jambes Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Hello everyone... I'm having a real tough time atm. It's been 4 months since my ex girlfriend left me (2 year relationship). I've been struggling ever since, with the all familiar ups and downs. I fell into all the pitfalls in the beginning: begging, calling her every day, bargaining,... It has been very hard for me to go no contact. But i did it over the last few months, gradually having better days. The thing is: she and I share a workplace. It's not that we work in the same 'department', but I do risk bumping into her once in a while. I have been avoiding her like crazy, going to work early to prevent meeting her in the parking lot, looking over my shoulder every time i leave the building etc. But fate is what it is, and i have bumped into her a few times. EVERYTIME i'm devastated. Seems like all the progress i made disappears. I get this huge craving of calling or contacting her after we have (briefly) seen each other. When I see her she always looks like she has it all together, smiles her smile, talks to all other people around us like she is very happy and it doesnt affect her at all to see me. And offcourse she ignores me, or shoots me the formal greetings with a stale face. I hate it. The last time I saw her was 3 days ago. I only saw her from a distance, I dont think she saw me. The minute i noticed her I fled the scene. In that brief moment I saw her smiling and having fun with a collegue though. It hurts so bad to see her happy and unaffected by this all. I know i should be happy for her if i really love her, but i simply cant. Now I cant shake it off once more. I cant get her out of my head and it is sickening. For 4 months she has occupied my thoughts and is the first thing i think about when I wake up. Its becoming (is being) some kind of obsession and i dont know what to do about it. I even consider changing jobs, but is this all worth all that trouble? (especially at a time where i find myself less then confident, I'm not really in the right state of mind to go jobhunting). It's like all the work I have done so far in getting over this disappears in a heartbeat when she is in sight. And the worst feeling I have is that this all doesnt even affect her and she can go on with her life without a problem. Sorry, needed to vent a little. I'm getting really desperate. I had hoped time would soften and heal. It does as long as I dont see her for a while. But when i do, the pain feels just as real as on day 1... Man I wish I had a magic wand to poof this all away. I really want to talk to her about this, but my rational mind knows I would even be better off banging my head into a brick wall. It's just tha my emotions are taking over my life and I cant seem to find a way to properly cope. This is eating up all my mental energy. Thanks for reading...
d0nnivain Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Congratulate yourself on surviving the encounter. Now think to yourself that she is managing to move forward so you can to. Take steps other than contacting her to heal your pain. Get rid of all mementos of her. Make some positive lifestyle changes. Make a lis of all her bad qualities & why you are better off apart.
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