone who GOT her ex back and didn't go about trying too hard to do it
Author queenie01 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 Well in all honesty i think he is very confused and doesnt really know what he wants...he is keeping my stuff at his house and wants us to get together in a couple weeks to talk and see how we feel. I am sort of startign to resent him tho because i feel he is mistreating me in this whole ordeal. He said he knows he handled it all wrong but still... last time we communicated was on friday and he said he needs more time to know if he is happier... I think you are right tho, i guess i should just move on and make no efforts to communicate whatsoever. How did you get your ex back?
SadAndLonely Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 He may be confused, but YOU can't tell him how to feel. He has to come to the realization of what he wants in his own time. You have two choices: 1. You can let him have his time. If you try to force him to take you back, he likely won't. 2. You can tell him you feel resentful and don't want to even try again. But you have to MEAN it. Do NOT use it as a game. I didn't "get my ex back", strictly speaking. I went on about my life, responded when he'd call me, was upbeat and happy, and removed him from his pedestal. After about a month he was telling me how much he missed me and whatnot. I made him work hard to earn me back, which he did. We've been together for about seven months since reuniting, and about a year altogether now. Edited: Sorry, toggling between usernames looking for something. I'm the same person, though.
Author queenie01 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 Im confused too because none of it makes sense, we talked about the future and just the nite before we broke up he text me to say good nite and i love you...so weird to end it the day after. There is no other girls either.. The part that is the hardest for me is seeing him and he wont even look at me...why do you think that is? Well im definitely not contacting him anymore, i made my effort on friday and he still felt the same way, it was only 1 week later tho. He keeps telling me over and over, that time apart will let us know if we were right...and things will workout the way they were suppose to etc.. I wish i never emailed him last friday or sent the pics on monday...do you thnk that did a lot of damage?
SadAndLonely Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Yeah, I think you did damage. He may have gotten spooked by talk of the "future", or maybe he feels stifled. Sending him pictures is sort of pushy and clingy. He might not be looking at you right now because he doesn't want to instigate any talks at the moment. I think he wants time to himself, and you really need to accept that and leave him alone. In fact, you need to stop dwelling on it, and get your life going and get busy doing other things. Because there's a chance he won't return to you, and even if he does, he won't want to return to someone who's focusing on him so heavily. Trust me on this.
SinceIvebeenlovingU Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Whoa this is off topic but are Treasa and Sadandlonely the same person...because that's wried if they aren't Also Treasa when u say u didn't do much to get yours back...i mean...i don't want mine to come back for a relationship parsay...i just want her to come back so i can tell her no...but that's not happening....i don't think u could give me any advice but to keep moving and so on i go...lol
Author queenie01 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 Well i am dwelling on it because we have been broken up for less than 2 weeks. I cant move on that fast...i have been keeping busy and going out and stuff.. I havent called him once, only emailed him and then sent the stupid pics which i shouldnt have but oh well its done, cant reverse it. Maybe hes got issues i have no idea...all i know is he is the one who initiated future talk in the past not me...all of his friends are getting married too or engaged. He probably didnt see a future with me, i really dont know but you are right i have to stop dwelling on it and move on. He can contact me if he wants but im done.
SadAndLonely Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Yep, a few responses ago I said they were both me. I also posted a few days ago saying that Treasa was my new username, but no one responded, so... *shrug* As far as your issue goes, I think it's sort of mean to want her back just to tell her no. Life is too short to be bitter. Just move on and find your own happiness. Karma will come around and smack her upside the head, promise.
Fallen_Angel Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I'm not that far along in the healing process myself, and believe me when I say if there was some magic way to make my ex come back, I'd do it. You can't expect much after 2 weeks. Congratulate yourself if you're getting out of bed each day! Keep on keeping on. (Ok, sorry for the cheesy 70s reference.) You need this time to work on your relationship with YOU. I've been taking things one day at a time, even though to me each and every day feels like the day after it happened. Don't call, e-mail or anything similar. He knows how to contact you...so let him! Sit on your hands, dial/e-mail someone else, whatever it takes.
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