LeftBehindx Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 He told reconciled w and ex and is moving. He won't meet with me to talk and thinks I'm madly in love with him. I want to clear things up with this letter: I really wish you had met with me before moving away so I could have gotten this off my chest in person. First off, let me explain why I was initially so emotional. It isn't some "I've lost the love of my life!" bull****. Even though what we had was very casual, I still grew to care for and value you as a friend. When I think of you, I see a person who is genuine, wholesome, and kind. But after not hearing from you for over a month, I really thought you were just cutting me out of your life completely. My mind was filled with self-doubt and my confidence in every aspect of my being was torn. When someone cuts you out like that, it's as though the friendship and you as a person are absolutely worthless to the other. Now that I know you weren't cutting me out at all, but instead had an ex who you still love come back into your life, I'm contented. I'm truly happy for you. The fact that you two waited 3.5 years for life to bring you back together, and you could pick things up as they were tells me you two really have something special. Both of you are leaving your lives behind and starting anew together after just 2 weeks back together. It's a fairy tale romance story, and there's no way I would ever want to get in the way of something as true as what you have. I know you say "I'll be back in four years, who knows what will happen". But I do know. I know how I feel: that there is no deadline to have kids, get married. Others don't feel quite the same. There's huge pressure to do things at your age. Besides, you two obviously have an incredibly strong connection with one another. In four years time you may be returning, but it will be with a beautiful wife and child. Of course we'll still be friends. But not the way we were before. No more midnight conversations about Interstellar particles colliding. Nonetheless, I'll still be happy to catch up with you, even if it is just once a year, so keep in touch. Fate has granted you with the most amazing of situations. There's no way I can help but to be happy for you.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 I don't know the backstory, but I would not send him this letter. If he won't even talk to you, I don't think this letter will be well-received and he may not read it. Worse, he might share it with his now-girlfriend or other people. I don't think you would want that. The sentiment in your letter is very kind, and your heart is in the right place. However, I don't think you need to justify or explain yourself the way you have. Are you hoping to get a response from him?
Author LeftBehindx Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 I don't know the backstory, but I would not send him this letter. If he won't even talk to you, I don't think this letter will be well-received and he may not read it. Worse, he might share it with his now-girlfriend or other people. I don't think you would want that. The sentiment in your letter is very kind, and your heart is in the right place. However, I don't think you need to justify or explain yourself the way you have. Are you hoping to get a response from him? Are you hoping to get a response from him? No not at all. I just want him to know what I'm not madly in love with him and that I understand what we had was casual. Since I was emotional after not hearing from him for so long, he's convinced that I'm madly in love with him. That's not it AT ALL. I want that to be clear to him, it was the fact that I thought he was cutting me out that had me emotional.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 No not at all. I just want him to know what I'm not madly in love with him and that I understand what we had was casual. Since I was emotional after not hearing from him for so long, he's convinced that I'm madly in love with him. That's not it AT ALL. I want that to be clear to him, it was the fact that I thought he was cutting me out that had me emotional. Sending him a thought-out and sentimental letter transmits the exact opposite message, though.
pidgeon1010 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 (edited) Please don't sent it. I was cringing while reading this letter. It reeks of someone who is emotional and having a hard time moving on. He doesn't need your "blessing". He doesn't need to know you're OK with him reconnecting with his ex. He doesn't need to know you're not madly in love with him- he left you so I doubt he cares one way or the other. The letter will serve no purpose. He will probably roll his eyes and carry on with his new gf. The way to show you're not madly in love with him is to move on and him never hear from you again. Silence speaks volumes. Edited August 24, 2015 by pidgeon1010 1
drseuss Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 No stay in no contact it's the strongest position to be in and sending the letter won't help you because if you don't hear from him you will constantly be wondering if he got it , then you will make a thread called should in ask him of he got my letter , dragging the pain out even more , I know it sucks .....
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