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Ladies, if you were looking for a relationship on dating sites like POF, what...?

Aztecgentlman480

By Aztecgentlman480
in Dating

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joseb Established Member

joseb

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Never heard of Oasis before. Is it a decent site?

 

I think it's just in Australia, and maybe UK?

 

I might give it a try.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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What if he worked on his licking?

Really tried hard to make it better?

 

 

OK, more seriously...

 

 

Gaeta...how often DO you "like" their profile enough to go out with them?

 

* I got to like something about his pictures - this is the first obstacle to pass.

* He has to be the right age

* He has to be a non smoker

* He has to be out of a relationship for 2 + years

* He has to send me a message that is a full sentence.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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licking = liking

English isn't my first language lol

MixedUpChick Established Member

MixedUpChick

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I only "like" profiles of men I'd be interested in meeting. I click Like on quite a few profiles, I think I'm less picky than some women.

 

I have to like his look (I'm not looking for anything in particular - he can be short or tall, bald or have hair, just not into really rotund men)

Has to be within about 8 years older or younger than me

Non-smoker or at least not a regular smoker (I have allergies & smoke bothers me)

Has to be able to put at least a couple words together to form a coherent sentence

Has to really be single

 

Everything else is more of the "nice to have" category

 

I respond to practically any message from someone who meets the above, although I prefer the messages that give me something to work with, like asking me a question or something that is looking for a response. "Hey" or "Hi" are annoying because the only relevant reply is just a "Hey" or "Hi" back, & doesn't really get a conversation going.

yxalitis Established Member

yxalitis

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* I got to like something about his pictures - this is the first obstacle to pass.

* He has to be the right age

* He has to be a non smoker

* He has to be out of a relationship for 2 + years

* He has to send me a message that is a full sentence.

Interesting, mostly I agree...

* I got to like something about his pictures As long as they aren't obese, I'll still date them, I'm much less superficial than most people it seems

* He has to be the right age +/- how many years from your age?

* He has to be a non smoker I used to think this, but a considerate smoker is OK

* He has to be out of a relationship for 2 + years Wow, 2+ years...!!!>????

* He has to send me a message that is a full sentence. ur sure perty doll

yxalitis Established Member

yxalitis

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I think it's just in Australia, and maybe UK?

 

I might give it a try.

It's an international (but English language) site.

 

 

I find a lot of immigrant Asians use it in Australia, so that suits me.

OKCupid tends to attract more "westernised" Asians in Australia.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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* He has to be the right age +/- how many years from your age? I am very open minded 15 years down and 2 years up. ;-)

 

* He has to be a non smoker I used to think this, but a considerate smoker is PK I admit if he hot enough I will overlook his smoking

 

* He has to be out of a relationship for 2 + years Wow, 2+ years...!!!>????Yep tired of being the reboud girl but if he's hot enough I will over look his recent divorce.

 

* He has to send me a message that is a full sentence. ur sure perty doll I am an intelligent woman, educated, successful, I need an articulate man in my life BUT if he's hot enough I will over look his bad grammar

 

Well OP: That shows you it doesn't matter what you send in your first message. As long as you're to her l-i-k-i-n-g she will reply.

  • Like 1
MixedUpChick Established Member

MixedUpChick

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* He has to be a non smoker. I admit if he hot enough I will overlook his smoking

 

* He has to be out of a relationship for 2 + years. Yep tired of being the rebound girl but if he's hot enough I will over look his recent divorce.

 

* He has to send me a message that is a full sentence. I am an intelligent woman, educated, successful, I need an articulate man in my life BUT if he's hot enough I will over look his bad grammar.

 

So you're tired of being the rebound girl, but if he's hot enough, you don't mind being the rebound girl? And if he's hot enough, the smoking & bad grammar don't matter? Ugh. I really wish you hadn't said those things :(

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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So you're tired of being the rebound girl, but if he's hot enough, you don't mind being the rebound girl? And if he's hot enough, the smoking & bad grammar don't matter? Ugh. I really wish you hadn't said those things :(

 

haha! where's your sense of humour.

  • Like 2
MixedUpChick Established Member

MixedUpChick

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Oh good! I totally thought you were serious :o

joseb Established Member

joseb

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haha! where's your sense of humour.

 

I don't think you were joking Gaeta?

 

I read it as you have rules, but you are willing to bend them for more attractive guys.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I don't think you were joking Gaeta?

 

I read it as you have rules, but you are willing to bend them for more attractive guys.

 

haha! you're cracking me up. Yes I have rules BUT rules are made to be broken once in a while. That being said. Women are no different than men, we need to feel attracted to something in a man. If his pictures don't talk to me at all then it does not matter if he sends me a beautiful well thought message.

 

Men seem to think there is a secret recipe that will have women fall for them. There isn't. We're gonna like you, or we're not.

cessna Established Member

cessna

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If she's attracted to you you can send her 'hey' and she'll respond. If she's not attracted to you you can write the most beautifully personalised message and you'll never hear back from her.

 

Simple as that.

  • Like 1
HereNorThere Established Member

HereNorThere

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Just a warning - online dating can be quite poisonous for males. It's a great ego boost for females, but it's not very healthy for good guys. If you have to do it, be my guest. However, if you have any other opportunities, go for them.

Jj66 Established Member

Jj66

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What's poisonous about it? It wasn't my experience.

StellaGrace Member

StellaGrace

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Oasis works better for me, I'd say 95% of my dates have come from there, and three relationships! (Disasters...but still...!)

