Am I making the right decision?

[Throw]

Hello

I am not sure if this is the right thing to post here as I've never been here..

 

I am recently very conflicted with a situation I am going through. I ended things with a guy I was seeing recently as I felt that it was the right thing to do for the sake of myself, but I am feeling scared that I might have made a choice that others wouldn't have done. I consulted my family and close friends and all of them are baffled that I would actually consider being with this guy, and I feel stupid and probably am stupid for being upset over this..

 

Long story short, a guy in his early 30s wants to pursue a relationship with me. I am 21. The catch is he is married. He claims that he doesn't even stay with his wife anymore, which I can believe given he spends everyday at work and with me. He probably has kids as well - He told me he doesn't want to discuss his family. I wanted to end it when I realised that that was the reality but I didn't until now (few days after).. I believed what he said and it is only now that I actually started thinking about it.

 

I am probably going to get judged for that but I am more affected by his past than the idea that he is married. He told me he had been with girls as young as I am before - He has had Sugar Babies, in other words. I was very affected by this and have been thinking about this trying to rationalise it. I am not sure if this is something that should be acceptable if I were to enter a relationship with a guy.

However, he told me that he has had relationships and sugar babies, so no casual sex, when I raised my feeling uncomfortable about his past. He got pissed off when I started questioning him further and said that I wasn't an angel either. If he was being truthful, yes, I had more sexual partners than he has had. But I doubt he is given some stuff his friend had talked to me casually before (about spending at clubs to get girls to the table).. Am I nuts to doubt him?

 

I ended seeing this guy yesterday after feeling like crap about the above mentioned information and feel terrible. I think I wanted to believe that if I accepted his past I would be happy with him. He claims to have lots of feelings for me, and wanted to share an apartment with me among other things.

I ended it because I couldn't accept his past, and after thinking about it - There isn't a real future with him as well. Am I right to say that I am making a right choice to leave a guy who is married as well, regardless of whether he is "sleeping/ living with the wife"? Even so, if he was single, is his past acceptable and should I be able to accept that about a guy?

 

Additionally, when I ended it with him and told him why, he got annoyed really quickly. He was really emotionless about it and said stuff like 'Well if you say you don't want to be with me it is your choice' and 'If there is no choice then just move on.'

 

Sorry about the lengthy post and weird questions.. I know they might seem pretty 'duh' but I have been stuck in a train of thought for so long (like 21 hours in bed sort of thing) I start to have weird thoughts that make everything seem warped. I sort of want to be convinced that I am making a good choice.

Edited August 24, 2015 by Throw

[Versacehottie]

You 100% made the right choice. Run far away and don't look back. He is a dead end as a married guy and questionable about everything he says/does. Don't second guess yourself. He is just trying to guilt trip you. Constant liars are very good at flipping it onto the other person and changing the focus onto something that's easier to combat. Seriously, you did the right thing. Cut off contact altogether.

[Zagan]

He claimed he's had "sugar babies"? And you're still wondering if you made the right choice?