brftrobin Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color] Hi I am sure I know the answer to my problem, but I guess I need some reassurance, here it is; I met this guy online in November, we talked on the phone for hours and after a few weeks, we met in person. We live about an hour away from each other and both are single parents. We met and hit it off instantly, we spent the weekend together and it was wonderful, we continued this about 2 months (seeing each other almost every weekend). Well one night he told me he was going to some office thing, but I had this feeling he wasn't. He called me that night and told me that he had been there and blah blah blah. Well, I thought maybe I was just overreacting, so I let it go, 2 days later he was suppossed to come to my house for the weekend, when he got here, he told me we needed to talk. That he had lied to me, he was talking to his ex-girlfriend the night of the office thing and that he still had feelings for her. It wasn't me it was him. I was crushed, I had no idea. Well after a week or so, I got a call from a old acquaintence of mine (female) and we started talking about things and she mentioned she had been dating this guy and that he had 2 girls and told me his name. I couldn't believe it, we had both been dating the same person. She was the ex-girlfriend! She told me she had no feelings for him and didn't want to be with him. We became "fast friends" because we had "him" in common. Well she would call him and then tell me things that he had said to her, knowing it would hurt me. Well he took this as a sign she was interested. And he said things about me and our relationship to her that belittled it. I was so hurt. Then he kept calling me, telling me he still "loved" me as a friend, and wanted us to be friends. Well after a couple of months of not seeing him, I saw him and it was kind of wierd, but we still had a good time, nothing sexual, totally platonic. Then after a few weeks of that, we ended up sleeping together, I felt terrible about it, because I knew it was the wrong thing to do. So after a few weeks, we saw each other again, we ended up sleeping together again, this time the sex was great, unfortunately. All the time he is telling me how much he cares for me, but he can't give me what I deserve and what I need, and he just wants us to be friends with benefits. I told him I can't do this, and he said "are you breaking up with me?" He continues to call me every day, he calls me every night just like when we were "together" and talks to me for an hour or more and wishes me sweet dreams. But we're "just friends" When he knows I am going to be in town, he always does something he knows I will like, like wear a certain shirt or a certain cologne. If he's taking his kids to the movies, he calls to tell me and that he's turning his ringer off on his phone, just so I know. And if I'm out with friends he calls me constantly to "check in". I don't get it! Am I just being a fool hoping for more than he will ever give me or does he really care?
totallydumbfounded99 Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 So I'm taking it that he doesn't know that you're friends with his ex, whom he still loves? This guy sounds like a creep. You should confront him and tell him everything. I would definitly cut all ties with this guy!!!
Author brftrobin Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 No, he knows, we confronted him about that when we found out. He doesn't want anything to do with her anymore and she doesn't want anything to do with him, so that basically is a non-issue, except for the fact that I think she may be crazy. lol
totallydumbfounded99 Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 "All the time he is telling me how much he cares for me, but he can't give me what I deserve and what I need, and he just wants us to be friends with benefits." It sounds to me that you really know that you deserve better. If you really don't feel that he can give you what you need, then I see no point in fooling around with him. I know how hard situations like this can be, but I think he just calls you for a "booty call". I personally wouldn't invest anymore of my time in him. Maybe be friends, but definitely no sex. He doesn't seem to want to a relationship. I would give him up and let it go!
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