Ex gf left for another guy and now we are talking again

[PegNosePete]

Tell her that she has to articulate what she wants from you, or further communication between you two has to stop.

Thats exactly what I told her last time we spoke but she couldn't tell me.

Then you need to activate the bolded part of that statement.

[mightycpa]

If she didn't hold a special place in my life I wouldn't even think about it and would just stop talking to her.

That's what memories are for. To honor those people who held special places in your life. Make her a memory.

[bubbaganoosh]

Look. Right now your nothing but a life line to her. Your the "Just in case" guy for her. If all else fails, then she can still work things out with you.

 

Just ask yourself if you deserve more. If you do then cut the line and let her sink swim on her own.

 

The longer you let this nonsense go on the harder it will be on you and you'll never get your head straight.

[Harradin]

Go NC and don't look back.

[DKT3]

What she wants is simple. Picture three trains head one direction on the same track, your the third train, your ex is the middle and the new guy is the front. The middle one is the only one that can change speeds. So as she get closer to the front train it creates more distance with the back train. Her actions toward you are a direct reaction from him. Make no mistake she is chasing him and dragging you along just in case she doesn't catch him, your right there safe and comfortable all she has to do is slow down. Change tracks don't allow her to dictate your future.

[aloneinaz]

You are right, I am beating it to death. I will do that.

 

 

So I've read a few of your posts on here and I have to say I really like your attitude. My break up is around 5 months ago and I've been with a few other girls in the meantime (not enjoyed it very much though), have gone out with friends a lot, have tried to come to terms with everything. So I've not been sitting around wallowing in self-pity (though I have done that too).

 

 

But somehow I find it really hard to stop thinking about the whole thing, ruminating about why it happened, beating myself up about mistakes I made and getting really angry with her. And what I find hardest is to let go of the thought of getting back together at some point.

 

 

You seem to have managed that quite well. Any tips on how you did it? Would be much appreciated .

 

 

I just did what this site and veteran members suggested in the NC rule. Pegnosepete had a great list to do as well.

 

 

The bottom line is you'll never move forward and get to feeling indifferent about this ex until you stop all contact. Once you do that and coupled with time passing, you'll feel much better. Everyone on this post is providing excellent suggestions. You owe this ex NOTHING.

 

 

My advice, stop all contact. Do some of the things on Pete's list. KEEP DATING. You'll meet someone that will make your heart skip a beat.

[TheMixtape]

I am in a similar situation. My ex girlfriend ran off with someone else, but I can tell she still wants to talk and sometimes our conversations would get flirty (although I have initiated NC with her for the last couple of months) - we get on VERY well but for my own sanity, I forced myself to go NC.

 

I think you should just go NC.