 

The replies to this thread reveal there IS no answer, some woman want long, well crafted messages, some want a few lines of text.

 

Never heard of Oasis - is that a website or an app?

 

And I don't think anyone indicated they want a long message for an opener, did they?

StellaGrace Member

StellaGrace

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And for what it's worth, I have had several hot guys send me variations of the message "hi" and "hey" and " 'sup?" I never respond, despite their gorgeous exterior. I figure they have been coasting on their looks and don't have the ability to make decent conversation.... I also assume they couldn't be serious about finding a relationship with that kind of disinterested opener.

StellaGrace Member

StellaGrace

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She provides a lot of information in her profile. She's proud of how responsible she is at her age so you can ask about this. She requires courtesy and respect in her exchanges so be courteous. She has a dog so if you're a dog enthusiast, you'll know what questions to ask about her dog. She's ambitious, working in travel, something else to focus on. She has a number of very close female friends so she's likely an extravert. There are drinks in a couple of pics, so she might enjoy partying but likely not too wildly since she's only a social drinker. She's a hopeless romantic and when you combine this with her need for courtesy and gentlemanly behaviour, this tells you she wants to be wooed in a romantic way.

 

This is impressive detective work!

 

So OP, did you write her or not? And if you did, what did you say?

joseb Established Member

joseb

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And for what it's worth, I have had several hot guys send me variations of the message "hi" and "hey" and " 'sup?" I never respond, despite their gorgeous exterior. I figure they have been coasting on their looks and don't have the ability to make decent conversation.... I also assume they couldn't be serious about finding a relationship with that kind of disinterested opener.

 

Yeah i actually matced a pretty hot girl on tinder and sent her a wittyclever message including an opportunity to reply. Her reply? "Sup"

 

Honestly couldnt be bothered after that!

  • Like 1
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Aztecgentlman480 Member

Aztecgentlman480

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  • Author
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1. READ her profile

2. Respond to her profile

 

 

There is no magic silver bullet message you can type to improve your chances, be yourself, work out her personality, try and write something that addresses that.

 

She provides a lot of information in her profile. She's proud of how responsible she is at her age so you can ask about this. She requires courtesy and respect in her exchanges so be courteous. She has a dog so if you're a dog enthusiast, you'll know what questions to ask about her dog. She's ambitious, working in travel, something else to focus on. She has a number of very close female friends so she's likely an extravert. There are drinks in a couple of pics, so she might enjoy partying but likely not too wildly since she's only a social drinker. She's a hopeless romantic and when you combine this with her need for courtesy and gentlemanly behaviour, this tells you she wants to be wooed in a romantic way.

 

One more thing, should I ever introduce my name to her on my first message?

mystikmind2005 Established Member

mystikmind2005

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I get that but the problem with that is, this one particular woman on POF that I found doesn't quite explain her own personality enough for me to figure out what she likes. The only things she said to describe herself was that she claimed to be one of the the most responsible 20 years olds out there and she expects her future partner to be a gentleman. That's all that I've gathered from her profile.

 

Here's a link to her profile. amberinman Mesa Arizona singles,Mesa Arizona women

 

I always NEXT the profiles with limited information like that.

 

If a woman cannot find the time to put effort into her profile, why will she put effort into a relationship? the answer is that she will not.

  • Like 2
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

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Sorry but I actually think that is the most God awful profile in the history of the planet.

 

It says nothing other than I can put on make up, dresses and take selfies with my friends and because of that you have to spoil me...

 

This profile screams Princess complex to me.

 

If a guy had a profile like this I would not respond nor would I message.

 

Just saying.

 

However OP you are going to have to pick out the crumbs. Perhaps ask her where she would suggest for your next holiday or ask about that dog in her pictures...

 

Your going to have to pick at nothing for this one and I don't hold high hopes for you regardless of how good looking or great a catch you are.

 

Sorry to be so blunt but I actually think she is lazy if that all she can do is say she is great with out explaining why.

  • Like 1
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

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licking = liking

English isn't my first language lol

 

Yeah but I like your translations better sometimes!!! :D

  • Like 1
PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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Sorry but I actually think that is the most God awful profile in the history of the planet.

No way! I've seen many worse :D

 

Although when I was looking, a profile like that would get an immediate "next" from me. Fairly decent pics for the age group, but an almost-empty profile suggests an almost-empty brain.

 

Sure, if you really want to message this one I'd just say "hi how r u" or something. It costs 10 seconds of your time (which is about how much time she put into making the profile). There's really nothing else in the profile to start a conversation about. Or maybe go at it interview-style, so you say you're responsible can you give me 3 examples of how you've used your responsibility skills in a social environment?

 

But yeah she doesn't give any info about herself so it's basically a totally cold approach.

  • Like 1
PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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Posted (edited)
One more thing, should I ever introduce my name to her on my first message?

There is a box on your profile to put your first name (so it says "About Dave" or whatever), fill that in. Then your first name appears next to your message so there's no need to tell her your name in the message content.

 

Oh and if you're putting this much effort into *one* message, you're going to have a hard time. You'll likely need to send out many messages to even get a reply. You need to stop over-thinking the message. Effort put into your own profile and pics is far better spent because it helps with every person you message. If you have a good profile and pics then the message can be short and simple. Couple of sentences that reference something in her profile and show something in common, and a question that's not a yes/no answer.

Edited by PegNosePete
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